What someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life is that they don’t have a good connection with how they feel or their needs. They could then see that their life is largely driven by their need to please others and what is ‘right’.
Consequently, their life is not ... Views: 1
Not only can a man be focused on his mother but she can also expect him to be there for her and meet certain needs. From this, it will be clear that she can’t accept that he has his own needs and life to lead.
Based on how she treats him, it will be as if he is her possession and thus, she ... Views: 1
If a man acts like an extension of his mother and is not living his own life, it is likely to show that something is not right. As he is separate from her and has his own needs and life to lead, he shouldn’t be behaving in this way.
One way of looking at this would be to say that he needs to ... Views: 2
By "sobriety," I mean healthy self-control, a centered enjoyment of life, and inner freedom from drivenness. We typically apply this sense of balance and self-care to things like food, drugs and alcohol, sexuality, money, and risky behaviors. And if you like, you could bring sobriety to other ... Views: 3
Even though someone will have had a physical birth, it doesn’t mean that they had an emotional birth. When it comes to the former, this is something that would have taken place automatically.
However, when it comes to the latter, this would have largely depended on how emotionally available ... Views: 4
If a man is overly focused on his mother and he is fed up with behaving in this way, he could talk to a friend or his girlfriend about what is going on. This can be a time when he will talk about how frustrated and drained he feels.
After this, the person he talks to can be understanding and ... Views: 4
Online payday loans have grown a common short-term funding solution for individuals requiring speedy dollars to repay critical bills. Most of these lending products are designed to produce urgent access to help finances, commonly for being given back because of the borrower’s future cash ... Views: 8
If a man was brought up by a mother who lacked empathy, he might not be consciously aware of this. Even so, it doesn’t mean that he will have truly moved on from this stage of his life.
Therefore, if he were to remember some of the things that took place and how this impacted him, he might ... Views: 8
If a man were to think about the experiences that he has had with women over the years, he might soon experience a number of ‘negative’ feelings. This is because he may have been with a number of women who were not very loving.
So, these women might not have typically been interested in his ... Views: 8
If a man has come to see that he is overly focused on his mother’s needs, he may need to start putting himself first. Along with this, he may need to talk to his mother about what is going on.
Nonetheless, if he were to talk to her about how he is neglecting himself and no longer wants to do ... Views: 9
Sometimes things are difficult. Your legs are tired and you still have to stay on your feet another hour at work. You love a child who's finding her independence through emotional distance from you. A long-term relationship could be losing its spark. It's finals week in college. You're trying to ... Views: 9
If a man is in a position where he is typically focused on a number of his mother’s needs and typically overlooks a number of his own, it can be hard for someone on the outside to understand why he is this way. To them, it can be clear that he is living in the wrong way.
However, if they were ... Views: 11
Even though someone has the right to be here and have their needs met, it doesn’t mean that they will know this at the core of their being. Instead, deep down, they can have the sense that they don’t deserve to be here or have their needs met.
Now, although this is something that they can be ... Views: 11
Although someone will have a mental and an emotional self, it doesn’t mean that they will be in touch with both of these selves. What can be normal is for them to be connected to their mental self but disconnected from their emotional self.
But, due to how normal this is, they might not be ... Views: 10
The Spiritual Split
By
Bill Cottringer
“Three things cannot be long hidden: The sun, the moon, and the truth.” ~Buddha.
One such truth is the awesome power of threes. Just consider the influence of the threes in pyramids, the Christian trinity, colors of traffic lights, a tri-fold ... Views: 14
If a man missed out on the support that he needed from his father throughout his formative years, it doesn’t mean that he will be aware of this. Furthermore, he might seldom if ever even think about this stage of his life.
But, when it does come to this stage of his life, he could think about ... Views: 13
If a man is overly focused on his mother and neglects himself, it doesn’t mean that his mother will feel uncomfortable with what is going on. Instead, she can believe that he is behaving in the right way.
What this can show is that she doesn’t realise that he has his own needs and is here to ... Views: 15
We're all carrying a load, including tasks, challenges, worries, inner criticism, mistreatment from others, physical and emotional pain, loss and illness now or later, and everyday stresses and frustrations.
Take a moment to get a sense of your own load. It's very real, isn't it? ... Views: 12
Based on how a man is behaving, that’s if he is overly focused on his mother’s needs, is that he is more like her parent than her son. He will then have been born after her but will be as though he was born before her.
However, although he will be playing a parental role, he might not be ... Views: 15
There’s a saying, “The ending is in the beginning.” Codependent relationship problems start with their low self-esteem, lack of boundaries, and their idealization of love — that it will solve their deeper problems, including shame, which generates beliefs such as: “If I’m loved, I’m lovable,” ... Views: 17
Ten Sensible Problem-Solving Strategies From the Trenches
by
Bill Cottringer
Life is a series of problem-solving opportunities. The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you depending on how you respond to them. ~Rick Warren.
Life presents us with three different sets ... Views: 19
If a man has come to see that he is neglecting himself because he is too focused on his mother, he might need to talk to her about what is going on. He might want to explain to her that behaving in this way is not serving him and he no longer wants to do as much for her.
Unsurprisingly, as he ... Views: 18
If a man can see that he is out of balance, due to how caught up he is with his mother’s needs, two things can cross his mind. First, he can wonder why he is this way and, second, if there is anything that he can do to change his life.
Now, he might soon see that he has been this way for as ... Views: 19
Stress has become an almost unavoidable part of modern life, affecting people in various ways, from physical discomfort to emotional distress. While occasional stress is normal, chronic stress can lead to serious health problems if left unmanaged. Thankfully, therapy offers an effective way to ... Views: 21
The fifth of my personal Top 5 practices (all tied for first place) is open out, by which I mean relaxing into a growing sense of connection, even oneness, with all things.
"Opening out" can sound kind of airy-fairy or flaky, but I mean it is very down-to-earth ways; check out these JOTs ... Views: 20
Four Main Perspectives in the Game of Life
By
Bill Cottringer
The difference between a mountain and a molehill is your perspective. ~Al Neuharth.
Heroes, Villains, Victims and Bystanders
There are only four choices,
For all the unheard voices:
Be an honorable hero,
And gain ... Views: 19
If a man was to see that he is overly focused on his mother, he can wonder why he is this way. But, if he is behaving more like her parent than her son, it is to be expected he would be confused.
He can spend a lot of time doing things for her and listening to her problems and providing ... Views: 19
If a man behaves as though he is merely an extension of his mother, it is going to be clear that he needs to change his behaviour. Ultimately, he is not here to be his mother’s slave; he is here to live his own life.
However, even though he will need to change his behaviour, it doesn’t mean ... Views: 21
If a man were to take a step back and reflect on his life, he may see that he is more like his mothers parent than her son. The reason for this is that he could spend a lot of time doing things for her.
Yet, even when he is not doing anything for her, he could still spend a lot of time ... Views: 21
In today’s fast-paced, high-stress world, mental health challenges have become a growing concern across various professions. From the boardroom to the classroom, the operating room to the courtroom, business professionals in diverse fields face immense pressures that can lead to burnout, ... Views: 23
The design and functionality of therapy chairs have undergone significant transformations over the years. What once began as simple, utilitarian seating has evolved into highly specialized furniture designed to enhance comfort, support, and therapeutic outcomes. This evolution reflects broader ... Views: 24
If a man has come to see that he is overly focused on his mother and ignores himself, he can struggle to understand why he is this way. What could be clear is that it doesn’t make any sense for him to be this way.
He could believe that he should be focused on his own life, not focused on his ... Views: 22
Even if someone fears that they are going to die, it doesn’t mean that they will generally be aware of this. Now, there will be a time when their life will come to an end; of course, death is part of life.
However, the difference here is that when it comes to the former, this will be ... Views: 26
I admit it: whether close to home or far away, I wish some people were different. Depending on who they are, I wish they'd stop doing things like leaving cabinet doors open in our kitchen, sending me spam emails, or turning a blind eye to global warming. And I wish they'd start doing things like ... Views: 24
What can be normal is for a man to generally live in his head and thus, be out of touch with his feelings and instincts. He is then going to look like a whole human being but he typically won’t operate as one.
But, if this is just what is normal, he might not be aware of how alienated he is ... Views: 25
Law of Attraction is a concept that many of us have heard before. It is a concept that posits how like attracts like, meaning that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person’s life.
With this thought process, you take charge of your life by aligning ... Views: 26
Even if a man feels as if something is missing, it doesn’t mean that he will be consciously aware of this. One reason for this is that he could live in a way that allows him to avoid how he feels.
So, he could spend a lot of time in doing mode, which will stop him from having to be with how ... Views: 27
What someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that they tend to hide their needs and how they feel. Along with this, there might also be parts of themselves and interests that they keep hidden.
Due to this, most, if not all, of the people in their life are not ... Views: 27
As general clusters that each include a number of specific methods, my Top 5 types of practices (all tied for first place) are:
Be mindful
Love
Take in the good
Go green
Open out
The practice of “go green” helps you get out of the brain’s ... Views: 28
What is clear is that if a man’s life revolves around his mother, he is not going to be able to live his own life. To use an analogy, it will be as though he is driving a car and instead of driving where he needs to go, he continually follows another car.
But, even though he will be ... Views: 27
Mental health has become a critical issue in the United States, with millions of Americans experiencing mental health challenges every year. Despite increased awareness and a growing recognition of the importance of mental well-being, the nation continues to grapple with a mental health crisis ... Views: 32
Now that someone is in their forties or fifties, they could have a deep sense that something is missing. This can mean that certain parts of their life are no longer satisfying, or this could relate to their whole life.
Along with the sense that they are living in the wrong way, they can ... Views: 31
Female narcissists can be harder to spot; first, because they’re less numerous, and second, because their behavior may be less assertive and public compared to male narcissists. Male narcissists outnumber female narcissists nearly three to one. However, narcissistic personality disorder is on ... Views: 38
As an adult, a man is free to do what is right for him and live his own life. However, if he spends most of his life focused on and doing things for his mother, he is unlikely to realise this.
In fact, he might not even realise that he is overly focused on his mother let alone that he has the ... Views: 29
For quite some time now, someone might have suffered from depression. As a result of this, they can typically have a low mode, not be able to experience pleasure or be interested in doing a great deal.
Due to this, days, weeks, months and even years might have passed by but they won’t have ... Views: 32
If someone were to take a step back and reflect on how they behave, they may find that they have the inclination to ignore their own needs and be there for others. After this, they might see that they have been this way for as long as they can remember.
Naturally, by being this way, a number ... Views: 32
Even if someone is an adult, it doesn’t mean that they will have actually had a childhood. Of course, there will have been a stage of their life when they were a child but this might have been a stage when they were rarely able to be a child.
If so, throughout this stage of their life, they ... Views: 34
I've hiked a lot and have often had to depend on what was in my pack. Inner strengths are the supplies you've got in your pack as you make your way down the twisting and often hard road of life. They include a positive mood, common sense, integrity, inner peace, determination, and a warm heart. ... Views: 35
Although someone will want to experience deeper connections with others, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to do so. So, they could find that other people are out of reach and they are unable to get close to them.
As a result, they might not have any close friends and they might not have ... Views: 34