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Let's face it. For a minute or two every little while, every one of us is someone else's idea of a 'difficult person'. OK, that's a given. There are, however, folks who make a lifestyle of being difficult. At ... Views: 5447
The Smile Sandwich is a positive way to give constructive criticism. Think about any smile you’ve ever seen. The happiest ones turn up at the ends, creating a “U” shape, right? That’s the “structure” of a smile sandwich. You start with something “up” (some positive observation about the person), ... Views: 831
Anytime people gather together, great things can happen…and, sometimes conflicts can happen, too. In the business arena, some conflicts seem huge and intractable. If they are handled well, with a visionary leader and a competent technical staff, differences can be hashed out and the ... Views: 5699
California construction contractors are in a profession that constantly remains in high demand. Because of the variety of projects that come their way and the often large scale makeup of many of them, it’s important that contractors have the proper contractor legal representation and are ... Views: 1159
Your employee Jill, is often late to work and leaves early. Her work is behind and other employees in the department seem to always be picking up the slack for her. Jill is polite and friendly and, while she's at work, seems to be concentrating. She rarely socializes with anyone at work, ... Views: 1185
How many times have you been in a situation with someone you know pretty well, maybe your spouse or your best friend, when you just couldn’t get through to them? For some reason beyond your understanding they just refuse to listen to what you are saying.
They argue, they say irrational ... Views: 4139
In a recent workshop, "Jane" asked about negativity in the workplace:
"Our work environment is so negative. It's like The Wave. One individual starts and then everybody joins in, including me some days. I want to stop. But when I don't engage, they all look at me like I'm "Miss Polly Positive" ... Views: 1114
"In between stimulus and response, there is a pause, and in that pause we have the opportunity to make a different choice."
~ Victor Frankl
Reading a blog post recently by my friend and colleague, Judy Warner, I was inspired.
Although I teach aikido techniques like the practice of centering ... Views: 1251
"We give ourselves the best opportunity to make clear-minded decisions only to the extent that our hearts are at peace." -- The Anatomy of Peace
Choosing to resolve conflict begins when we approach it with a "Heart at Peace." So opens a new book I just finished, The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving ... Views: 2740
In my practice I find over and over again that people are afraid of conflict. So much so, that when someone does something that goes up their proverbial nose, they don’t say anything, withdraw, count to ten, get over it, or just ignore what just happened. Of course, conflict that is not ... Views: 988
I've been thinking a lot lately about why we fear our more serious conflict conversations, why we put them off or hold them in unconstructive ways.
I had one of my own recently and was really quite uncentered for a bit, thinking about how I wanted to hold the conversation, what my positive ... Views: 1239
What happens if you're in a conversation or a conflict and the other person is out of control? How do you manage their strong emotional energy, especially when it's forcefully directed at you?
It takes courage to engage in conflict conversations, especially if prior experience produced outcomes ... Views: 1914
Don't let anyone tell you different: The labels we apply to people have a direct impact on the way we interact with them, and the way we interact with them determines how they react to us and what results we get with them.
When people label others as ‘toxic,’ they may disempower themselves and ... Views: 2678
One of the questions I receive most often from my newsletter subscribers is what do I do when I've "blown it?" As one good friend said: "I forgot all the great ways I know to address a conflict. I reprimanded an employee by basically attacking her character. I did apologize, and, thankfully, she ... Views: 990
One of the things that interests me most about conflict is the tendency to resist it and the ways in which this resistance causes me to miss a ki moment - a key moment, when I might respond with purpose and intention but do not. Resistance is a reactive habit. When I resist, I'm on automatic, ... Views: 922
Does conflict disrupt your workplace environment? Read on! Judy Ringer answers some commonly asked questions on the subjects of workplace conflict, difficult people, and how to manage them more effectively.
Q. What are some typical breakdowns in the workplace?
JR: I wouldn’t call them ... Views: 1210
A friend told me about a conflict she was having with her next door neighbor.
Due to a misunderstanding the neighbor was pretty upset, so much so that when they passed on the street and my friend said hello and reached out to shake his hand, he withdrew it, avoided eye contact, muttered a ... Views: 783
Work sucks, but then again, maybe it’s your attitude.
And, maybe the people at work really do suck, but in the meantime there are some easy things you can do to ease the tension.
Keep in mind, you cannot change other people, but you can change your attitude.
Let me give you an incredible ... Views: 1046
All too often organizations cry out for what I call the quick fix. You know the scenario: two employees not getting along, probably personality differences, not real receptive to previous internal interventions, etc., so the organization decides to bring in outside help to fix the problem. ... Views: 3621
Managing conflict with coworkers doesn’t have to be difficult. Below are eight simple rules that should both help you deal with conflict and improve your relationships at work.
Rule 1: See conflict as an opportunity
Your perception of conflict has a direct impact on how it plays out in your ... Views: 3709
By preparing appropriately and confronting honestly, you take more control over your professional destiny and demonstrate a rare leadership quality.
Art was 58 years old when he realized that his company may have passed him by. He had been with the same employer for 35 years. Art still loved ... Views: 1318
If you've ever been in a serious, committed relationship, you know that there will be stressful moments. Whether it's "Honey, you never do the dishes!" or "Why do I always have to walk the dog?" - there's bound to be a time when the two of you don't click perfectly. Don't worry - it's natural to ... Views: 1292
Crises continue to be in our newspaper headlines and the lead stories on radio and television broadcasts. And crises continue to affect businesses in many forms and continue to occur without notice. But what’s happening where we work in response to this continuing trend of crises? Are ... Views: 2245
Conflict is inevitable. It is proof that we are all unique individuals with distinctive values, opinions and perceptions.
Conflict can be both a positive driver and a counterproductive force in the workplace. Unresolved conflicts can sabotage the effective functioning of any organization, and ... Views: 1519
Have you been taught to believe the myth that some human emotions are "positive" and others "negative"? If someone asked you to name "negative" emotions, which ones come to mind? Terror? Disgust? Rage? Jealousy? Envy? Shame? Guilt?
EVERY EMOTION IS USEFUL!
Try the idea that every one of ... Views: 4500
Treatment works. However, getting the individual to treatment is easier said than done. The exact nature of their problem may not be readily identifiable and those who could help are too close to the problem to be helpful. Family members, corporate colleagues and most clergy are not in the ... Views: 2151
What would it take to end war? That was a question I was asked yesterday by a close friend. I think it was intended to be politically inclined, but my answer stunned the listeners.
Simply lay down the guns and go home to your families.
War and other imbalances in the human living ... Views: 1274
Do you have a problem with emotional insecurity? Do insulting remarks bother you? We will discuss ways to positively deal with those who try to insult you.
Display your sense of humor when someone hurls a nasty remark at you. If you laugh when someone tries to insult you, you will feel better ... Views: 5879
In my private practice, I often see the damaging effects of unbridled anger on relationships. And, men don't have the corner on this market either - plenty of women do their fair share of harm through fiery tempers and uncensored words. So, what are some suggestions for couples who continue to ... Views: 1004
Want an authentic relationship full of truth and humor? Read on…
My husband Murray and I both listened to the call of our Muses eight years ago and quit our secure jobs to follow our dreams. I had two children in college and a tenured job with a school district, but I knew my body and soul ... Views: 1230
If you're active in real estate investing, you may already realize one of the biggest issues real estate investors face: Finding Great Deals.
Foreclosures at a 52-year High
With foreclosures at a 52-year high, there are thousands of deals available on the market, if you know where to find ... Views: 1265
(....or why conflict avoidance, under the guise of tolerance, can be a dangerous thing.)
I was once asked to support a man who had been sent to prison for carrying out a violent attack on his neighbour. He was referred to me to see if I could help him with what was considered to be some ... Views: 1575
All homebuyers want as much house for their money as they can get. Many buyers are looking for a larger home because they've outgrown their current one, and especially desire more closet and cupboard space as well as larger rooms.
Visual space makes your home appear larger by allowing the ... Views: 999
Perception is everything because as we perceive, so it becomes. Perception is the single most important factor in starting or resolving conflicts. The devious axis of the world that have mastered the art of divisiveness, utilize this aspect of human nature to divide and conquer. Although it is ... Views: 1910
Conflict Resolution in the Bird World
(or how to find a win/win solution with someone who seems to be a bully.)
I usually spend some of the Christmas period at my parental home in Surrey, South East England. Outside the kitchen window there is a bird feeder suspended from an apple tree. One ... Views: 1206
"I just let him handle things his way."
"We're not very good at resolving problems, so I let it go."
"I just hate confrontation!"
Listening, talking, communicating, resolving problems, making joint decisions... these are requirements for all business owners, not just entrepreneurial couples. ... Views: 2091
THE REAL SOURCE OF CONFLICT WITHIN ANY CONFLICT
By
William Cottringer, Ph.D.
“Differences in thinking about problems and solutions cause great conflicts; but the way we communicate about these differences is the source of continuing the conflict.” ~ The author.
Conflicts are a frequent ... Views: 1045
I once read “Virtually every true conversation (the honest exchange of thought) can lead to conflict!” At first I took exception to this statement; however I have come to believe that the words are right on target.
Carl Rogers said: "Our first reaction to most statements is an ... Views: 1447
Conflict is present in all intimate relationships. Whether conflict is resolved constructively or acted out destructively is what determines its impact on the relationship. The following suggestions are designed to help couples resolve conflict by teaching them how to fight fairly.
• ... Views: 1370
What we extend outward toward others, we internalize. Whether the emotions we extend are negative, such as hatred, animosity, and anger; or positive, such as love, forgiveness, and peace, these feelings seep inside of us and affect us deeply.
You can feel the physical difference between, on one ... Views: 993
Conflict is part and parcel of life and conflicts do occur in every organization or between and among organizations. To effectively and constructively deal with conflicts people need to understand the dynamics of conflicts and the strategies for effectively dealing with them. An understanding of ... Views: 2547
It's the most wonderful time of the year... Or so they say.
While the end of year holidays are supposed to be a time of peace, love, and joy, it often turns out to be a time of stress, depression and worry -- especially as people struggle to create some "holiday magic" for their friends and ... Views: 3207
Once an argument has been settled, it's human nature to tuck it away in the back of your mind so you never have to revisit it again. After all, why would you want to stir up all those negative feelings associated with the argument? It's easy to think that only a glutton for punishment would do ... Views: 1041
Few of us look forward to confrontation. When we have “issues” with someone our energy has become strained or “jammed up.” We often feel the energy between us and this person has become a battleground and confronting them feels like we’re heading into battle. And ... Views: 1108
Gentleness and Humility are important doorways to Peace and to the support of Peace. Gentleness must be conveyed in every area of life to antidote the violence of judgement with others and within. It arises from Humility, a remembrance of the vastness of life’s mysterious context and ... Views: 2132