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Shela Dean JD

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Relationship, Marriage & Intimacy Expert

Shela Dean Quick Facts

Main Areas: Relationships, Marriage & Intimacy
Best Sellers: Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy
Career Focus: Author, Speaker, Relationship Coach

My interest in relationships began during my 20+ year career as an estate and family attorney. I had long-term, very close working relationships with many of my clients. As part of my practice I found myself faced with a myriad of issues having to do not just with legal matters but also with how couples relate to each other. I saw the impact of both big and small issues on relationships; everythng from birth and death, addiciton infidelity, illness and divorce, to who put the dent in the car or burned the toast that morning.

I felt I needed to understand the dynamics of relationships. I studied everything I could get my hands on to become an expert. Before long, I was counseling my clients on personal matters as well as on legal matters.

My first book, Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy, combines my personal marriage experience with the wisdom gained from those 20 years of practice. It all began over morning coffee and cinnamon-toast when I explained to my husband Dale the effect his being late had on me. Putting it in a context that would get his attention — sex — I pointed my butter knife at him for emphasis, smiled sweetly, and said.

“Sweetheart, you need to know something about being in a relationship: foreplay is all day every day, 24/7. It includes anything and everything that affects how I feel about you. So here's an idea for you. Try racking up Frequent Foreplay Miles by being on time. The more miles you rack up, the more 'in the mood' I'll be."

We laughed, but it got his attention. We soon realized that the simple idea expressed in our morning's playful exchange had legs and it became our philosophy to earn as many and lose as few Frequent Foreplay Miles as possible. We put our philosophy to use and became the envy of every couple. When hard times and challenges came our way, survivial was possible because we had early on made Frequent Foreplay Miles the strongest thread in the fabric of our relationship. We credit that philosophy as the reason we survived and emerged as a stronger and happier couple.

I am now devoted to showing all couples how to have more Wow! in their relationship--in and out of the bedroom, and how to turn everyday stuff--from a trip to the grocery store to an uh-oh situation--into an opportunity to rack up Frequent Foreplay Miles. And much more.

Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from Shela Dean

"A successful marriage means falling in love many times. Always with the same person." -Mignon McLaughlin

As parents, the best thing you can do for your children is to love each other in their presence.

"Small moments? It's often those little gestures -- a knowing look, a pat on the back, an unexpected kindness -- that make a big impression and shape our favorite memories." - Tim Russert

"The success of marriage comes not in finding the "right" person, but in the abililty of both partners to adjust to the real person they inevitably realize they married." — John Fischer

"Marriage is not just spiritual commmunion; it's also remembering to take out the trash." - Joyce Brothers

"Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side." - Zig Ziglar

Do something to make your sweetheart's day better. Guess what? Your acts of kindness make your day better, too.

Spontaneous fun is a shot in the arm for any relationship. Be open to unpredictable, surprise delights.

Emotional intimacy grows with mutual vulnerability. Share an innermost thought with your sweetheart today.

Mark Twain said, “I can live a whole month on one compliment.” Imagine how your relationship would thrive with a regular diet of “you’re the best!”

Most failed relationships suffer death by a thousand cuts. The small things count. Big time.

Laughter. It's great for your relationship. Share some with your sweetie today and every day.

Getting Started With Shela Dean

Visit my site ShelaDean.com to learn about my Relationship Coaching services and SpeakerShelaDean.com to learn about my Keynote Speech Presentations. Also visit www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com to get free relationship advice and learn more about my book, Frequent Foreplay Miles -Your Ticket to Total Intimacy.