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Articles from Leslie Cane | Selfgrowth.com
- Tips For Working On Yourself During A Separation: How To Find Yourself And Get Your Life (And Husband) Back - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen many of us have been in a relationship as important as our marriage, we can begin to define ourselves by it, at least in part. We come to identify ourselves as a wife, or as part of a family. So when that coupling is questioned or is paused, it can literally feel as if we have lost a part ...
Views: 516 - My Husband Doesn't Believe We Were Ever Really In Love With Each Other: Apparently, He's Never Loved Me And Wants To Separate. - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are struggling with the reasoning that their husband is using for pursuing distance, a break, or a marital separation. Sometimes, the husband will try to tell the wife that the feelings are no longer there, if they were ever there in the first place. This can be ...
Views: 499 - My Husband Says He Loves Me But He's Leaving Because He Wants Time Away From Me - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from wives who are dealing with a husband who is expressing his unhappiness with their marriage. Sometimes, he even takes this a step further and begins to speak of a separation or divorce. At that point, the wife will ask questions to determine why he might be doing this. One ...
Views: 644 - How To Know If Your Husband Stopped Loving You: Signs of a Husband Who is Falling Out of Love - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of emails and correspondence from women who are afraid that their husband is "falling out of love" with them. People often ask me for signs, signals, or clues to look for which might indicate that this is true. They are trying to match the behavior that they are seeing with behaviors ...
Views: 708 - My Marriage Is Dead. How Do I Know If I Need To Leave My Failing Marriage And Move On? Here's Some Questions To Ask Yourself - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneSome spouses feel as though they might be at crossroads in their marriage. They typically aren't quite as happy as they might like, or they are experiencing problems within the marriage that are causing a great deal of stress. Because of this, they wonder if it is time to just let their ...
Views: 617 - How To Survive An Unloving Marriage: Strategies That Might Help Even If Your Spouse Is Sarcastic, Critical, And Nasty - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneI heard from a wife who was seemingly at the end of her rope. She described her marriage as "unloving" and said that very recently, there had begun to be a lot of tension in their home. When the affection started to wane, she didn't worry too much about it because she knew that it could be ...
Views: 482 - Is It My Job To Make My Husband Happy? Am I Responsible For It? Is It My Fault If He's Unhappy? - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneSo often, I hear from people who tell me that either their spouse is blatantly telling them that he just isn't happy or his actions have made this so obvious that it is just impossible to ignore. Many of these folks feel that this is a little unfair because not everything that their spouse is ...
Views: 497 - My Husband Is An Unhappy Person. No Matter What I Do, He Won't Stop Complaining About Our Marriage. Tips That Might Help - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt can be very hurtful and frustrating when your spouse constantly complains about a certain level of unhappiness despite improvements that you've tried to make. You might think that you've addressed his concerns, only to turn around and find that he is sullen and unhappy again. It can begin ...
Views: 502 - My Husband Doesn't Meet My Emotional Needs And Doesn't Care If I'm Lonely: Tips To Inspire Him To Give You More Attention - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who feel as if they've become more of an individual than a couple. They feel like their relationship with their husband has become somewhat distant and, unfortunately, this was not their choice. There can be a loss of connection and that can invoke a feeling of deep ...
Views: 839 - My Husband Wants Me Out Of The House. Sometimes I Feel Like My Husband Acts Rude To Get Me To Leave Him. But I Don't Want To Leave My Home. - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneOften, there's a period of time in your marriage where you know that a separation could be just around the corner. During this time period, you and your husband can kind of circle one another. Both parties can feel that one of them is going to make the move to leave. The question is WHO it is ...
Views: 398 - Should I Tell My Husband That I Can't Live Without Him? Here's What You Should Do Instead Because This Strategy May Work Better - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneBelieve it or not, I get this question quite a bit. It usually comes from wives who feel that a divorce or separation is imminent and they do not know how they are going to survive without living together and/or being married. These wives are looking for something to stop the bleeding so to ...
Views: 490 - My Husband Is Very Distant And Emotionally Detached Lately. I Think He Longer Loves Me: Tips To Get Him Invested Again - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often get emails from wives who ask me to suggest ways to get their husband's love back in their marriage. Usually, with a bit of prompting, I can get them to tell me that they really fear their husbands are no longer "in love" with them. This is usually just a feeling or suspicion that they ...
Views: 434 - We Live Separate Lives In Our Marriage: My Husband Treats Me Like a Roommate and I Don't Know How To Handle It - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who told me that she and her husband were living much differently than they did when they were first married. She said they used to always be together, laughing, loving, and experiencing things together. But now, they saw each other over the breakfast table without ...
Views: 615 - How To Fight For Your Marriage Without Fighting With Your Husband: Hint. You Don't "Fight" At All - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often write articles about saving marriages. Perhaps it's because wives research this topic more than men, or perhaps it's because women are more proactive in their marriages, but I'm most often contacted by wives (and a few husbands too) who tell me something like: "Our relationship is in ...
Views: 489 - I Don't Feel Loved By My Husband. I Feel Ignored And Unimportant. How Do I Tell Him And Explain This So He Will Listen? - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneNo one wants to look for trouble in their marriage where none exists. I've seen perfectly good marriages struggle greatly because one spouse decided to over-analyze and complain about even the smallest, most benign issues. So it can be very important to separate the big issues from the little ...
Views: 536 - My Husband Ignores Me And Watches TV. He Doesn't Leave Me, But He Doesn't Want To Stay Either - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneIf you were to ask a separated wife who was living without her husband if she wanted him back even if he didn't 100% want to be there, many separated wives would say that yes, she would want him back however she could get him. However, if you are a wife who knows that your husband doesn't want ...
Views: 545 - My Husband Is Not Affectionate And Is Cold. I Feel Sexually Inadequate. Why Is It So Hard For Him? What Does It Mean? - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneAs women, we are often naturally affectionate. It is often not any effort for us to touch someone's arm, offer a hug, or tell those who we love just how great we think they are. In fact, many of us feel that this is at least one reason why we were put on this earth - to enhance the lives of ...
Views: 503 - How To Talk To My Husband About My Feelings? Why Does He Refuse To Understand Me Or Care? He Won't Make Any Attempt Whatsoever - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe vast majority of people that I hear from do not feel understood or heard by their spouse. I find that many folks do not comprehend just how serious of a problem this might be. Sure, no one is perfect at communicating or at reading someone else's clues. And sure, all marriages can ...
Views: 446 - How To Deal With An Arrogant Husband During Your Separation: My Husband Says I Can't Let Go Of Him. - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany husbands who initiate a separation are fairly confident about their wives' level of commitment during it. After all, it is the husband who wanted to separate in the first place. Since many wives don't want any marital break, we often assume that the wife will cling to her marriage for dear ...
Views: 536 - My Husband Hurts My Feelings All Of The Time. I'm Not Sure It's Good For Me To Be Married To Someone Who Is So Insensitive - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneI rarely get correspondence from wives telling me that their husband is too sweet, too sensitive, or too concerned about their feelings. Sure, I get the occasional complaint that a husband is too involved in the wife's life, but this is rare. More often, I hear from wives who complain that ...
Views: 537 - My Husband Makes Me Feel Bad About Myself During Our Separation: I'm Obviously Much More Committed Than He Is. It's Lopsided. - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen you're married but separated, it's very common to constantly evaluate what is going on with your spouse. You want to know what he's thinking, how he's feeling, and what all of this might mean in terms of what he wants moving forward. This can be especially true if you want to save your ...
Views: 427 - My Husband's Heart Is Hardened Toward Me. Can My Heartfelt Words Get My Husband To Change His Mind About The Divorce? - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who are looking for the perfect words to say in order to finally get through to the spouse who wants a divorce. Often, they know that this conversation is going to be a last-ditch effort, especially since they have had trouble getting through to their spouse in the ...
Views: 455 - My Husband Claims He Wants To Reconcile, But I'm Scared He's Just Playing Games To Buy Some Time. - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneMost of the wives who write to or reach out to me are trying very hard to get their separated husband to come home. Many fantasize about this for some time. So when it finally happens and their husband indicates that he would be open to a reconciliation, you would think that they would be ...
Views: 483 - My Husband Says He's Not Happy And Wants To Leave. He Feels He'd Be Happier Without Me. What Do I Do? - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneIn some matters, it feels as if it almost pays to be naive or in the dark - at least where your marriage is concerned. Because some knowledge can never be unlearned once you learn it. And when it is something that is very hurtful - like your spouse being unhappy or considering a separation or ...
Views: 509 - My Depressed Husband Feels Nothing, Doesn't Love Me Anymore, and Wants a Divorce. It's Almost Like He Blames Me For His Depression. - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes get emails from wives whose husbands are dealing with some form of depression. The descriptions given run the gauntlet from clinical depression to a chemical imbalance, to bipolar disorder, to manic depressive disorder. And, in today's very tough economic environment, folks are ...
Views: 555 - Why Do Marriages End? Understanding The True Answer May Save Your Marriage - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2020 from Leslie CaneI write about saving and rescuing marriages. As a result, I sometimes receive emails from folks wanting to know why their marriages are ending and what they can do to stop, delay, or bypass this process. Often, when I ask why the marriage is in trouble, I get a range of about five different ...
Views: 472 - I Want to Save My Marriage But My Husband Doesn't: How To Get Your Husband To Drop His Defenses And Work With You - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe majority of wives who visit this blog desperately want to save their marriages but feel that they are the only ones who want to. So often, I get emails that go something like: "Help! I want to save my marriage, but my husband doesn't. How can I prevent a divorce when I'm the only one who ...
Views: 466 - I Filed For Divorce And Now I Regret It. I Just Want My Husband Back. - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe other day, I got an email from a wife who was filled with regret. To make a very long story short, she and her husband had been having problems for quite some time. They still loved each other, she thought, but the relationship had evolved into something that neither of them recognized any ...
Views: 2046 - When is it Time to End a Marriage? Here's A Much Better Question To Ask - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2020 from Leslie CaneHere's fair disclosure right upfront. I am a big proponent of saving marriages and preventing divorce. I know first hand that even problem marriages which seem to be at the end can be saved. Still, I am often contacted by people who ask me "how do I know it is really the end of my marriage?" ...
Views: 423 - When a Spouse Says You Deserve Better and Wants a Divorce: Tips On Where To Place Your Focus - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe other day, I received an email from a very upset wife who told me that her husband had sat her down, indicated that he'd been thinking long and hard about their marriage, and had decided that she "deserved better so he wanted a divorce." Needless to say, she's very confused by this. She ...
Views: 441 - Signs Your Husband Wants You Back: Negative And Positive Clues That Mean He's Coming Around. - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often write about saving marriages. Or, if a separation or divorce has happened, I sometimes try to help the wife to get her husband back (so long as the relationship was a healthy one worth saving.) Often times, I'm contacted by wives who want to know the "signs that my husband wants me ...
Views: 497 - How To Get Your Husband Back When He Separates From You By Understanding Deliberate Display And Prioritizing The Positive - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2020 from Leslie CaneIf you've found this article and are looking for ways and tactics to get your husband back, I want you to understand one thing right up front: a separation does not necessarily mean a divorce. I say this because I see so many wives bracing themselves to throw in the towel when in fact this is ...
Views: 406 - Husband Wants Out of the Marriage? Advice For Anxious Wives On How To React When He Suddenly Wants Space, A Break, Separation, Or Divorce. - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2020 from Leslie CaneProbably one of the most common requests or emails that I get is a request for advice when a husband "wants out" of the marriage. Now, these emails run the gauntlet. Sometimes, the husband hasn't really said anything, but has hinted around, or is acting in such a way that the wife has a pretty ...
Views: 403 - What to Do When Your Husband is Not Affectionate. How To Get Him To Stop Withdrawing - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often write about saving marriages. Yet, I get a lot of emails from wives who are afraid that their husband's lack of affection and verbal and non-verbal reassurance is a sign that their husband has "fallen out of love" with them, has checked out of the marriage, or that severe marital ...
Views: 482 - My Husband Agreed To Try To Make Our Marriage Work Even Though He's Not In Love With Me - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2020 from Leslie CaneSometimes, I hear from women who are deeply conflicted about their troubled marriage. At this time, their greatest wish is to convince their husband to try to make their marriage work. Usually, it's become crystal clear that the marriage is crumbling. And, because the wife is still invested in ...
Views: 589 - I Want Advice on Saving My Marriage With My Husband: Why It's The Small, Genuine, Collaborative Changes That Make All The Difference - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2020 from Leslie CaneA couple of days ago, I received an email from a wife who had been married for well over a decade. She shared with me that, over the last couple of years, she has felt her husband slipping away. She told me that her husband " spends less time at home, doesn't show me nearly as much affection, ...
Views: 458 - How to Get My Husband to Love Me Again: Tips On Evaluating The Situation So You Can Show Him How - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often write about how I was able to save my own marriage when it was on its last legs, so I am sometimes approached my wives in a similar situation. Recently, I've been asked for advice or tips on topics like "how can I get my husband to love me again," or "my husband detaches from me," or "my ...
Views: 493 - My Husband Wants to Leave Me: Understanding What Situations Create Runaway Husbands And Which Tactics To Use - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneSince I often write about saving marriages, regaining the love and spark in your marriage, and restoring intimacy and closeness, I'm often asked what is the best way to react or proceed when you know that you husband wants to leave. The answer to this will greatly depend upon the situation, but ...
Views: 447 - The Two Things You Should Do When Trying To Save Your Marriage With A Reluctant Husband - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneIf you're thinking about this phrase or asking the questions that stem from it, then it's probably safe to say the state of your marriage isn't as strong or as stable as you would like it to be. I don't know the specifics of your situation, or whether your spouse is just not as happy as he could ...
Views: 441 - Trying to Save a Marriage? Advice on What Works and What Doesn't - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen I was trying to save my marriage a couple of years ago, I read everything I could get my hands on that would help me prevent a divorce. I blindly followed most of this advice and found it to be flawed, not only because it didn't work, but because it sets the couple on a frustrating path ...
Views: 430 - My Husband Won't Say Why He Left Me. - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who just wasn't sure what to do. Her husband had left her and the home the week before and now was not accepting her calls, texts, or emails. Anytime that she did get him on the phone, placed herself in front of him, and had his attention for long enough to get a ...
Views: 515 - What is the Best Way to Save a Marriage? - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneIf you're researching this question, I'm assuming that your marriage is not on firm ground or is in trouble. I don't know if you're contemplating divorce, already taking a break from the relationship, or just wanting to improve upon what you already have. No matter which situation you're in, ...
Views: 437 - He Wants a Divorce But You Don't - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneI can empathize with many of the emails from visitors who ask for advice on how to proceed when their husband wants a divorce, but they want to save their marriage. I was in the same situation a few years ago. This is a very tough spot to be in because you feel as if your back is against the ...
Views: 429 - My Husband is Saying He Wants a Divorce - Does it Mean the End of the Marriage? - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often receive comments and emails from wives who tell me that their husband is claiming that he wants a divorce, and the wives want to know if this means the end of the marriage. The answer to this question is going to greatly depend upon the circumstances around it, but I believe that until ...
Views: 439 - My Husband Wants to Leave - Should I Chase Him? Why Should LURE Him, Not Chase Him - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneAlthough no one can really answer this question for you, I hope to give you insights on what has worked for me and others. Through my own experience and research, I've developed a theory on what will make a husband stay and what will drive him further away. It is my opinion that "chasing a ...
Views: 436 - The Trial Separation - Does it Work? When A Trial Separation Is Actually A Good Idea That Can Save Your Marriage. - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneRecent statistics show us that couples are trying trial separations in record numbers. There are potentially endless reasons for this. But, I believe that the economy is playing a large role. Maintaining and paying for two households is much more expensive than paying for one. Many couples ...
Views: 426 - My Husband Wants A Divorce, But Still Wants To Have Sex. How To Evaluate If It's Right To Continue Having Sex - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneThis question is actually more common than you may think. When couples are in crisis or are in talks about taking a break, splitting up, or divorcing, emotions can run high and doubt can creep in. Affection, attraction, and love can still be smoldering under the surface even if a couple is ...
Views: 531 - Getting His Love Back In Your Marriage When He Claims He's Not "In Love" With You - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneSince I've begun writing about returning love to marriage, I often have wives who approach me and say they want to save their marriage, but their husbands have indicated that (or act as if) they no longer love or are in love with them. These wives don't know how in the world they can save or ...
Views: 405 - What to Do When Your Unhappy Husband Wants a Divorce, But You Don't? Four Steps That Might Help You Save Your Marriage. - by Submitted on Apr 17, 2020 from Leslie CaneIf you're reading this article, it's highly likely that your husband wants a divorce and you don't. Of course, I do not know whether he's merely suggested divorce or separation, you're actively going through it, or if he's already left. No matter the situation, this article will tell you the ...
Views: 440 - My Husband Served Me With Divorce Papers, But I Want to Save the Marriage - Advice That May Help - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2020 from Leslie CaneThere are few worse feelings than being served with divorce papers when you want to save your marriage. It's absolutely normal to feel panicked and beaten. But, it's important to understand that it doesn't have to be "the end." Many marriages reconcile before the divorce is final. It's not an ...
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