When we speak of love, we think of others and what they mean to us; we think of those we love. We do not, however, delve into what we think of ourselves and if we love the most important person to us, ourselves. Love, when given to ourselves, has the power to erase doubt, self-loathing, discrimination, and any hurtful feelings we may feel. It erases the negative ways we see ourselves, and it also alleviates that feeling that no one cares or that we are alone. For when we love ourselves unconditionally, we are complete; we do not need others to fill this void. That is why we try so hard to find a stable relationship. not only do we want companionship, but we are trying to ease that feeling that we lost because we have lost the ability to love ourselves unconditionally. This may seem silly, but it is at the root of so many problems most people have.

Insecurity stems from not only a lack of belief in oneself, but also a lack love towards ourselves. The way we see ourselves as having a lack of worth or putting ourselves down stems from not loving ourselves. It can be a very powerful tool to simply say to oneself, I love you. It has an immediate healing affect, one overlooked in today’s society. How often do you tell yourself, if only? If only I could just change, when I am this, or when I do this, then I will love me. How often have you said to yourself, I love you right now, exactly the way you are? It gives a sense of relief, that okay, that I am good enough as I am right now. And then a loss of insecurity and self-judgment can truly happen. The release of the tension directed at oneself to be more, do more, and achieve more can also happen.

Because we do all these things for ourselves, if the desire stems from a place of self-acceptance, then it will feel good to us. When we say to ourselves that we are loved, that the love we crave is given to ourselves by us, it gives us a sense of peace. No longer do we have to find it in such a hurry somewhere else; we can feel it now. We don't have to be in search of a relationship to satisfy this need. Loving oneself as we are right now enables us to be okay right now, without needing someone else to fill that void. Relationships are wonderful, but not necessary, love is.

Love given to oneself is a gift that we shouldn't overlook. When we were young, we knew this, thought this; we didn't think otherwise. It was only as we got older that we stopped seeing ourselves this way. Whether we were talked out of it or simply realized for some reason that we weren't good enough, we then stopped loving ourselves. It is time to take it back, to be strong in the realization that we matter, that we can love who we are. Before you seek love from somewhere else, tell yourself daily that you love who you are, what you are, and where you are. Let go of the negative banter we so often direct at ourselves and replace it with love. Over time, the negative will be outweighed by the positive, and this has a direct effect on your well-being. Simply by replacing the negative thoughts directed at oneself with thoughts of love, you are empowering and healing who you are. When we love ourselves, all things flow together, life becomes easier, and love from others is easier to find. For we are fulfilled inwardly first, we have found what we needed, and any extra will become wonderful, but not absolutely necessary to us. Love then is the key to letting go and being okay, to feeling that sense of stability within and finding the peace we all seek.

Author's Bio: 

Find your true self and learn how to truly be in the moment at Answers in Writing.

Adam Benedetto and Zoe Young are both dedicated to enabling others to reach their full potential in life, to help others release what is holding them back, and to find their true selves. Through years of experience and development, both have sought out the answers we all need to find peace, understand ourselves, and reach enlightenment.