$$$ When you started with love don’t let it go!
Seen around the world of mine, there are people very happy in their relationship at the same time very frustrated with their relationship too. I feel very sad, when I see such people who are frustrated with their relationship and by their act and behavior further ruining it. Especially when I see there is no solid reason for them to be in such state of their relationship. If counseled properly, they can be very happy couples.
Most of the cases, I have seen has actually started with love at the very first stage. Later on they are not able to manage their clashing egos and letting them overrule all the happiness moments and converts it to bitterness.
One very common reason for such cases is they have lost faith on each other. When I talk about faith, it is plain faith which is related to everything what other person says or does. When looked carefully one can see a deep root of love is still alive among them but they are not able to realize it and have in tern lost their self believe also.
By seeing such relationships, I fell very sad and urge comes to act on their relationship and resolve it to goodness. But, being no formal authority in this area professionally and personally for them, I end up observing and letting it ruined further.
In general, the solution comes to my mind for such relationships have few steps that can be followed for better results.
Very first one is, Stop looking at each other’s faults and stop expecting from each other. Instead start believing yourself and realizing your potential for love and relationship and intern happiness in life. Once, as an individual identity you are more confident about yourself and your acts and decisions think what bad part of your habits and actions is. Analyze it more objectively towards your relationship. If possible take a small break from your relationship and get separated physically for small duration, with a promise and vision to get back with stronger relationship later. This entire exercise will give ample space and reasons to each one of you to rethink about your positive and negative traits towards relationship and give you a clear picture of its future, which I am sure will be positive one, if you both are genuine and honest to yourself , at least.
The second step in this line comes after you have analyzed yourself. Now look at other person’s viewpoint. See from where that person is coming from in terms of his/her behavior, actions and attitude towards things. Respect their identity and their world of living, their thoughts and try to understand them more deeply. This may start with all negative feelings and findings, but try to restrain yourself from negativity trap. See how results will be very positive.
The next step can be encounter and discussion. It is always better to take a scientific approach. Come out with your points in writing and seek for other person’s view point and better solution for the point of conflict. Start with ones, which are not of very critical for either of you or both of you. You will start with positive and cooperative environment.
For all critical points, where there might not be any solution immediately. Keep it into open Items to be discussed later on. Be optimistic, about positive overall outcome and a win-win situation for both of you.
If feel any need, involve someone (Friend, relative or well-wisher for yours, who is not biased.), who can help in this process of encounter. This will help you follow the process more objectively, which very important for quicker and better results.
Now the final stage of decision and results comes. Do not jump to this stage in any hurry. Give at least 4-5 Iterations to each of previous stages, for getting better results and then come to this stage with more logical and analyzed data from previous stage. Thing and reserve your decisions/findings separately and make this formal (written). Then review it at least 5 times for 5 different days and moods of yours (You can judge it). Then come together and share your decisions/inclinations and try to agree for final solution.
Do not worry, if solution is not positive to your relationship; believe me it is best and very useful for your happiness and better future.
“Wo afsana Jise anjam tak lana na ho mumkin, use eak khoobsurat mod par chodna achchha.”
Means something like this ...
“The story which is impossible to reach its conclusion naturally, conclude it with a positive note and happy feeling”
Prakash Binwal “Sharp”
Not professionally a relationship adviser. Have been a keen observer and started writing on this topic. First one for selfgrowth.
An engineer by profession, with strong customer relationship background.
A happy person in my relationships and valued for seeking guidance around my circle.
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