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Articles from Ken Fields | Selfgrowth.com
- The War on Worry - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2013 from Ken FieldsWe like to go to war on things we think are wrong or bad; the war on drugs, the war on poverty, the war against crime. We need to have a war on worry because worry is wrong and bad; it underlies, and may be in part the cause of, crime, drugs and, perhaps, even poverty. What is worry? The word ...
Views: 1195(1 vote) - The Upside Of Anxiety - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2012 from Ken FieldsAnxiety isn’t all bad; it has an upside. Anxiety can be viewed to have a functional use. It is not arising out of nothing for no purpose. Anxiety is a kind of low grade fear; an apprehension. It is a form of caution. It is an awareness of possible threat, of potential danger. This wariness of ...
Views: 1949 - Yoga - The Life Breath Of Generations - by Submitted on Sep 25, 2012 from Ken FieldsYoga is generally considered to be a set of physical postures; often a class to which millions of people throughout the world go to stretch this way and that. Yoga, however, is a much grander philosophy which encompasses not just physical health but mental well-being and spiritual ...
Views: 1607 - Psychosomatic Symmetries - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2012 from Ken FieldsWe know from our own experience about the mind-body connection. For example, if you were to imagine or visualize sucking on a lemon rind, you may very likely begin to salivate. Even though that sucking on the lemon rind is entirely of the mind, it can easily generate bodily responses. It’s ...
Views: 1311 - Learning Learning Styles - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2012 from Ken FieldsYou can’t teach somebody something in English if all they speak is Spanish. Well, you can if you are showing them, rather than telling them. Likewise, if you want to teach effectively, you need to understand the student’s preferred learning style. Some people do really well with wordy ...
Views: 1306 - Fight Or Flight, Or Feeze; Or, Fusion - by Submitted on Feb 02, 2012 from Ken FieldsFor eons, the human organism has been honed and perfected to respond effectively and appropriately to any perceived sense of threat or attack. In modern language, this effective and appropriate response is called the 'fight or flight response.' In lay terms, this means that when we feel ...
Views: 1930(1 vote) - Hurt People Hurt People - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2011 from Ken FieldsPeople who are hurt, specifically in an emotional or psychological sense, tend to hurt other people. Hurt people can hurt people with harsh words, biting comments, derogatory statements, ridicule, condescension, sarcasm, yelling and screaming, cussing and innuendo about family members or ...
Views: 4060(3 votes) - The Pros And Cons Of Black And White Thinkinig - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2011 from Ken FieldsBlack and white thinking is sometimes referred to as absolutist or dichotomous thinking. In this kind of thinking, something is all right, or all wrong, all good, or all bad. If you are not a total success, then you are a complete failure. There is no middle ground, regardless of situation or ...
Views: 6712(1 vote) - Did You Really Choose To Be Here? - by Submitted on Feb 06, 2011 from Ken FieldsI have often heard from some, as you may have too, that you chose to be here, on this planet, at this time, in the circumstances you find yourself. And why did you choose to be here? To learn lessons. Do you believe that? If so, I am going to suggest that you are misinformed. You did not choose ...
Views: 1432 - Are You Psychologically Fit? - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2010 from Ken FieldsWe hear a lot about physical fitness. Every town has at least one, and probably several, gyms. You see people jogging around town and television infomercials are filled with the latest workout program or gadget to help you get into shape. There is no question that physical fitness is important. ...
Views: 4336(5 votes) - Stupid, Fat and Ugly. Or? - by Submitted on Dec 23, 2010 from Ken FieldsWho has not been called stupid, fat or ugly at some time in their life? And, who has not felt hurt by such comments? Even as an adult, to be called any one of those can be hurtful. And, also, to be called the opposite of any one of those would make us feel great. How would you feel if you were ...
Views: 2415(3 votes) - The Parents' Toolkit: Consequences And Reinforcements - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2010 from Ken FieldsOne of the most effective methods parents can use to help modify behaviors of their children, are natural consequences and positive reinforcements. Although consequences can be seen as punishment, and reinforcements as rewards, there are some differences. Natural consequences, sometimes ...
Views: 1670(3 votes) - The Law Of Attraction...And Repulsion - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2010 from Ken FieldsA great deal of what has been said about the Law of Attraction is only half the story. Attraction is one of two forces contained within magnetism. The other is ‘repulsion.’ Magnetism does not operate without both poles. In other words, if you can accept that you are currently attracting the ...
Views: 9887(7 votes) - All Wound Up And Wounded: Some Thoughts On Psychological Healing - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2010 from Ken FieldsIt may be of some surprise that the word 'wound' is used to represent a cut, hurt, abrasion or more serious injury AND that same word can mean tied up tightly, coiled up, or bound as in "I was all wound up with stress." We tend not to think of being wound up and stressed as an injury, or wound. ...
Views: 2914(1 vote) - Love And Boundaries - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2010 from Ken FieldsWe tend to think of love as an all encompassing, overwhelming, positive feeling. We say, “I love you” and think that solves all our conflicts and arguments with our partner. During the initial stages of love, often referred to as an infatuation phase, boundaries are melted and dissolve away. We ...
Views: 3498 - Love And Despair: Recovering From A Break-Up - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2010 from Ken FieldsWhen we are in love, the world is golden and nothing gets us down. When we are out of love, we are desperate to regain those feelings we had while in love. The desperation can be so intense, we find ourselves thinking and doing things we would be ashamed to tell our best friend. The excitement ...
Views: 9267(1 vote) - Individuality is... - by Submitted on Jul 02, 2010 from Ken Fields…in division and duality; in-division-duality: individuality. Although individuality has many redeeming qualities, and is, in fact, one of our major developmental tasks throughout the lifespan, it is as well loaded with problems. Individuality is the source of feeling alone, isolated and ...
Views: 1058 - A Parent's Guide to Childhood Nightmares - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2010 from Ken FieldsChildhood nightmares, or very bad dreams, are not uncommon and often need nothing other than a parent’s consoling embrace to remedy the immediate situation. Nightmares may occur for several reasons. Because children are very impressionable, watching a scary movie at night before bedtime can ...
Views: 1279 - A Parent's Guide to Childhood Anxiety - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2010 from Ken FieldsIt is estimated that about 1 in 8 children experience some form of an anxiety disorder. Anxiety can be mild, and very temporary, as in simply being nervous about an upcoming event, to more severe and long lasting forms such as panic attacks, obsessiveness and traumatic stress responses. ...
Views: 1040 - The Meditation Of Appreciation - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2010 from Ken FieldsHere is a simple meditation that will put a smile on your face….You can do it laying down in bed, sitting up in a chair or in the more traditional cross legged or lotus posture. The meditation of appreciation is basically giving thanks to the many parts of your body that are working. You can ...
Views: 2874(8 votes) - "But" vs. "And" - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2010 from Ken FieldsTwo three-letter words: "but" and "and." In grammatical terms, they are called conjunctions. They bridge two clauses of a single sentence together. In communication (and negotiation), these words are subtle manipulators of exclusion or inclusion. Generally speaking, "but" excludes, denies, ...
Views: 2827(3 votes) - The Self Correcting Family - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2010 from Ken FieldsParents often bring their child (or children) to a counselor or therapist to help "fix" behavioral problems exhibited by the child. These behaviors could be some form of conduct or adjustment disorder, general disobedience, substance abuse, depression, anxiety, relationship issues or any number ...
Views: 1408(1 vote) - The Other Side of Happiness - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2010 from Ken FieldsAs a mental health counselor, I've often worked with depressed individuals. Regardless of whether the individual is a child, adolescent or adult, I often play a little word game with them to help me get a better understanding of their depression. The word game goes something like this... "I'm ...
Views: 1391(2 votes) - The Art of Asking Questions - by Submitted on Feb 25, 2010 from Ken FieldsIf information and knowledge is the currency of today's marketplace, then asking questions is the means of accessing that currency. Knowing how to ask what questions when is important in leadership positions, sales, management, teaching and parenting as well as learning in any field of study. We ...
Views: 1707(4 votes) - Spheres Of Influence - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2009 from Ken FieldsNo man is an island, no woman either for that matter. We are all influenced by our surroundings. Our consciousness is really not our own, but belongs to the environment in which we exist. The appearance of an individual self is an illusion in much the same way empty space appears to be solid ...
Views: 6678(4 votes) - The Danger In Anger - by Submitted on Nov 02, 2009 from Ken FieldsWith a dagger in your hand, or a loaded gun nearby….anger is particularly dangerous. It’s one thing to slam doors, throw plates or simply yell, scream or have a temper tantrum. It’s an altogether different level of concern when weapons are involved. Anger itself is not a dangerous emotion; it’s ...
Views: 1642(2 votes) - Dialing Down Anxiety - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2009 from Ken FieldsThere is little debate that most anxiety is a symptom of internal cognitive/psychological machinations. That is, we are thinking in a way that is generating the anxiety. We think in both mental pictures and internal dialogue and depending on what we are telling ourselves, and what we are seeing, ...
Views: 1963 - The Imperfection of Perfectionism - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2009 from Ken FieldsMany people strive for some form of perfection. Whether in their work, in their appearance, in their relationships, in their expectations of others…There are a number of problems with perfectionism not the least of which it is simply not possible. Perfection is an ideal, which, almost by ...
Views: 1465(1 vote) - The Pros And Cons Of An Open Mind - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2009 from Ken FieldsAn open mind is good thing - most of the time. New ideas, new experience, increased knowledge, personal and professional growth, better relationships and an overall positive approach to life are just a few of the benefits of having an open mind. However, there are some pitfalls. Like an open ...
Views: 10055(2 votes) - Understanding Creative Procrastination - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2009 from Ken FieldsProcrastination has a bad rap. It is a very creative and often useful behavior. Generally defined as putting things off until the last minute, procrastination is also putting things off until the best time. For some, it’s that last minute rush which energizes and motivates. For others, it’s that ...
Views: 1471(2 votes) - Understanding Social Anxiety - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2009 from Ken FieldsSocial Anxiety Disorder (Diagnostic Code 300.23 in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition – DSM IV) is marked by a persistent fear of social or performance situations in which embarrassment may occur along with an immediate anxiety response often reaching the ...
Views: 999 - The Truth About Self Esteem - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2009 from Ken FieldsThe truth is, self esteem is a mental fabrication. It has no objective existence of its own like might a part of the body or something in the natural environment. We can all agree on a person’s height, weight or even how fast he or she can walk a mile. But, there is no way to measure self esteem ...
Views: 2027(3 votes) - Phobia Self Treatment - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2009 from Ken FieldsHere is a relatively simple method you can do which may be effective in helping you overcome anxiety, panic or a phobia. Let’s take as an example a fear of…..swimming. Let’s say as a child you had some negative experiences while learning to swim. Perhaps you were thrown into the deep end before ...
Views: 1647(1 vote) - Do You Need To Be Loved? Or, Love To Be Needed? - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2009 from Ken FieldsI'm sure you have heard couple's of all ages say to each other "I love you." You would probably like hearing it said to you, if it's not already. Sometimes when one person says "I love you" to another person, the response is "me too." I find that an absurd response. What does it mean? That I ...
Views: 3518(1 vote) - Are You Depressed? Or, Is It Something Else? - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2009 from Ken FieldsThere is a saying that depression is anger turned in on itself. That means the anger that you may be holding within your mind has nowhere to go and rather than being expressed outwardly, it is festering inside. Like undigested food that turns putrid, the anger becomes depression. You feel ...
Views: 1052(2 votes) - Anticipating Anticipatory Anxiety - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2009 from Ken FieldsYou’re going to the dentist – and you feel anxious. You’re about to go take a test, and you feel anxious. You’ve been asked to have a meeting with your supervisor, and you feel anxious. You might just be anxious anticipating another day! Anticipatory anxiety is a common discomfort for millions ...
Views: 1548(1 vote) - About Online Counseling - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2009 from Ken FieldsOnline counseling is a relatively new therapeutic service. There are many advantages over the traditional in-person face-to-face therapeutic sessions offered in just about every community. And, of course, there are some cons. As the technology has developed, online counseling has also grown ...
Views: 1918(1 vote) - Understanding Co-Dependence - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2009 from Ken FieldsThe term co-dependence is pretty familiar to many people today. It is a term that arose out of the treatment of alcoholics and refers to how one person, generally a spouse, would benefit in some way by having their alcoholic partner remain an alcoholic. And the alcoholic partner would, of ...
Views: 1311(1 vote) - Understanding Self Sabotage - by Submitted on Oct 10, 2009 from Ken FieldsWhy would anyone want to sabotage their own efforts? It’s a reasonable question. But, a better-phrased question would be what is the motivation and logic underlying self-sabotage. There is little doubt that it occurs. What is often not recognized is that it serves a purpose. There is a ...
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