I wonder what would happen in your relationship, if each day you took a few minutes to consider what was awesome about your partner? Would that influence how you spoke to them? Or how you treated them? Or how you talked about them to others?

Neil Pasricha's insightful work, The Book Of Awesome, illustrates that noticing how awesome little things are can help to make us happier. What if you applied this principle in your relationship? What if you made a list of all the things you can think of that are awesome about your partner? And started sharing the things on the list with your partner. Think about the physical qualities your partner has that you admire. Think about the positive characteristics that they have. Consider the kind things they have done for you or for others. Think of some way in which they are simply amazing.

Have fun with it. Share frequently with your partner your observations of how and why they are awesome. These observations make sincere compliments. Giving such compliments will build your partner up and enlarge your heart as well. It is thinking about and behaving lovingly toward your partner that will increase your loving feelings for them. These small daily gestures will help knit you together and may also make your relationship more playful and fun.

It is those moments when we step back and notice our partner with fresh eyes that we feel most attracted to them. Pay attention to your partner when they are in their element. Notice their strengths and skills. Notice the little things like how effortlessly he ties his tie, notice her hair cut, how articulate she is, how his dimples show up when he smiles, how kissable her neck is, how classy or rugged he looks or whatever you notice and like about them.

Begin by being more tuned in to the small things about your partner that are awesome. Notice the things that they do that help make them awesome. Be willing to share what you notice with your partner. If your partner enjoys attention, be sure to occasionally mention their awesomeness to others. It is important to be sensitive to what feels good to your partner. If your partner is embarrassed by such attention and asks you not to draw attention to them in front of other, respect their request.

Pointing out your partner's awesomeness may encourage even more awesomeness. It may also encourage them to notice your awesomeness as well. However, it is important that you approach this experiment in the spirit of giving. Do not set yourself up for disappointment by giving compliments with the intention of getting compliments in return. That attitude will make your compliments seem less sincere and you may begin to switch your focus to "why am I not appreciated" and lose that sense of appreciation for your partner.

Experiment to see what happens inside of you as you pay more attention to how awesome your partner is and share your observations with them. Also notice how your relationship improves and happiness grows as you apply this principle.

Author's Bio: 

Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach

Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine