It is so easy to judge another person. We are conditioned to compare ourselves to others and therefore judge: are we better than them or are they better than us? What I discovered meeting hundreds of people is that we ALL have our difficult times.

Sometimes I had prejudged someone while I was in jail and when I started talking to them and getting to know more details about their lives, I realized I was wrong. Being in a situation where I was being judged so harshly by the legal system—knowing that I was not who they were saying I was—I understood that I could not judge others harshly because I certainly didn’t want someone (especially a judge) judging me too harshly either.

Criticism, gossip, and complaining come from judging too much. I learned not to let what others thought of me bother me. I had read in The Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer: “your opinion of me is none of my business.” This became one of my mantras so that I wouldn’t get upset over what others were thinking of me. I understood that everyone has a right to their opinion and that I do NOT have to be bothered by what others think. It is their deal, not mine.

I also learned to reinforce my belief in myself. If I didn’t do that, I would have been squashed like a bug due to the negative environment. I had to stop beating myself up, stop judging myself so harshly, and learned to love myself instead. There wasn’t anyone there that was going to do that for me.
As I did this, I began to understand that every person has their own journey with their own lessons. Who were we to judge someone else’s life? I realized that everyone is doing their best given where they are on their path and I needed to accept that, instead of thinking I was better than anyone else or judging them harshly.

When you realize that others are doing their best—given where they are in their lives—it becomes easier to forgive someone. You realize that they are not someone who is very connected or aware of their actions. The majority of people live their lives in a cloud of fog, not at all aware of how they are creating their lives. We only have responsibility for our own lives—no one else’s! With our children, we are responsible for them to a certain age and then we can guide them to the best of our ability but they have their own lessons to learn.

I read from many different types of sources that at the end of our lives, our souls do a life review. Instead of judging harshly, it is done with love and compassion and the soul is able to see the ramifications of how others felt due to their actions. There are ripple effects that we cannot see or feel, both negative and positive.

Why can’t we decide now, while we are living, to stop the negative ripples? One way is to stop judging everything so harshly and trying to see it from other perspectives. It’ll do the world some good!

Author's Bio: 

Karin Volo is an expert in career and personal development and is known as a Tough Transition Specialist and Dream Life Mentor. Working with entrepreneurs to international organizations, she has gained a broad business viewpoint and has helped hundreds of individuals discover their dream jobs. The common thread with her clients has been that they are experiencing a transition. Her clients say she is professional, inspiring, dedicated, efficient, persistent, and determined. Karin’s passion is helping people better their lives and her purpose is to inspire and teach others to thrive through tough times to discover and create their dream lives.

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