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Articles from Rick Hanson | Selfgrowth.com
- What Would Make a Difference Inside You? - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2016 from Rick HansonWe all have issues - including demands upon us, stresses, illnesses, losses, vulnerabilities, and pain. (As Alan Watts put it: "Life is wiggly.") Of course, many of our issues - in the broad sense I'm using the word here - are related to important sources of fulfillment, such as starting a ...
Views: 832 - How Do You Love? - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2016 from Rick HansonIn my early 20's, I went through Rolfing, a form of deep-tissue bodywork, and I nervously anticipated the 5th session, the one that goes deep into the belly. But instead of gobs of repressed emotional pain, what poured out was love - waves and waves of love that I'd pushed down due to ...
Views: 914 - What's Left Out? - by Submitted on Jun 14, 2016 from Rick HansonWhen I look back on mistakes I've made - like dumping my anger on someone, making assumptions in haste, partying too much, losing my nerve, being afraid to speak from my heart - in all cases a part of me had taken over. You know what I mean. The parts of us that have a partial view, are driven ...
Views: 1048 - What's in Your Mind? - by Submitted on Jun 06, 2016 from Rick HansonIt's kind of amazing: right now, what you think and feel, enjoy and suffer, is changing your brain. The brain is the organ that learns, designed by evolution to be changed by our experiences: what scientists call experience-dependent neuroplasticity. Neurons that fire together, wire together. ...
Views: 816 - Can You Stay Open To The Pain Of Others? - by Submitted on May 23, 2016 from Rick HansonHumans are an empathic, compassionate, and loving species, so it is natural to feel sad, worried, or fiery about the troubles and pain of other people. (And about those of cats and dogs and other animals, but I'll focus on human beings here.) Long ago, the Buddha spoke of the "first dart" of ...
Views: 1010 - Is Your Mind Wandering? - by Submitted on May 17, 2016 from Rick HansonMoment to moment, the flows of thoughts and feelings, sensations and desires, and conscious and unconscious processes sculpt your nervous system like water gradually carving furrows and eventually gullies on a hillside. Your brain is continually changing its structure. The only question is: Is ...
Views: 952 - What gets you stuck? - by Submitted on May 09, 2016 from Rick HansonHave you ever watched two people quarrel, or otherwise be stuck in a conflict with each other? Usually, if either or both of them simply acknowledged one or more things, that would end the fight. Recall a time someone mistreated you, let you down, dropped the ball, made an error, spoke ...
Views: 858 - Are You Stressed or Upset? - by Submitted on May 02, 2016 from Rick HansonThere I was recently, standing in the shower, my mind darting in different directions about projects in process, frazzled about little tasks backing up, uneasy about a tax record from 2010 we couldn't find, feeling irritated about being irritable, hurrying to get to work, body keyed up, internal ...
Views: 1004 - What Are Your Intentions Toward Others? - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2016 from Rick HansonBenevolence is a fancy word that means something simple: good intentions toward living beings, including oneself. This goodwill is present in warmth, friendliness, compassion, ordinary decency, fair play, kindness, altruism, generosity, and love. The benevolent heart leans toward others; it ...
Views: 943 - Who Are You, Deep Down? - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2016 from Rick HansonFor many of us, perhaps the hardest thing of all is to believe that "I am a good person." We can climb mountains, work hard, acquire many skills, act ethically - but truly feel that one is good deep down? Nah! We end up not feeling like a good person in a number of ways. For example, I once ...
Views: 848 - What Could You Offer? - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2016 from Rick HansonWhat could you offer? The Practice: Make the offering. Why? One of the strangest and most meaningful experiences of my life occurred when I going through Rolfing (ten brilliant sessions of deep-tissue bodywork) in my early 20's. The fifth session works on the stomach area, and I was ...
Views: 830 - What Happens When You Look At Someone? - by Submitted on Apr 04, 2016 from Rick HansonWhen we encounter someone, usually the mind automatically slots the person into a category: man, woman, your friend Tom, the kid next door, etc. Watch this happen in your own mind as you meet or talk with a co-worker, salesclerk, or family member. In effect, the mind summarizes and simplifies ...
Views: 878 - Where Do You Live? - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2016 from Rick HansonAs a kid, I was really out of touch with my body. I hardly noticed it most of the time, and when I did, I prodded it like a mule to do a better job of hauling "me" - the head - around. This approach helped me soldier through some tough times. But there were costs. Many pleasures were numbed, ...
Views: 901 - What's fundamental? - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2016 from Rick HansonIn middle school, I thought it would be cool to play a musical instrument, and picked the clarinet. My wise parents rented one rather than buying it, and I started practicing. (In the garage because it sounded pretty screechy.) After a week or two of doing scales, I got bored and picked my way ...
Views: 903 - Longing For Love? - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2016 from Rick HansonYour brain evolved in three stages (to simplify a complex process): Reptile - Brainstem, focused on avoiding harm Mammal - Limbic system, focused on approaching rewards Primate - Cortex, focused on attaching to "us" The first JOT in this series - pet the lizard - was about how to ...
Views: 880 - Which Wolf Do You Feed? - by Submitted on Mar 07, 2016 from Rick HansonI once heard a Native American teaching story in which an elder, a grandmother, was asked what she had done to become so happy, so wise, so loved and respected. She replied: "It's because I know that there are two wolves in my heart, a wolf of love and a wolf of hate. And I know that everything ...
Views: 856 - Feeling A Little Sour? - by Submitted on Feb 29, 2016 from Rick HansonTone matters. I remember times I felt frazzled or aggravated and then said something with an edge to it that just wasn't necessary or useful. Sometimes it was the words themselves: such as absolutes like "never" or always," or over-the-top phrases like "you're such a flake" or "that was ...
Views: 988 - Is It Truly Urgent? - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2016 from Rick HansonThings come at us with so much urgency and demand these days. Phones ring, texts buzz, emails pile up, new balls have to be juggled, work days lengthen and move into evenings and weekends, traffic gets denser, financial demands feel like a knife at the neck, ads and news clamor for attention, ...
Views: 896 - Got Cheese? - by Submitted on Feb 15, 2016 from Rick HansonAs the nervous system evolved, your brain developed in three stages: Reptile - Brainstem, focused on avoiding harm Mammal - Limbic system, focused on approaching rewards Primate - Cortex, focused on attaching to "us" Since the brain is integrated, avoiding, approaching, and attaching ...
Views: 970 - Down Deep, Do You Feel At Ease? - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2016 from Rick HansonI've always liked lizards. Growing up in the outskirts of Los Angeles, I played in the foothills near our home. Sometimes I'd catch a lizard and stroke its belly, so it would relax in my hands, seeming to feel at ease. In my early 20's, I found a lizard one chilly morning in the mountains. ...
Views: 1085 - Juggling Bricks? - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2016 from Rick HansonI had a lightbulb moment recently: I was feeling stressed about all the stuff I had to do (you probably know the feeling). After this went on for a while, I stepped back and kind of watched my mind, and could see that I was thinking of these various tasks as things, like big rocks that were ...
Views: 949 - What Matters Most To You? - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2016 from Rick HansonIn every life, reminders arrive about what's really important. I've recently received one myself, in a form that's already come to countless people and will come to countless more: news of a potentially serious health problem. My semi-annual dermatology mole check turned up a localized ...
Views: 910 - Are We Really So Separate? - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2016 from Rick HansonYour brain evolved in three stages (to simplify a complex process): Reptile - Brainstem, focused on AVOIDING harm Mammal - Limbic system, focused on APPROACHING rewards Primate - Cortex, focused on ATTACHING to "us" With a fun use (to me, at least) of animal themes, the first JOT in ...
Views: 1154 - Are You Full to the Rim? - by Submitted on Jan 11, 2016 from Rick HansonOnce upon a time, a scholar came to visit a saint. After the scholar had been orating and propounding for a while, the saint proposed some tea. She slowly filled the scholar's cup: gradually the tea rose to the very brim and began spilling over onto the table, yet she kept pouring and pouring. ...
Views: 1071 - Busy, Busy? - by Submitted on Jan 06, 2016 from Rick HansonThis practice is definitely a case of teaching what you need to learn: I've been working through a big bucket of tasks lately with little chance to rest. (I console myself with knowing that the bucket is emptying a lot faster than it's filling with new tasks.) Sometimes you can really feel ...
Views: 1121 - Are We There Yet? - by Submitted on Dec 28, 2015 from Rick HansonWe spend so much of our time trying to get somewhere. Part of this comes from our biological nature. To survive, animals - including us - have to be goal-directed, leaning into the future. It's certainly healthy to pursue wholesome aims, like paying the rent on time, raising children well, ...
Views: 1116 - What is Living You? - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2015 from Rick HansonIn every moment, you and I and everyone and everything else - from quantum foam to fleeting thoughts, intimate relationships, rainforest ecosystems, and the stars themselves - are each a kind of standing wave, like the ever-changing though persistent pattern of water rising above a boulder in a ...
Views: 826 - What's Your Own Role? - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2015 from Rick HansonIn situations or relationships with any kind of difficulty - tension, feeling hurt, conflicts, mismatches of wants . . . the usual crud - it's natural to focus on what others have done that's problematic. This could be useful for a while: it can energize you, bring insight into what the real ...
Views: 897 - Who are you prosecuting? - by Submitted on Dec 07, 2015 from Rick HansonLately I've been thinking about a kind of "case" that's been running in my mind about someone in my extended family. The case is a combination of feeling hurt and mistreated, critique of the other person, irritation with others who haven't supported me, views about what should happen that ...
Views: 889 - What Do Others Give You? - by Submitted on Nov 24, 2015 from Rick HansonEach Thanksgiving holiday, we are reminded to be thankful. When times are tough, finding reasons to be thankful may be challenging or even seem inappropriate or impossible. This year, before we sit around the dinner table, let's think about the myriad benefits to saying thanks, and how to truly ...
Views: 874 - What Do Their Faces Say To You? - by Submitted on Nov 16, 2015 from Rick HansonAs our ancestors evolved over millions of years in small bands, continually interacting and working with each other, it was vitally important to communicate in hundreds of ways each day. They shared information about external "carrots" and "sticks," and about their internal experience (e.g., ...
Views: 863 - What Do You Want? - by Submitted on Nov 09, 2015 from Rick HansonGetting caught up in wanting - wanting both to get what's pleasant and to avoid what's unpleasant - is a major source of suffering and harm for oneself and others. First, a lot of what we want to get comes with a big price tag - such as that second cupcake, constant stimulation via TV and ...
Views: 852 - Could it crack? - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2015 from Rick HansonThe truth of anything is like a mosaic with many tiles, many parts. One part of the truth of things is that they are robust and enduring, whether it's El Capitan in Yosemite or the love of a child for her mother and father. Another part of the truth is that things bruise, tear, erode, ...
Views: 1025 - Do you believe in love? - by Submitted on Oct 26, 2015 from Rick HansonTake a breath right now, and notice how abundant the air is, full of life-giving oxygen offered freely by trees and other green growing things. You can't see air, but it's always available for you. Love is a lot like the air. It may be hard to see - but it's in you and all around you. In ...
Views: 994 - Are You Feeling Unneeded Pain? - by Submitted on Oct 12, 2015 from Rick HansonPainful experiences range from subtle discomfort to extreme anguish - and there is a place for them. Sorrow can open the heart, anger can highlight injustices, fear can alert you to real threats, and remorse can help you take the high road next time. But is there really any shortage of ...
Views: 1006 - Who Do You Argue With? - by Submitted on Oct 05, 2015 from Rick HansonIt's one thing to stick up for yourself and others. But it's a different matter to get caught up in wrangles, contentiousness, squabbles . . . in a word: quarrels. Similarly, it's one thing to disagree with someone, even to the point of arguing - but it's a different matter to get so caught ...
Views: 795 - What's in Your Heart to Say? - by Submitted on Sep 28, 2015 from Rick HansonIt's been said that the most powerful tool for physical health is a fork (or spoon), since the choices you make with it determine the good or bad things you put into your body. In the same way, perhaps the most powerful tool for your mental health - and certainly for the health of your ...
Views: 798 - What Puts People at Ease? - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2015 from Rick HansonWe evolved to be afraid. The ancient ancestors that were casual and blithely hopeful, underestimating the risks around them - predators, loss of food, aggression from others of their kind - did not pass on their genes. But the ones that were nervous were very successful - and we are their ...
Views: 822 - What do you notice in people? - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2015 from Rick HansonMany interactions these days have a kind of bumper-car quality to them. At work, at home, on the telephone, via email: we sort of bounce off of each other while we exchange information, smile or frown, and move on. How often do we actually take the extra few seconds to get a sense of what's ...
Views: 823 - What Do You Need? - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2015 from Rick HansonI usually describe a practice as something to do: get on your own side, see the being behind the eyes, take in the good, etc. This practice is different: it's something to recognize. From this recognition, appropriate action will follow. Let me explain. Some years ago I was invited to give a ...
Views: 812 - What's weighing you down? - by Submitted on Aug 17, 2015 from Rick HansonOn the path of life, most of us are hauling way too much weight. What's in your own backpack? If you're like most of us, you've got too many items on each day's To Do list and too much stuff in the closet. Too many entanglements with other people. And too many "shoulds," worries, guilts, and ...
Views: 903 - Are some things getting better? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2015 from Rick HansonThere are always things that are getting worse. For example, over the past year, you probably know someone who has become unemployed or ill or both, and there's more carbon in the atmosphere inexorably heating up the planet. But if you don't recognize what's improving in your own life, then ...
Views: 1053 - What's Your Heart Saying? - by Submitted on Aug 03, 2015 from Rick HansonOne Christmas I hiked down into the Grand Canyon, whose bottom lay a vertical mile below the rim. Its walls were layered like a cake, and a foot-high stripe of red or gray rock indicated a million-plus years of erosion by the Colorado river. Think of water - so soft and gentle - gradually ...
Views: 838 - Why do we have cheerleaders? - by Submitted on Jul 27, 2015 from Rick HansonLet's say you've had an interesting idea or moment of inspiration, or thought of a new project, or felt some enthusiasm bubbling up inside you. Your notions are not fully formed and you're not really committed to them yet, but they have promise and you like them and are trying them on for size. ...
Views: 897 - What makes you feel threatened? - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2015 from Rick HansonOn a previous blog at the Huffington Post, I used the example of Stephen Colbert's satirical "March to Keep Fear Alive" as a timely illustration of a larger point: humans evolved to be fearful - since that helped keep our ancestors alive - so we are very vulnerable to being frightened and even ...
Views: 960 - What's The Most Important Thing? - by Submitted on Jul 06, 2015 from Rick HansonHave you heard this saying? The most important thing is to remember the most important thing. What are the most important things to you? In your life as a whole? During a particular interaction with someone? Right this minute? The most important things often get pushed to the sidelines. ...
Views: 937 - Are You Holding Onto Feeling Wronged? - by Submitted on Jun 29, 2015 from Rick HansonFirst, it has two distinct meanings: * To give up resentment or anger * To pardon an offense; to stop seeking punishment or recompense Here, I am going to focus on the first meaning, which is broad enough to include situations where you have not let someone off the hook morally or ...
Views: 1059(1 vote) - What is an open heart? - by Submitted on Jun 22, 2015 from Rick HansonWe all know people who are, ah, . . . challenging. It could be a critical parent, a bossy supervisor, a relative who has you walking on eggshells, a nice but flaky friend, a co-worker who just doesn't like you, a partner who won't keep his or her agreements, or a politician you dislike. Right ...
Views: 847 - How Do You Talk to People? - by Submitted on Jun 15, 2015 from Rick HansonWhen our kids were little, I'd come home from work wanting some peace after the daily roller-coaster and often walk into a living room full of stuff - toy trucks, tennis shoes, bags of chips, etc. Irritated, the first words out of my mouth to my wife would be: "How come there's all this mess?" ...
Views: 893 - Friend or Foe? - by Submitted on Jun 09, 2015 from Rick HansonFriendliness is a down-to-earth approach to others that is welcoming and positive. Think about a time when someone was friendly to you - maybe drawing you into a gathering, saying hello on the sidewalk, or smiling from across the room. How did that make you feel? Probably more included, ...
Views: 947