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A sex addict is a person who misuse sex as means of coping with unwanted feelings and life stressors.
He looks to repetitive, compulsive sexual activities to fill a need for constant validation that shores up a fragile sense of self. If women desire him in reality or through pornography, his ... Views: 1430
Addiction to sexual behavior is a complex disorder that incorporates many aspects of your personality, bio-chemistry, socio-cultural environment, family-of-origin issues, thinking/feeling processes, self-esteem, and quality of relations with others. I see sex addiction as a prism; depending on ... Views: 1387
Most addicts would stop if they could.
It’s been said that of all the addictions, sex is the most difficult to manage. This syndrome is a complex mixture of biological, psychological, cultural, and family-of-origin issues, the combination of which creates impulses and urges that are virtually ... Views: 2105
Relapse in sexual addiction recovery is a reality. While all addictions are relapse prone, it is the sexual recovery community who suffer most from the demoralization of repeated relapse. After all, we can live without ever being around alcohol or drugs, but our sexuality is ever-present. ... Views: 4826
The philosophical basis for cognitive therapy goes back to the Stoic Philosophers who taught that it is not the external event that causes our distress, but rather our perception or interpretation of the event that is distressing. According to the Stoics, people are capable of considering ... Views: 2884
Group therapy is a highly effective treatment modality for sex addicts. It reduces shame and denial, limits isolation, increases socialization skills and the development of empathy. The process fosters the development of intimacy and helps sex addicts develop the coping skills they need to meet ... Views: 1363
Sex addiction recovery typically involves at least psychotherapy,twelve-step groups self-help groups and medication. Medication, while not always necessary, can serve as the “water wings” for negotiating the changes necessary for growth.
Certain psychiatrists believe that addiction is ... Views: 1449
“Brainlock”, a four-step self-help
guide for treating OCD is a book written by Jeffrey Schwartz, M.D., a physician who spent most of his career treating and doing research on Obsessive/Compulsive (OCD) behaviors. His has developed a four-part program self-help program that can be used for ... Views: 2607
The diagnosis of sex addiction is the same as every addiction: loss of control and continued behavior despite adverse consequences. Sexual addiction differs from other addictions, however. Our sexuality reflects unconscious conflicts, longings and wishes of which we are not aware.
In essence, ... Views: 2994
A number of years ago, in conjunction with my work with treating sexual addiction, a number of masochistic or submissive men began to come to me for help. The clients I saw did not seem immature or inferior. In fact, the reverse seemed to be true. They were successful by social standards: ... Views: 4136
My work over the last fifteen years as a psychotherapist treating sexual compulsions has brought me into contact with men - and more men. They come to my consulting room wearing the mask of shame, humiliation, and confusion. Often, after a period of therapy, they come to a common link among ... Views: 3941
Attachment patterns have to do with how the infant is tended to by his/her primary caregiver, typically the mother. This means that when an infant is upset, or dysregulated, the "good enough" mother soothes the infant thereby regulating his/her nervous system. This kind of consistent tending to ... Views: 2579
Steve is a professional musician. A man in his 50's, virile yet sensitive, he is sexually compulsive around fetishistic sex. Since his early teens, Steve had masturbated nearly every night before going to sleep. As he matured, his need for masturbation increased until he was masturbated five or ... Views: 3940
I've been sitting in a room talking to addicts for 25 years. All kinds of addicts. I've participated in the enormous struggles of alcoholics to get sober, cocaine, heroine, methamphetamine, food, love, nicotine, sex...all kinds of addictions.
My conclusion, culled from clinical experience, is ... Views: 2537
Who are sex addicts and what are they hoping to find through their compulsive sexual behavior?
Sex addicts are people who, afraid of real, intimate relationships, repeatedly and compulsively try to connect with others through highly impersonal, non intimate behaviors: masturbation, empty ... Views: 1446
Sex is surely one of the most powerful of all human experiences. It can drive people to the pinnacle of ecstasy or it can spiral others to the depths of self-loathing and despair. Sexual expression is meant to tie, or connect, to our core sense of self. Sexual energy is part of our life ... Views: 1656
The True Self is capable of objectively observing the Sex Addict Self because it's not obsessively preoccupied with getting it's neurotic needs met. Psychoanalysts call this the “observing ego” and it is considered a sign of maturity. Proponents of Eastern spirituality call the True Self “The ... Views: 2082
A sex addiction is a habitual response and a source of sexual gratification or emotional security. It is a way of coping with internal feelings and external pressures that provides the Addict” as “Not You”">addict with predictable and consistent immediate gratification, but that has concomitant ... Views: 1799
How many times have you been irritated by your boyfriend's or husband's behavior and you thought the best way to help the relationship problem situation and make the behavior go away was for you to somehow either ignore it or try to internalize it in such a way that it doesn't bother you ... Views: 979
Dear Dr. Romance:
I suffer with sleeping alone in "our" bedroom while my wife of 14 years, sleeps in our two pre-teen sons' bedroom. I've tried to talk and reason with her about this important problem, only to fall on deaf ears. I'm desperate. What else can i do? ... Views: 1546
A lot has changed since the publication of my book. I shared my personal story dealing with an emotionally unavailable man (EUM) I was seeing at the time. The friendship was great -we couldn't have bonded any tighter- but true to my own integrity as an author and coach (as per my own advice ... Views: 15583
The world is changing. I see it all around me.
More and more women are focusing on heart-centered living, embarking on a soul journey that takes them deeper within themselves, creating more meaning in their lives.
It’s beautiful to watch as they grow and blossom into more vibrant versions ... Views: 1289
Dear Dr. Romance:
I recently read "Does First-Love ever die? How to deal with a flame that still flickers" While my situation doesn't parallel the situations you described in the article, it's very similar.
About 8-9 mos ago, I ran into a highschool crush on a social ... Views: 1656
Many moons ago, our American founding fathers spurred a dialogue of constructive conflict that yielded a model constitution and a free republic. These innovators risked their lives in perilous times to give birth to a new nation. Some became very wealthy (e.g.- Washington, Franklin) while others ... Views: 2009
According Wikipedia the word, Manic means: affected with, relating to, characterized by or resulting from.
It's a perfect word to describe what many men are feeling in this rapidly changing world. For our purposes today we'll use the word MAN tongue-in-cheek in Manic. The reason is, men have ... Views: 1542
There is no doubt about it. You have a deeper, sexier speaking voice. Even if your voice is nasally, there is a remedy. All it takes is the knowledge of how to discover your true voice and some practice in making it a habit.
1. Your first step is to learn to breathe with the support of ... Views: 1781
When it comes to understanding what enmeshment is, it helps to look at what boundaries are. Boundaries are what create a sense of individuality between people. And although we are all physically separate, it does not mean that we are emotionally separate from another person.
This becomes what ... Views: 23825
Jake is an atheist; Stacy is a devout Christian.
Bill loves to spend; Cristy loves to save.
Victor loves a vacation out in the woods, camping in a tent; Amy prefers a nice condo on the beach.
Steve gets up at 6:00 am in the morning; Megan believes the day should start around 10 ... Views: 1280
Every intimate relationship goes through cycles—whether new or old—and one thing is certain: There always will be change involved in the process. It all comes down to how we handle change and the kind of energy that we want to create in a relationship with our partner. It is easy to get caught ... Views: 1330
Dear Dad:
Bendicion! I have heard that we all have guardian angels that bless our lives and watch over us. However, I feel fortunate that my angel has been with me in a physical reality, since my guardian angel has been you. I feel extremely grateful and blessed to have you in my life. You ... Views: 1166
My editor Brenda who helped me edit my book out of her gratitude for the advice I have given him in the past dealing with her own emotionally unavailable man, told everyone how profoundly transformational my book is. She thinks this book is an excellent rebuttal that every woman should read to ... Views: 12097
How does a man get over a divorce or a relationship that had run its course? Other than one’s friends or the bars where can a man turn to get support or the needed help to just talk and figure out how to get back on the road to self confidence and feel good about himself again?
A friend of ... Views: 1394
Is it beauty, booty and brains? Ready, willing and able? Sexy, sweet and hard to get? What is the magic combination of ingredients men look for in a woman?
Certainly all of the stereotypical traits are on most men’s wish lists, but once you break through the initial barrier and get his ... Views: 11762
No surprise to any woman to hear that we are wired differently than men. We approach life differently and we remember events differently.
As a broad brush statement, men compartmentalize their memory of events and the emotions. As women, we are wired to tie our emotions around each ... Views: 1596
Dear Dr. Romance:
How do I make him understand? So my soon-to-be-ex is still in the house as well as myself! This is not working! He keeps trying to make things better, but I don't feel anything for him anymore. He has been better to me but is still very rude to our son and says hurtful ... Views: 1855
How to Get Your Husband to Love You Again; A good percentage of women in marriage ask why doesn't my husband love me when facing marriage stress and they have to fix it asking how can I get my husband to love me. With Psychological tips you can find out how to love your husband, and get answers ... Views: 1332
While a certain amount of approval seeking is part of relationships; when it is out of control and taken to the extreme, it can create dysfunctional consequences and unnecessary pain.
And when this happens, a man’s mental and emotional wellbeing is going to suffer. However, in order for a man ... Views: 11914
Here's a basic layout of why this happens from first date to when the men drift and seem like there interest in you has disappeared. It is quite simple really, but can be something that you overlook, or just don't understand this basic fact...
Why He Pulls Away: Common Facts
Right from the ... Views: 3556
After a relationship ends, women ask what went wrong, again and again. In this revealing article we see that often it has nothing to do with the woman. The article explores some patterns and needs that cause men to run from relationships. It also offers specific guidelines and advice to help. ... Views: 7872
Quite a number of young women don't even have a notion about how to get a guy back after he has lost his affection for them. They just about consistently go about it the wrong way! Happily, there's truly an easy fix to the situation!
Girls, does this sound somewhat familiar to you? You happen ... Views: 5158
Freedom, separation, aggression, conquest, goal seeking and sex are the basic nature of testosterone. You’ve seen how many wars and conquests have been waged by men since the beginning of time. That’s the side effect of testosterone.
It has also contributed to so much magnificence in the ... Views: 18695
Men have a love-hate relationship with their mothers. They love their moms to death, yet they loath the feeling of being mothered (i.e. being told what to do/not to do). Now they are adults and live on their own, they don't need another woman -and much younger at that- replacing their mother's ... Views: 12362
The key of dating an emotionally unavailable man who wants to take things slow is to let him set the pace. Expect that he will go hot and cold. Mirror him in everything he does. When he's hot, reciprocate that, this is your time to establish bonding. When he's cold, also keep a distance. ... Views: 32625
We just finished another bootcamp for men in Chicago and are about to head to New York City for another one for men this friday-saturday, and I have to tell you how one thing strikes me: so often, men think that they have to be perfect in so many ways - perfect at their dating skills, finding ... Views: 4308
Dear Dr. Romance:
Thank you for writing "Lighten Up - Cures for Marital Boredom." Please allow me to give my opinion as to my priorities. I always had the idea to start from the bottom of your list and go upwards. Work together to create a partnership. Sex is important in life, but not number ... Views: 1980
How many times have you heard this when you ask someone how they’re doing: “I’m FINE! And you?”…and, you simply KNEW that you were being fed a line of hooey? How often has that happened to you with men as opposed to women? Perhaps, in these times, it’s an even more important question to ask, ... Views: 1789
Breakups hurt as anyone going through one will attest to. Some people feel sad for a while, change some routines in their lives, reconnect with friends, and bounce back rather swiftly. Others, however, become entrenched in insurmountable sadness and gut wrenching grief. Why is it that some have ... Views: 3356
Ever had that daunting experience of losing your partner because you feel even a smidge of distance growing between you two? If so, you’re not alone. Countless women experience this everyday in their relationships, especially when they think the relationship is going so well.
Are men just ... Views: 6223
So, you’re looking for a deeper, sexier speaking voice but you’ve got a nasal twang. Does this mean that you’re stuck with a high-pitched voice? No. Is it possible to have a better sound? You bet!
Most people are not speaking at their optimum pitch or within their optimum range. The ... Views: 2188
The divide between boy-thinking and mature male thinking is deep but narrow. Learn how destructive behavior can be turned to the power to build a career, a romance, and a life...
Many of you have discovered the unprecedented value in the entirely FREE, Do It Yourself Dating and Attraction ... Views: 3173