What are the ways to fall in love and stay in love? Couples counseling can help two people enjoy a healthy relationship. Start today with these ten direct and established things you can do now, or this week, to improve the dynamics of your intimate relationship. Isn’t it time you started feeling passionate about your partner to help your relationship?

1. Show your love and appreciation. You show your partner you care when you demonstrate that you adore and cherish them. Gifts? Small remembrances? Doing a small job for them? Don’t assume they remember from a few years a go what you said or did. Be creative, thoughtful, and bold for increased sexual intimacy.

2. Live in the moment, be present. Let your soul soar with what makes you happy, and laugh, enjoy pleasure, don’t take time for granted. Make more time to enjoy your vibrant energy through doing what you love, and then enjoy the moments of quiet, profound peace inside afterwards. Many call this mindfulness. Enhance your marriage, and remember you can also be more present with your self, as an adult. Individual and marital therapy can show you how.

3. Enjoy memories. Without believing you have to live in the past, reflect on the fun, joyful memories that have been created. Our feelings are connected with our thoughts, so when you remember the good times, the feelings can be recreated in our mind and body that we had with the experience.

4. Think about the future and offer your dreams. When you have a purpose that you love, don’t you have more energy? Set some goals, dreams, and hopes up so you can both work towards them. This can keep you from feeling stuck, unmotivated, and bland. Your heart, what you love, is a powerful motivator!

5. Love your partner for who THEY are. In the passionate stages of intimacy, didn’t we all believe the high energy would never stop? Then the differences began to emerge, and our romantic image of the other fades a bit. Remember to make a list of the many things (start with 50 and try for 100!) that are wonderful, great, and lovable in your mate, then show the list to them!

6. Try new things. We tend to love new adventures and experiences because we all love to expand our knowledge, skills, and capabilities. Confront the ruts that couples can get in to by learning something new. What about unusual classes, experiences, or trips?

7. Remember to have FUN. How do you like to laugh together? Can you find the humor in comedy clubs, funny books you read together, or new experiences? We all tend to get too serious as the years go on. What lightens you up? In couples counseling, learn how increasing your oxygen in your body can lead to more fun and better sex!

8. Find projects to work on together. When you become a team around some shared values, you can increase sexual intimacy and a bond that is very powerful. Work together on an important goal, and you will see the greatness in each other. Do you like helping your community, political movements, or the well-being of pets?

9. Don’t forget what really matters. The well being of your self, and the health of your intimate relationship, is what is important. The little voice inside us all may want us to go for instant gratification, yet try to remember what you found important as you age. What does long-term loyalty mean to you and your family? Look for ways that give you excitement right now AND caring, loving people in your life.

10. Be of service, and your heart will grow. It may seem weird that the person you have the most fights with can also be the one you love the most. Uncover ways, through relationship counseling, where you give to, care, and serve your intimate partner, instead of asking them to prop you up the way a parent would. They are not your parent, and you are not a child, so learn ways to love your partner by giving caring attention TO THEM for who they are. As you give more, the more you love being the best person you can be, without drawing attention to your self. Living life, being in love, becomes the way you ARE, rather than love being something you HAVE to get from outside your self, as your heart becomes more self-fulfilling, by loving well. You fall in love with a more truthful, realistic, alive, in the moment kind of love!

Author's Bio: 

Jim Bowen, MA, LPC has been assisting individuals and couples uncover aspects of what love is since 1992. Contact Jim for your free initial consultation on healthy relationship love at 303.534.8717 or at jimbowen@boulderdenvertherapy.com. Skype sessions are available, as are phone appointments. The offices are in Denver’s Larimer Square, and near 30th and Arapahoe in Boulder.