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Articles from Leslie Cane | Selfgrowth.com
- My Husband Refuses To Grow Up. He Claims He'll Change And Act Like An Adult To Save Our Marriage, But I've Heard It Before - by Submitted on May 07, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany people are skeptical about their spouse's claims that they will make drastic changes in order to save their marriage. Often, this whole speech sounds very familiar because they have heard it all before. And this leaves them with more doubt than confidence. A wife might complain: "For the ...
Views: 1205 - I Don't Think I Love My Spouse Anymore. I Don't Feel Romantic Toward Him And Feel Numb When He Says 'I Love You.' Does This Mean My Marriage Is Over? - by Submitted on May 07, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who are alarmed to find that they no longer have any strong feelings for their spouse. Often, they wish that they did still have these feelings because that would make life a lot easier for themselves or for their families. But, when they are being honest, they have ...
Views: 605 - My Separated Husband Never Apologizes. He's Nasty And Rude To Me. Should I Be Mean To Him Or Demand An Apology In Response? - by Submitted on May 07, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives are very disappointed in the way that their husband is acting during a trial or marital separation. Often, the wives had hoped that the time apart would actually improve both people's behavior. But, much to their dismay, the opposite has happened. One might say: "things weren't ...
Views: 498 - Is It Normal To Second Guess Yourself Or Have Second Thoughts About Separating? I Thought I Wanted The Separation, But Now I Realize I Made A Mistake And Love My Spouse - by Submitted on May 07, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from spouses who, during a separation or break that they themselves had asked for, had the sudden realization as to what a huge mistake they made. I often hear comments like "I'm the one who pushed for the separation. I really thought I'd fallen out of love with my spouse. But, ...
Views: 422 - My Husband Never Initiates Affection: Why Wouldn't A Husband Want To Show His Wife Affection? - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from married folks who are quite distressed by the lack of affection in their marriage. Many want to understand why this pattern may exist so that they can come up with a plan to change it. A wife might say: "for the last five years or so, my husband hasn't wanted to show me ...
Views: 616 - My Separated Husband Never Comforts Me When I'm Upset. Should He Still Care For Me Emotionally? Tips For Improving His Emotional Intelligence. - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt's common for wives to feel that their husband is not as emotionally connected as they are. This can be true whether you are currently separated or not. (A separation does add another complication to the mix, but most wives have wondered if their husband is as emotionally invested as he should ...
Views: 1133 - My Husband Has Emotionally Checked Out And Is Cold And Distant. How Can I Make Him Love Me Again When He's Emotionally Detached? - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany of the women who visit my blog can literally feel their husband or their boyfriend slipping away from them. The distance is a feeling that has become so real that you can almost touch it. I often hear things like "our relationship today is just so different. He's cold, indifferent, and ...
Views: 440 - My Husband Sabotages My Happiness: He Could Care Less Whether I'm Happy Or Not. - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who think that things are lopsided in their marriage. One example is the spouse who thinks that although she values her husband's happiness above her own, he doesn't return the favor. And over time, she has come to believe that he could care less whether her happiness ...
Views: 714 - My Husband And I Never Have Fun Anymore: He Says I'm No Fun And Boring So He Wants A Separation - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from people who are facing a separation and who don't necessarily agree with the reasoning that their spouse is offering up. And even if they do see some validity to their reasoning, they often just don't how to change who or what they already are. Here's just one example. I ...
Views: 520 - My Husband Is Never Satisfied With Me. I'm Never Enough. How Do I Make Him Want What He Has? - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneIn a perfect world, your spouse would be your biggest cheerleader. He is the one who should lift you up and defend you against all others. When you're feeling bad about yourself or have doubts, he is the one who should tell you that you are more than fine just the way you are - or at the very ...
Views: 545 - My Husband Is Unhappy With Family Life: He No Longer Wants The Responsibility Of A Wife, Marriage, And Family - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who honestly believe that they are losing their husbands due to a situation that is very difficult to change. Many people believe that if you know why your spouse isn't happy, then the logical thing to do would be to fix the problem causing the unhappiness and then to ...
Views: 383 - How To Save A Marriage When The Trust Is Gone. Rebuilding The Trust In A Troubled Or Separated Marriage - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who are very clear (and remorseful) about the fact that the big contributing factor to them separating from their spouse is a lack of trust. Often, one spouse has done something unfortunate and significant enough for the other to lose trust in them, which has led to ...
Views: 405 - My Husband Always Leaves When We Fight. He Has Left Me Multiple Times. Should I Just Give Up And Divorce Him? - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen you are newly separated, things can feel so dire. There is a lot of shock and also a great sense of urgency. But what happens if you have been through a separation multiple times? What if your spouse makes a habit of leaving you at the first sign of a fight? Well, then the shock can ...
Views: 581 - How Do I Reconcile With My Husband After A Separation When He Says He's Not Ready For A Reconciliation? - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives are crushed that their husband will not agree to a reconciliation. Sometimes, they are separated. And other times, they are just living separate lives within the same house. Often, the wives aren't sure how to best address this, especially when the two seem so far apart, with no ...
Views: 467 - For How Long Should A Trial Separation Last? What Is The Average Time For A Separation Before Reconciliation? - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from folks who are getting ready to separate from their spouse. Many never wanted the separation to begin with and they are dreading it now. So, they want to know what they are up against and how long they must endure it. Some of them are dealing with spouses who are insinuating or ...
Views: 736 - The Most Effective Ways To Save Your Marriage Despite A Trial Separation - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneI find that very few people go into a separation thinking that it is going to improve their marriage. Very few people are excited about it. But many feel that it might be their only hope if they want to avoid a divorce. And, since its natural to try to look on the bright side, many of us hope ...
Views: 381 - My Husband Says He Doesn't Love Me Anymore and Wants a Divorce - How Do I Cope With This? - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who was devastated and not sure that she could cope. Her husband had just dropped a huge bombshell when he announced that he no longer loved her and wanted a divorce. She was highly emotional, understandably, and she didn't know how to begin to process this (much ...
Views: 620 - My Husband Wants To Leave Me But I Still Love Him. What Can I Do? - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are fairly certain that their husband is going to leave them. Some of them just have a strong feeling or suspicion that their husband is unhappy. Others have husbands who have been very honest about the fact that he is considering moving out. Many of the wives do ...
Views: 575 - Signs Your Husband Doesn't Want to Be Married to You Anymore (And What You Can Begin To Do About It) - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often get emails from wives who suspect that their husband no longer wants to be in the relationship. Often, people ask me for "signs that a husband doesn't want to be married or in the marriage anymore." And, I often will respond with a list of danger signs to watch for, but I also typically ...
Views: 528 - How to Reconnect With Your Husband During A Separation Through Gradual, Increasingly Meaningful Conversations - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen you are reluctantly separated and want to save your marriage, you often intuitively know that communication is vitally important. Saving your marriage means that you are going to eventually need to overcome what drove you apart in the first place and then re-create the intimacy that will ...
Views: 1040 - How Do I Make My Husband Love Me Again During Our Separation? How To Pull Him Closer When You Feel Him Pulling Away. - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneIf the martial or trial separation was never your choice, then the chances are good that you are looking for any way to end it and to carry on with your marriage. Many people suspect that one very efficient and effective way to end the separation is for their spouse to come to the realization ...
Views: 1035 - Trial Separation Statistics: What Are The Odds Of Getting Back Together After A Separation? What Are The Chances Of Reconciling? - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt's not uncommon for people facing a trial separation to seek out statistics on the same. It's normal to want to know what you are up against. People want to know if separation is usually a precursor to divorce or if the process actually helps most of the couples who attempt it. Before I go ...
Views: 497 - How To Avoid A Separation In Your Marriage (Without Trying To Talk, Pressure, Or Scare Your Spouse Out Of It.) - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people whose spouse has announced that he wants to separate or divorce. Most of the people I hear from do not agree to this. But of course, there are two people in any marriage. So just one person wanting to remain together does not necessarily mean that it is going to ...
Views: 1003 - Ways To Get The Spark Back In Your Marriage When All the Love Has Been Lost And The Chemistry Is Gone - by Submitted on May 04, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get this question quite often from folks who feel that their marriage has reached the point of no return. They feel as if they and their spouse have become strangers and while they may not be actively fighting, they are not actively loving either. The spark is gone. The chemistry is off. The ...
Views: 340 - My Husband Straight Up Told Me He Doesn't Love Me Anymore - by Submitted on May 04, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who recently had a very upsetting exchange with her husband. They had recently exchanged some pretty heated words and the husband threw up his hands and said their whole marriage was a "farce and a joke." This stopped the wife cold in her tracks because normally when ...
Views: 883 - How To Reconcile With Your Husband After A Separation By Understanding (And Acting On) The Power Of Distance - by Submitted on May 04, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt would be nice if reconciling a marriage was an easy task, with both parties committed and confident that it is possible to work things out. But, this isn't always the case. Most people who visit my site are wives (and sometimes husbands) who are either trying to save the marriage alone, or ...
Views: 447 - My Husband Gets Angry When I Try To Talk To Him About Our Trial Separation: I Just Want To Know How It Would Work And He's Evasive. Why? - by Submitted on May 04, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen your spouse starts talking about a trial separation, it is perfectly natural, (and understandable,) to want as many details as you can possibly get. After all, it is pretty obvious that your life is going to change dramatically. Because of that, you want specific details, so that you can ...
Views: 940 - I Lied To My Husband And Now He Wants A Divorce: How To Save Your Marriage When You've Lied To Your Husband - by Submitted on May 04, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who told me that her husband had firmly told her that he was "sick of" her lies and was considering a divorce. The wife had to admit that the husband was extremely justified in his frustration. In truth, the wife had lied to him early in their relationship. And, to ...
Views: 504 - I Left My Husband But It Was A Mistake. I Miss Him And Feel Guilty. Should I Go Back To Try To Save My Family? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneFamily can be a huge contributing factor in whether you attempt to save your marriage or not. Many people confess to me that were it not for their children, the decision of whether or not to end their marriage would probably be a lot easier. Children can even factor into the equation once the ...
Views: 464 - How To Talk To Your Husband To Save Your Marriage: Is There Anything That You Do Or Say To Change His Mind? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneNot only is it very painful when your spouse starts talking about being unhappy in your marriage, but it's also panic-inducing. We often begin to picture the worst-case scenario almost immediately and some of us have an almost instant need to attempt to change his mind. To demonstrate, I ...
Views: 1002 - When Is It Time To Stop Trying To Save Your Marriage If You're Miserable And Unhappy? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes get correspondence from people who confess that their marriage has been "unhappy," "stale," or "unfulfilling" for quite a while. And, most have hung in there because they had hoped things would get better or because they were opposed to a separation or divorce. But after a while of ...
Views: 471 - My Husband Says It's Too Little Too Late To Save Our Marriage. How Do I Change His Mind? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are desperately trying to convince their husbands that it's possible to save their marriage. Sometimes, the husband remains firm in his belief that the marriage is too far gone to save. I recently heard from a wife in this situation. She said, in part: "I'm pretty ...
Views: 992 - How Do I Make My Husband Value And Respect Me More? How Do I Make Him Realize My Worth? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from people who don't feel completely appreciated by their spouse. And, this complaint can come from both a husband and a wife. It is not limited to one particular sex or gender. However, I find that women tend to feel unappreciated a bit more since household and child-rearing ...
Views: 458 - My Husband And I Don't Talk Anymore. What Does This Mean? What Can I Do About It? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI strongly believe that one early indication that your marriage might be in trouble is the fact that you and your spouse rarely talk anymore. This was one warning sign that I missed, assuming that my husband and I had just hit a "comfortable phase" where we were mostly just reading one another's ...
Views: 608 - 3 Big Warning Signs Your Husband is Planning to Leave You Or File For Divorce - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often write about saving or rescuing marriages in trouble, so sometimes I'm asked to provide the warning signs for wives who suspect that their husband is planning on leaving or filing for divorce. Of course, the warning signs will be slightly different for every couple, but I've found that ...
Views: 603 - How Do I Make Things Right With My Husband? He Says I Don't Make An Effort For Him Anymore - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who feel quite criticized and unaccepted by their husbands. One of the common complaints is that the wife "no longer makes an effort" or "has let herself go." I fully admit that I often side with the wives on this topic. Because I've been on the receiving end of this ...
Views: 463 - My Separated Husband Has Said Mean, Hurtful Things That I Can't Get Over. How Can I Even Begin To Save My Marriage After These Unforgivable Comments? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneSaving your marriage with two willing people can feel daunting and overwhelming at times. But saving your marriage when one spouse is not participating and has said very hurtful things can feel downright impossible. A wife might be dealing with a marriage in which both parties have said ...
Views: 789 - My Husband Says I'm Too Needy And He's Not Responsible For My Happiness. What Does That Mean For My Marriage? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneWhen you are struggling in your marriage, it is perfectly natural to want to analyze everything that your spouse is saying. After all, you know that you are on shaky ground, but you just don't know how bad things are or how bad things are going to get. So, you listen carefully to your spouse and ...
Views: 853 - Saving Your Marriage And Preventing A Divorce Single-Handedly When Your Husband Does Not Want To Participate. Tips and Advice That May Help - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI heard from a wife who told me that no matter what she did or said, she couldn't get her husband on board when it came to their marriage. Specifically, she said: "I can't convince my husband to work with me to improve our marriage. I'm not sure that I will able to do this by myself. How can ...
Views: 361 - Our Marriage Is In Serious Trouble. What If My Husband Leaves? I'm So Anxious About This. - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneMost people who value their marriage see their spouse leaving them, initiating a separation, or filing for divorce as the worst-case scenario. No one wants to be abandoned by their spouse or unsure about the future of their marriage. And, if you think that any of these things are possible, then ...
Views: 440 - My Husband Says He Doesn't Care If I Leave Because We're Not Happy. I Guess He Tried To Call My Bluff - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneIn certain circumstances, I do not find it unusual for married couples to threaten the very thing that they fear the most. In other words, it is not uncommon for a wife who dreads a separation to threaten that very thing in order to get her husband to reassure her that there will be NO ...
Views: 729 - My Husband Will Not Talk To Me After We Had A Fight And He Left. How Can I Save My Marriage When He's Giving Me The Silent Treatment? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who want more than anything to have a chance to save their marriage, especially when they perceive that the issues within that same marriage are all of their faults. However, sometimes not only is the issue that has threatened the marriage difficult to overcome, but ...
Views: 521 - Saving Your Marriage By Changing Yourself. Why And How It Works - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneBy the time most people get around to emailing me, their marriage has typically been in trouble for a while. It's so easy to just ignore the problem and hope that it will go away until it reaches a point where you can no longer do that. It's often only then that folks will sit down, roll up ...
Views: 488 - Our Marriage Is Inconvenient For My Husband. He Feels Tied Down And Old. I'm Afraid He's Going To Leave Me - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives are struggling to deal with disappointed husbands. Often, the husband has alluded to the fact (or he has come right out and said) that he's disappointed in the marriage because it isn't what he was expecting or hoping for. It's nearly impossible to hear these types of discussions ...
Views: 559 - My Husband Is Trying To Sort Out His Feelings To Decide If He's Going To Stay With Me. How Am I Supposed To Act While He's Thinking About It? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are extremely worried because their husband has made it very clear that he isn't sure that he's completely happy with the marriage. Often, the husband will begin to hint that he needs time to think or to sort out his feelings. As often, the wife will hover or ...
Views: 561 - Should I Leave My Marriage If I'm Unhappy And My Husband Is Defensive? My Husband Just Told Me If I'm So Unhappy With My Marriage, Then I Should Leave - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2020 from Leslie CaneI don't think that anyone enjoys being unsatisfied with their marriage. I don't think that anyone strives to be unhappy. In fact, many of us don't admit, even to ourselves, that we are not content with our marriage until things have gotten pretty bad. And sometimes, once we admit this ...
Views: 386 - My Husband Filed For A Divorce In The Heat Of The Moment. He Is Furious With Me. Could He Possibly Calm Down And Still Care? - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from folks who have been filed with divorce papers from a spouse who acted in the heat of the moment. Often, one spouse has done something to make the other so mad that they feel compelled to do something very dramatic in order to make a statement. Sometimes, this statement ...
Views: 620 - What To Say To A Husband Who Is About To Leave You: The Words To Say To Eventually Save Your Marriage - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2020 from Leslie CaneI know the feeling that many wives have when their husband is about to walk out the door to pursue a break or separation. There can be a sense of panic. You can feel desperate. And you are more likely to say or do something that you might regret. This article will outline the things that I ...
Views: 556 - My Husband Has Checked Out Of Our Marriage: Can Our Marriage Be Saved If the Husband Wants Out? Yes, Here's How. - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of emails from women who feel like they are fighting a losing battle. For whatever reason, their husband has indicated that he wants out. Or, he hasn't spoken but it's obvious that he has completely checked out. Of course, the wives don't want a divorce, but the harder they try to ...
Views: 405 - What If My Husband Won't Forgive Me? How Can He Forgive Me For Being So Mean For So Long? - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who have begun to do a lot of self-work either in an attempt to save their marriage or as an attempt to improve themselves. Sometimes, they go into this process thinking that much of the problems in their marriage lie with their spouse. But as they really begin to ...
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