Do you ever wonder what is holding you back?
What keeps you from having better relationships?
What stops you from improving yourself?
What is blocking you from moving forward in your life?

As much as you may want to transform your life, there is also a pull to keep you where you are...comfortable and safe.

Bottom line...transformation is not easy.
It requires becoming uncomfortable. It requires taking control while letting go at the same time. It requires decision. It requires courage.

There are 4 toxic behaviors that will inevitably defend against your transformation and keep you stuck.

However, I guarantee that if you choose to shift them, you will save yourself a world of heartache in your relationships and in your own personal life.
Ready to find out what they are?

The 4 toxic behaviors are:

1. Blaming
Blame is the easiest way to deflect looking at yourself and put the responsibility for your unhappiness onto someone or something else.

2. Assuming
You've probably heard this one...ASSUME=making an Ass of U and Me. Ain't that the truth? This behavior has roots in arrogance, laziness, and fear.

3. Reacting
Acting based on an another act. This comes from not taking control of your own life and allowing something or someone else to determine your actions.

4. Complaining
Complaining is steeped in pity, negativity, and ungratefulness. Once allowed, it can take on a life of its own. (Plus, it's no fun to be around a complainer.)

What can you do instead?

1. Responsibility
Try taking responsibility instead of blaming. Be willing to humble out, look at the truth of yourself, and make changes that are necessary for growth and healing.

2. Curiosity
Curiosity can replace assumption. It opens up a world of possibilities rather than limiting everything to your story. Instead of assuming you know, you become curious to discover what is going on in a situation or with a person.

3. Proactivity
When you are proactive instead of reactive, you are in a position of creativity and responsibility. Instead of waiting for someone or something to react to, you take the initiative and use self-control to act from the best part of yourself.

4. Venting
Instead of complaining, release and move on. Tip: be careful who you allow to hear your vent. Sometimes it's best to just put it in your journal. :-)

If and when you notice yourself operating in the 4 toxic behaviors, implement the prescribed antidote in that very moment and watch what happens.
The more you practice these new behaviors, the more you will see movement and transformation in your circumstances, your relationships, and yourself.

Author's Bio: 

Belinda Lams is a Certified Life Coach. She is passionate about helping people clarify a compelling vision for their lives and then take the transformational steps to realize this vision everyday.

Her inspiration is to be an inspiration.

Utilizing her journey of brokenness and healing through the loss of her daughter to cancer, Belinda brings a unique and compassionate approach to life transitions; discovering life after death and loss, intentional living, practical tools, and living from your passion and purpose.

Through phone coaching, or home-study courses, Belinda capably and lovingly helps people to de-clutter and live on purpose. Her clients are empowered to exercise their power to make better choices and create their best life.

She was trained in the Co-Active Coaching Model and Reality Therapy Techniques through Refuah Institute in Jerusalem, Israel. She also studies Spiritual Formation and Moral Psychology with Rabbi Mordecai Finley of Ohr HaTorah in Los Angeles, CA.

Along with personal coaching, Belinda is available for speaking engagements and workshops.

Check out my self-coaching e-course Soul Activator: 90 Days to Kickstart Your Life from the Inside Out.

Visit or contact Belinda at