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Articles from Leslie Cane | Selfgrowth.com
- My Husband Doesn't Care That Our Marriage Is Falling Apart. Can It Still Work If I'm Trying To Save It And My Husband Is Not? - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who have a strong sense that their marriage is potentially in trouble. They can not help but notice that something has changed. Their spouse may be distant or not affectionate. It might seem as if there is nothing to really talk about anymore. There can be awkward ...
Views: 435 - I'm Ready To Be The Wife My Husband Deserves And Work Harder To Save My Marriage. My Husband Doesn't Care. He Thinks It's Too Late. - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneSometimes, you are fully aware that it is going to take a whole lot of work to save your marriage and you take responsibility for that. You are prepared for that. And you fully intend to follow through with any promises that you have made to your spouse. Perhaps you have gotten to a point ...
Views: 618 - How Do I Apologize To My Husband Before He Files For Divorce? How Do I Get Him To Accept My Apology? - by Submitted on May 15, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are gearing up to make a last-ditch effort to save their marriages after they've made a huge mistake. Many times, they are looking for the perfect magical words and phrases to tell their husband how sorry they are and to reassure him that things are going to ...
Views: 613 - How Do I Save My Marriage When He Doesn't Want To? My Husband Doesn't Want To Be Married Anymore But I Do. - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from people who are trying to decide their next course of action after their spouse has announced that they no longer want to be married. Recently, I heard from a wife who said, in part: "Out of the blue, my husband sat me down and told me that he doesn't want to be married anymore. ...
Views: 479 - How Do I Save My Marriage When I Feel Hopeless? I'm Feeling Helpless About My Husband Not Wanting Our Marriage Anymore - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen your spouse tells you that he is no longer invested in your marriage, it can become very easy to get down on the whole situation and to begin to feel somewhat helpless. One reason for this is that you can feel a lack of control. It can feel as if no matter what you do or say, this is all ...
Views: 637 - How To Bring Your Marriage Back To Life: How To Get Back You've Lost In A Lifeless Marriage - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneSome wives have finally convinced their husbands to commit to saving or reviving their marriage. But often once they have reached this milestone, they aren't sure what to do next. A wife might explain: "for the last couple of years, my husband and I have drifted further and further apart. ...
Views: 550 - My Husband Hates His Life. How Do I Help Support Him When He Is This Confused And Dissatisfied? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who are dealing with a spouse who has become cold, distant, and "confused." People are sometimes quick to label this as a mid-life crisis, but it can happen at any point in a person's life. Typically what you will see is that your spouse will suddenly no longer feel ...
Views: 468 - How Do I Reconnect With My Separated Husband? Steps To Follow When He's Moving Back Home After A Trial Separation. - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneHaving your spouse move back in after a trial separation is a goal that most of us are hoping for more than anything else. That is the day that is marked in red on your calendar. That is the day that is going to seem like Christmas morning and your birthday all rolled into one. But as the ...
Views: 551 - How To Mend A Broken Marriage Alone: Even When You Don't Know What Happened And Aren't Sure How To Fix It - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from people who, seemingly all of a sudden, are shocked at the state of their marriage. Sometimes, you seem to be kind of coasting along, and then something will happen which will jolt you to a shocking reality. Your marriage is visibly shaken or altered and you have no idea how ...
Views: 428 - I Think My Husband Hates Me: He Says He Doesn't Like Anything About Me. How Do You Respond To A Hateful Statement Like This? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who have recently been stung by something horribly hurtful that their husband has said. Sometimes, this happens during an argument or in the heat of the moment. Other times, their husband appears to be only attempting to be honest and not intending to hurt his wife. ...
Views: 605 - Our Marriage Is Loveless But I Can't Leave: Finding Happiness In An Unhappy Marriage - Tips and Advice That May Help - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently received an email from a wife who described her marriage as "loveless." However, she told me that she had two children whom she would never dream of putting through a divorce. She could not stand the thought of forcing her kids to grow up in a single-parent home. So, she knew that ...
Views: 392 - Can A Marriage Survive A Blended Family? My Husband Doesn't Like My Kids. I Feel Like I Have To Choose Between My Spouse And My Children. - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneThere's an old saying which goes: "when you marry someone, you are also marrying their family - their parents, their children, and their siblings." Of course, when you are deeply in love, you figure that you can handle any extended family that comes your way. And sometimes, families actually get ...
Views: 499 - Why Can't I Stop Thinking That My Husband is Going to Leave Me? Tips and Advice That May Help - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from wives who are sometimes dangerously fixated on what they think is the eventual break up of their marriage (which they believe will start once their husband leaves them.) Sometimes, this is caused by the husband's threatening to leave or by the fact that he has left before. ...
Views: 404 - My Husband Is So Stressed Out And Now He Wants To Walk Out On Me. How Do I Help Him Handle The Stress So We Can Save Our Marriage? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who are sure that the stressful situation in their lives is directly behind their marital problems, their separation, or their upcoming divorce. They will tell you that they had a wonderful marriage before the event reared its ugly head. And they don't know how to ...
Views: 540 - My Separated Husband Came Home To See If The Spark Would Come Back. He Says It Hasn't. What Now? - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneOften, when you are separated, your greatest obstacle seems to be getting your separated husband to be willing to come back home. Many wives hope that if they can just find a way to overcome this obstacle, then things will just fall back into place once he returns home where he belongs. But what ...
Views: 425 - I Want To Save My Marriage, But It's Not Working. What Am I Doing Wrong? - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who aren't sure how much more work they can put into their marriage. Often, they feel as if they have been working for a long and difficult time, although they have little to show for it. And many times, they are disappointed that they are not seeing any real change ...
Views: 486 - My Husband Feels Trapped In Our Marriage. He Says He's Miserable. How Am I Supposed To Take This? - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneSometimes, you have a feeling that your marriage is deteriorating, but you hope that perhaps you are making things worse than they are. That is until your spouse says something that leaves you with no doubt that you were right. Sometimes your spouse uses extremely hurtful adjectives that can ...
Views: 887 - I'm Afraid Our Marital Separation Is Failing. I Worry I'll Become A Bitter, Divorced Woman Who Is All Alone - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneFear is probably the most common emotion that separated wives experience, at least wives who are still invested in their marriages. It's not hard to understand why. Most of us believe that we are at risk of losing what we care most about - the man we love, potentially the father of our children, ...
Views: 438 - My Husband Isn't A Happy Family Man Anymore. He's Lost Interest In Me, Our Kids, And In Home Life - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are not yet separated, but who worry that a separation may occur in the future. Many of these wives can feel their husbands' interest and affection slipping away. One of them might say something like this, "my husband and I actually became closer when we became ...
Views: 829 - My Separated Husband Demands Space, But I Feel Like A Liar When I Hide And Fight My True Feelings. - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from spouses who realize that it's important to give their spouse some space during the trial separation. Many are also fully aware that this time is best used for working on themselves and for allowing the distance to create a longing for one another so that their marriage ...
Views: 449 - My Husband Will Leave Me If Something Doesn't Change Soon. I'm Running Out Of Time To Save My Marriage. - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who feel as if they are running out of time to save their marriage. And they typically feel this way because their spouse has made it clear that he is getting very impatient. Some spouses go so far as to threaten divorce or separation if something doesn't change very ...
Views: 670 - My Husband Is Selfish And Uncaring. It's All About Him. I Want To Write Him A Letter And Tell Him So. - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who are so angry at their spouse that they are not even sure that they can address the problem face-to-face. Many are looking for pointers as to how to write a letter to get their point across because they do not trust themselves to state this verbally. They worry ...
Views: 789 - My Husband Admitted He's No Longer Attracted To Me. What Now? Know That Attraction Isn't Always About Looks - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneRecently, I heard from a wife who was devastated. Her husband had sat her down and very matter of factly told her that he no longer found her attractive. He told her that this was a big problem because he felt that he needed to be physically attracted in order to remain invested in the marriage. ...
Views: 572 - My Husband Never Takes My Side, Defends Me, Or Has My Back. It Hurts Me And Makes Me Doubt My Marriage. - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneIn a good marriage, we would do just about anything for our spouse. A marriage is a relationship where, ideally, you would go to war for your spouse if you had to. People who are happily married generally have the outlook that they and their spouse are a pack of two and that they will defend ...
Views: 957 - Life After The Separation. Is It Like A Divorce? What Happens With Loneliness, The Kids, And Dating. - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people whose spouse is insisting on a marital separation. The folks reaching out are understandably very reluctant about the separation because they don't know what to expect. Most people haven't been separated before, so they can't anticipate what their life might look ...
Views: 391 - My Separated Husband Says It's Over Between Us. He Wants To Know Why I Won't Accept It. - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who want to believe in their hearts that there is still a chance for their separated marriage. However, their husband isn't nearly as optimistic and he will sometimes try to convince the wife that she should just accept that there may not be a reconciliation. Often, ...
Views: 415 - My Husband Blames All Of Our Problems On Me. Why Is Everything Wrong In Our Marriage My Fault? - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who feel constantly blamed by their husbands. Many of them will admit that the issues where the husband places the blame DO exist. They also admit that these problems harm their marriage. Unfortunately, though, the husband refuses to see his part in any of these ...
Views: 613 - My Husband Always Turns Things Around On Me: He Twists My Words When I Bring Up Our Problems, Causing A Huge Fight - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt's tricky when you know that your marriage is potentially in trouble, but you can't talk to your spouse about the same. You aren't wanting to bring up your issues to cause problems or to end your marriage. You want to bring up your issues so that you can save your marriage. But your spouse ...
Views: 913 - My Husband Doesn't Help Out Around The House. Does This Mean That He Doesn't Love Me Or Care About Our Marriage Anymore? - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneThere are certain behaviors that wives start to notice when they suspect that their husband has begun to check out of their marriage. One example is when he is no longer interested in making sure that the home runs smoothly. Perhaps he used to take an interest in household maintenance (even if ...
Views: 444 - Reasons A Separated Husband Won't Say "I Love You." And What You Should Do About It. - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneSometimes, when you are reluctantly separated from your spouse, hearing the words "I love you," can make you feel as if you have won the lottery. After all, when you never wanted the separation in the first place, you are looking for anything that might give you hope that one day, the separation ...
Views: 449 - Can Unhappy Marriages Become Happy Again? Yes! Here's What It Takes To Rebuild. - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt's common for me to hear from people who are dealing with an unhappy spouse or an unhappy marriage. Rebuilding contentment in your marriage is challenging enough, but the challenge can feel insurmountable when your spouse expresses doubt about your ability to be a happy couple going forward. ...
Views: 462 - My Spouse Is Asking For A Separation. I Say No And Ignore His Requests. But He Keeps Asking. What Now? - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from people who want to get their spouse to stop constantly asking for a separation. Much of the time, they have considered many tactics in order to help them to achieve this. One common tactic is to respond with a firm "no" and then to ignore their spouse. They are hoping that if ...
Views: 549 - My Husband Makes Me Feel Invisible: Sometimes I Want To Leave Him Because He Doesn't Appreciate Me. - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who feel desperately unappreciated by their spouse. At first, they will sometimes try to tell themselves that they are expecting too much or being too needy. But, with time, when it doesn't ever get any better, it starts to wear on you. And you begin to wonder if ...
Views: 488 - My Separated Husband Wants Nothing To Do With Me. How Do I Get Him Back If He Doesn't Call Or Come Around? - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2020 from Leslie CaneThere are many difficult situations one must navigate during a marital separation. Here is a common one: You been asked to give your husband space. You know that you should comply. However, once you do, how will you ever reconcile? If you rarely see him and no one is calling or visiting, how can ...
Views: 585 - A Letter To A Husband To Convince Him Not To Leave The Marriage: What Should It Include. Can It Work? - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often get requests for tips on how to write a very effective letter meant to convince a husband that the marriage is worth saving and can be rescued if both parties work together to make this happen. Many wives want to go with the letter route because they feel that their husband is just not ...
Views: 597 - Mixed Messages During The Separation Or Divorce: He Says He Wants To Get Back Together In Front Of The Kids, But He Doesn't Act On It - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives have separated husbands who are saying one thing in front of the kids, but are then saying different things behind closed doors. Many times, the husband will put on a happy face or paint a positive picture about getting back together when the children are around. But, when the ...
Views: 566 - I Don't Want To Give Up But My Husband Says Our Marriage Isn't Working: How To Work Around This - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife whose husband had been constantly telling her that their marriage "just wasn't working" for him anymore and that he was thinking about exploring other options. Needless to say, this wasn't what she wanted to hear. He'd been talking about separating, staying with ...
Views: 410 - I'm Not Sure If I Can Tolerate My Husband Or Marriage Anymore. Should I Try To Save It Or Just Leave? Which Would Be Easier Or Healthier? - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who know that they are at a crossroads in their marriages. They are well aware that neither themselves nor their spouse is happy. They look around and they perceive that their marriage is "less than" that of friends, family members, or associates. So they start to ...
Views: 412 - Do I Need to Back Off During My Separation So That My Husband Comes Back to Me? Backing Off, Yes. Ignoring, No. - by Submitted on May 15, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently received an email from a wife who had just begun a separation from her husband. This was a very difficult time for her and she wasn't sure how she should proceed or act in the days ahead. She missed her husband and wanted to retain regular contact with him. It was unbearable for ...
Views: 601 - He Wants His Space, But You Want Him Back? Tips For Understanding The Best Way To Play This - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of emails from wives and girlfriends who aren't sure if (or how) to give their husbands and boyfriends "space" or some time apart. The most common fear for complying with this request is that if you let him go, he's going to determine that he actually likes being apart and will not ...
Views: 402 - For How Long Should You Give Your Spouse Space During A Separation? And How Can You Be Patient For Days, Weeks, Or Months? - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who have come to understand that it's often best to comply with their spouse's request for "space." Often, the last thing that they want is a separation or a break. But often after some time, it has become obvious that nothing else is going to satisfy their spouse. ...
Views: 601 - In A Loveless, Unhappy Marriage But Staying Married For the Sake of the Children? Should You Stay Together Only For the Kids? - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of correspondence from spouses (who are usually wives) that admit to me that they are "only staying married for the sake of the children." These wives often admit that they are quite unhappy and they worry that their lack of passion for life is going to influence or negatively affect ...
Views: 472 - My Husband Filed For Divorce Suddenly But I Don't Want It And Am Running Out Of Time. What Can I Do?: Here Are Some Tactics To Try. - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from women whose husbands are hinting that they want or intend to file for a divorce. Sometimes, though, there is a more dire situation. I hear from wives whose husbands have just filed the paperwork to set the divorce in motion. Such was the case yesterday. I heard from a wife in ...
Views: 593 - How Do I Communicate With My Husband Without Fighting?: How To Avoid Anger, Frustration, And Shut Down - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany of the people who write to me about the problems or troubles in their marriages realize that a break down in communication is one of the major issues that they face and need to overcome. As easy as it is to identify that you have these issues, it can be more difficult to actually improve ...
Views: 519 - How Do I Make My Husband Want To Stay Married To Me When He Has One Foot Out The Door? - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe emails that I get are often from the spouse who wants to remain married and who wants advice on how to get their husband, wife, or partner back on board. Typically, one spouse will say, hint at, or act like they don't want to be married anymore, but this is not at all the way that the still ...
Views: 498 - Want To Repair Your Marriage? Why You Shouldn't Use The Word "Repair" When You Want To Fix Your Marriage. Here's What To Say Instead. - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI'm all about preventing divorce and stale marriages through positive means, but I have to tell you, I cringe when I hear the phrase "repairing a marriage." When you vocalize that you want to "repair your marriage," it's as if you view your marriage as a rusty, broken-down car that's been ...
Views: 536 - How To React When You Love Your Husband But He Doesn't Love You Back: Strategies With The Highest Chance Of Success - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often get emails from wives who feel that their husbands either don't love them enough or don't love them at all. I hear comments like "he doesn't love me nearly as much as I love him," or "I love him very much, but he doesn't love me back," or "if only it was enough that I adore him, but he ...
Views: 464 - My Husband Is Always Making Negative, Nasty Comments Toward Me. Sometimes, He Is Hurtful, Insensitive, And Mean - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear wives recount mean, nasty, and negative things that their husbands have said. Examples are things like: "you are so selfish," Or "none of my friends' wives make the demands that you do," Or "it's sad that I don't even look forward to coming home after work because I know that you ...
Views: 567 - My Husband Left And Says He Doesn't Want To Be With Me Anymore: Reading Between The Lines To Understand What This Really Means - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI received an email from a wife who told me that she was beside herself because her husband had just told her that "he didn't want to be with me anymore." I had to ask if this meant he didn't want to be with her sexually, didn't want to be with her as her husband, or just didn't want to be in ...
Views: 616 - My Husband Takes Me (And Our Marriage) For Granted: He Alway Says He Will Work On Our Marriage But Then He Doesn't Do A Thing - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt can get very frustrating when you've become dissatisfied with your marriage, but are also very unhappy with your spouse's attempt to resolve it. His complacency can make you feel as if he is taking you (and the marriage) for granted. You may get up your courage to tell him that this just ...
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