Jan Luther EFT Master

Jan Luther, EFT Master & Grief Recovery Expert Expert

I've received many gifts in my life, but one has had a very profound effect on me. It is a one-inch square card with a quote from Maya Angelou on it: “I can be changed by what happens to me. But, I refuse to be reduced by it.” This little card lives front and center on my desk. I still read it every day. That quote has bolstered my resolve to remember that no matter what my life experiences are, I always have a choice about how I respond to them. So do you!

My Story I was well on my way to living my dreams when one August morning in 2006 I was awakened at 3:30 in the morning by a phone call. A State Patrolman was telling me that my son had been in a car accident and that I needed to get to the hospital as soon as I could. My husband and I, dazed and frightened, hustled our way to the emergency room. We were met at the door by a State Trooper who reluctantly handed me a tiny little zippered pouch as he said “I am sorry, your son didn’t make it.” Time stopped. I was staring at the tassel on the patrolman’s hat. I could sense my husband standing beside me. It felt like I couldn’t suck in any air. My mind went blank. The male nurse said “I need someone to identify the body.” My husband said, “I will do it.” I mumbled, “No, WE will do it.” (You can read more about my personal experience of coping during those first few days in my book, “Grief Is…Mourning Sickness.”) Over the next year, I met my EGO morning, noon and night. It was all out war. At times, I literally thought I was losing my mind. My EGO would push me into denial thinking, “Why is this happening to me? I love God. I have been a servant of humanity. I am honest, hard working, love my husband and my children. What did I do to deserve this?” Oh, that EGO is clever. Using all my “good” qualities to try and convince me that I should be exempt from life experiences. As you might imagine, there was very little sleeping. My EGO gave me every reason to be filled with hate and anger at God and my family; at life. It wanted me to give up. At times, the physical pain was more than I thought I could bear. I had to quickly increase my EGO Taming tactics. Resisting EGO when you are exhausted, depressed and you are aching – body and soul – takes sheer determination. One thing I learned that was extremely helpful was to treat every EGO attack as a temptation. I became very good at talking with my EGO and gently inviting that angry, fearful voice to consider that I always had a choice. Whenever I would hear the EGO making a decision from pain or anger, I would simply ask myself, “How will I feel and what will I get if I choose one option over another?” For example: When someone would say something that hurt my feelings, I would ask myself: “Do I really believe that they are trying to hurt me? Can I imagine that they are trying to offer a word of encouragement? If I get angry and walk away or attack them, what will happen next? If I push them away, might I end up lonely and comfortless? Maybe when I am clearer, I can talk about what I WISH they would say or do instead of this.” Which will I choose? Attack them or forgive them and believe they are just trying to help? If I choose to not work with clients, what might I get? I might spend all day dwelling on my pain and feeling sorry for myself. If I do work with clients, maybe I can keep my energy up. I know tapping always makes me feel better. Don’t get me wrong. I gave myself time and permission to lie in the bed when appropriate. I created time and opportunities to get the anger and pain out with tapping, talking and screaming. And, yes, there was screaming; mostly when I was alone in my car at the cemetery. Some of you reading this know that sound. It is the most haunting, primal sound…it chills me to know those sounds came out of this body through this voice that has always been devoted to bringing peace and comfort to others. What I do know is this… There is another voice inside of us; the voice of our Soul or Authentic Self. That voice is connected to our God/Creator and that voice has wisdom and courage and insights for our life. That voice will answer when we call for help. In every moment of agony, we can be lifted, inspired and directed. The “peace that surpasses understanding” is always available, but the Spirit waits for us to ask for it. So, after living this and many other challenges and finding myself in a unique position to share the path to victory over EGO, I realized that it is my mission to teach others what I have learned about taming the EGO (or voice of the flesh). I know that voice would like to steal your sanity and it will rob you of your joy and cheat you out of your destiny if you do not take authority over it. I know that if I can tame my EGO – and I believe I have – we all can. Whether your primary frustration is with grief, your finances, relationships, self-esteem or coping with other types of trauma, loss and change, we have the tools and resources to help you tame your EGO.

I would love to hear from you. If you would like to contact me, please visit the Contact Us page on my website at JanLuther.com. Thanks!