Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D. Licensened Family Psychologist, Medicare provider

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"You want your marriage better. So do I. I can show you how." Couples and Marriage Expert

Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D. Quick Facts

Main Areas: Couples and Marriage Counseling/Coaching
Best Sellers: New Rules For Realtionships and Modern Marriage: Love Is Not Enough
Career Focus: Licensed psychologist, KS
Affiliation: Medicare Provider

Dr. Paul W. Anderson works with people to make things better. You want solutions so you can feel better and get back the fun in living, at least more often. His counseling/coaching style goes right to the point of helping you look more calmly and thoughtfully at options that will bring you relief. That's the benefit of a good coach who can stay objective, yet empathetic with you about the situations you deal with. Your life was not meant to be a struggle.

Favorite Quotes & Thoughts from Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D.

What’s A Counselor For, If Not A Companion To Be?

Many people want to know what is counseling? “What should I expect?” How does it work?” “What makes a good counselor? I’ve never done counseling before.” These are some of the good questions I hear regularly.

My best answer is: “A counselor is a companion.” This is someone who walks along side another person as that person make’s a passage or transition. A companion is not judgmental or critical. They may at times challenge the other person’s thinking or actions, but they are equally quick to know when to offer comfort.

A companion may help to clarify choices and the possible consequences of each option, but they do not make those choices or decisions for the one they companion. And when the suffering is high or the sorrow deep, the companion stays steady, available and objective with their client.

A good companion understands that every trail a person endures has a purpose, some gift of learning or teaching the person’s has come to this point in their life to receive. The companion see clients as courageous and brave knowing full well that the client always has the right to reject or postpone the learning with denial, avoidance, repression or blaming others. There is never ridicule or berating from the companion, but encouragement to keep going and make choices for action when the client is ready.

Counseling is not for everyone. There are many ways to solve problems, make changes or get through tough times. If you do decide to use the services of a professional companion, make sure you have confidence and comfort with the counselor you chose that they will honor you and your process. This means they companion you, not try to change you. Until you are ready to change, enjoy the company of you companion.

Getting Started With Paul W. Anderson, Ph.D.

Same Old Thing

What’s old in the management of stress? The same thing as always: we don’t use what we know and could be using to handle daily living stressors.

A few facts to prove the point that stress is caustic to quality living and is not going to go away. These are as recent as 2004, according the American Psychological Association and the National Institute of Mental Health.

Stress is linked to the six leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver and suicide.
Seventy five (75) percent of visits to doctor’s offices concern stress-related ailments.
In a typical workplace with 20 employees, four will likely develop a mental illness in the year.
Nearly 15 percent of college students have been diagnosed with depression.

Two observations for your health: acknowledge you are not immune to stress. Accept it. Secondly, practice mindful stress reduction. Build at least five management activities into your daily life.

To get a read on your current level of stress take the Holmes Stress Assessment Test. Quick and easy with results instantly available online, no charge!

Next, do something to reduce and manage stress, anything. Okay, so you can’t/won’t start doing five things daily. Do this one thing, the best thing: breathe deeper. If you smell the roses or any flower for that matter, you breathe deeper than usual. If you laugh, you breathe deeper than usual. If you cry, yell, run, hit something, cheer at a sporting event you will inhale and exhale with more volume. That’s the point, get the oxygen flowing.

Counseling helps reduce stress because it gets things off your chest. Even maybe things you don’t want to talk to your spouse about. So you get a counselor, talk a few things through and that makes you a calmer person for your partner to be around. Makes sense.

Of course there are other more conscious and mindful ways to breathe deeper: yoga, meditation, walking, playing with children and dogs, sitting up straighter and deliberately inhaling, or taking breathing lessons as in qui kong or voice lessons.

You choose, but please do choose something for your stress reduction. Then, there will be something new in your life regarding stress management. Call me: 913-991-2302. I"m happy to talk.