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Articles from Dr. Anne Brown | Selfgrowth.com
- Sex and Codependents: What Could Possibly Go Wrong? - by Submitted on May 01, 2017 from Dr. Anne BrownSo many women I interviewed when writing my book reported saying yes to sex just to get the sex over with and have the person go away. Others reported saying yes to sex to have the person like them. Others reported gaining weight so they wouldn’t have to say no to dating and sex. Many reported ...
Views: 1435(1 vote) - Common Sense Tools for the Friend of Someone Who is Brainwashed! - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2017 from Dr. Anne BrownMost of us know or have known someone we care about who has come under the influence of a perpetrator using him/her for self-serving purposes. Very smart, educated, healthy people can, for some unknown, reason come under the spell of opportunistic, toxic, and insecure people. It is very ...
Views: 2150 - Common Sense Ways to Stay Friends With a Victim - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2017 from Dr. Anne BrownAre you frustrated with someone you care about who appears to be the victim of a perpetrator? Do you find yourself getting angry for this person? We all have examples of these situations and we often struggle with what to say, how much time to spend with the victim, and how to continue being ...
Views: 1740(1 vote) - 5 Reasons You Need a Backbone to Divorce (by: Dr. Anne Brown RNCS) - by Submitted on Jan 05, 2017 from Dr. Anne BrownNo one plans on getting divorced when they get married, and yet that is a possible outcome for some. If you have spent your life mastering people pleasing, always saying yes, being diplomatic, and putting everyone else's needs before yours, you will suffer tremendously if you are confronted with ...
Views: 1180 - Is it Love or Codependency? - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownHow do I know if I am acting codependent or loving? This is an excellent question and often confusing for many for different reasons. Let’s look at the definitions of codependent and loving and see what we find. Love: An intense feeling of deep affection. For the purpose of this article, we ...
Views: 1751(1 vote) - Why is Giving Up People Pleasing So Difficult? - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownThis question fascinates me because I have observed over many years many journeys where people struggle with this task (myself included.) Let’s take a look at some of my speculations and see what your thoughts might be on why this is so challenging. Our History and Teachings For women, it is ...
Views: 1975(2 votes) - What Our Athletes Can Teach Us About Recovery! - by Submitted on Sep 29, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownThis summer in particular, we had some pretty spectacular athletic competitions in England, France, and more recently, Rio. Whether you follow cycling, tennis or any of the competitions that took place in Rio, it is hard not to be inspired and learn from some of the stories. Stories and ...
Views: 1550(1 vote) - How to Get the Best Out of Your 12-Step Meeting! - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownAttending a support group can be a very positive part of your recovery plan, as long as you understand what is healthy and what is dysfunctional. Let’s look at a few qualities of support groups and what happens when things get out of balance… Similarities vs Enmeshment When I join a support ...
Views: 2278(1 vote) - Reinventing the Concepts of Recovery - by Submitted on Aug 17, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownWouldn’t it be great if we could wave our magic wand and no one would relapse? Until we understand more about addictions (and we have work to do there), we will have to tackle relapse in other ways. Let’s look at a couple of possible breakdowns that might lead to relapse and find some ways to ...
Views: 1295(1 vote) - How The Moon Centers Can Turn A Woman's Life Around - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownMoon Centers. Let’s face it, many women have out-of-control emotions—huge emotional swings that they often blame on PMS, SMS, MPS—whatever! Some people would say it’s easier to just let the emotions rule. Wrong. As a woman, I’m sure that you’d welcome knowing that there are ways other than ...
Views: 1353(1 vote) - Juicy Relationship For Couples: Rules For Creating And Keeping It - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownI could write on and on about what you can do, should do, must do, and could do. We have all been frustrated with and in our relationships especially regarding a juicy relationship for couples. I had one of my students write me an entire letter the other day on all the ways she hated everything ...
Views: 1368(1 vote) - Are You Ready To Die? - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownAre you ready to die? Most people aren’t? Yet if we are not willing to be with death it will hunt us down. Last week I had a gigantic dose of people sitting with death. My contractor’s 10-year-old daughter with an inoperable brain tumor on the brain stem. Next a dear friend called with breast ...
Views: 1241(1 vote) - Clearing Old Thoughts - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownYesterday I was weeding in my back yard and I had a realization. Weeding the yard is so much easier than weeding out our thoughts. Weeding out unwanted thoughts needs tools. What are your tools for weeding out ineffective thoughts? What about ones that actually take you down? Do you have ...
Views: 1278(1 vote) - Managing Energy For Success - by Submitted on Aug 10, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownWhat are the components of successful people? So many people over time have dissected this and put the pieces together backwards and forwards. They have used it to sell courses. The formula has been used to sell everything imaginable. I don’t want to sell you anything. I want to give you ...
Views: 1240(1 vote) - When “Make Nice” Doesn’t Work In Divorce (by: Anne Brown PhD, RN) | DivorceForce - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownUnfortunately, there are several types of people who are going to be contentious in a divorce and they have to be handled differently. And many personnel involved in the divorce process do not prepare or educate the spouse of a contentious person correctly. If you have ever been told or if you ...
Views: 807(1 vote) - 6 Tools for Resiliency in Recovery - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownResiliency and Recovery have a nice ring. The two R’s! Having a backbone makes this process a lot easier. Resiliency is having the ability to adapt in the face of adversity. The more you know yourself, the greater your self-awareness, and the greater your backbone, the greater your chance ...
Views: 1588(1 vote) - The Insidious Killer in Recovery! | Dr. Anne Brown | Recovery.org - by Submitted on May 25, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownLiving without a backbone sets you up for severe consequences in the domains of health, finances, career, friendships, romance, recovery and your dignity for starters. What does this mean? How can this be? It means you don’t know how to advocate for yourself and even worse you have insidious ...
Views: 1445(1 vote) - Divorce Visitation Requests from Your Child (by: Dr. Anne Brown, PhD, RN CS) | DivorceForce - by Submitted on May 16, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownDear Mom and Dad, Please remember my life has been turned upside down and I never had a vote. I don't have a rulebook to negotiate waters totally unfamiliar to me. It is really hard for me to understand that my family has broken up. I feel scared that I will loose one or both of you. I don't ...
Views: 951(2 votes) - 5 Ways to Avoid Court at all Costs! (by: Anne Brown PhD, RN) - by Submitted on May 12, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownDivorce can be ugly. Courts can make it uglier. I think we are all in agreement "settle out of court". How can a couple do that when they are fighting to the extent they are filing for divorce? You are probably going to get tired of hearing me say first always "Fight for your Marriage." 1. ...
Views: 1457(1 vote) - Dos and Don’ts of Visitation From the Therapist! (by: Anne Brown PhD,RNCS) - by Submitted on May 12, 2016 from Dr. Anne Brown"The best security blanket a child can have is parents who respect each other." ~ Jane Bauston Do treat your Children like Gold! Remember you just turned your children's life (and they didn't have a vote) upside down. They now have to decipher new rules, new logistics, probable logistical ...
Views: 1239(1 vote) - Divorce Support: A Curse or a Blessing? (by: Dr. Anne Brown, PhD, RN) - by Submitted on May 02, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownIt really is up to you every day whether you see divorce support as a curse or a blessing! Whether you are the giver or the receiver, I recommend you reframe it as a blessing. Is this easy? Of course not! However, if you actually go through the trauma of getting divorced and you stay married ...
Views: 1456(1 vote) - 5 Signs You Are in an Abusive Marriage (by: Dr. Anne Brown PhD, RN) - by Submitted on May 02, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownAre you controlled or in a partnership? Abusive marriages come in different forms. Most people are quick to think of "physical abuse" but there are definitely other acts of abuse that detriment the wellbeing of individuals at the hands of their domestic partner. 1. Physical Abuse In ...
Views: 1400(1 vote) - 6 Things I Wish I Knew Then That I Know Now After My Divorce (by: Dr. Anne Brown PhD, RN) | DivorceForce - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownWe always hear people say, "I wish I knew then what I know now," so here is some help if you are navigating a divorce now ... 1.Believe in Yourself! Three words that are so powerful they can change any "I can't into "I can". When you hear the words "I want a divorce", there will be times ...
Views: 1793(1 vote) - Should We Get Divorced? (by: Dr. Anne Brown PhD, RN CS) - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownHonor your children by fighting for your marriage and if you decide to divorce, do it with dignity! If you are at the point of asking this question, you have some distinctions to consider. Never threaten your partner with divorce to get his/her attention. Never make the divorce decision ...
Views: 1141(2 votes) - 9 Great Tips from Experts on Divorce Recovery | DivorceForce - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownApril is Divorce Recovery Month! We asked a number of contributors to the DivorceForce Community for their input on "divorce recovery" and here is part 1 of some of the responses we received. **Anne Brown PhD RNMSCS http://www.backbonepower.com - Make a list of 2-3 things you want to be ...
Views: 1258 - Post-Divorce Recovery or Crash Landing (by: Dr. Anne Brown PhD, RN) via DivorceForce - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownIt's April, your divorce papers are signed, and it's a new chapter, scary, exciting, change, and your choice if you recover or crash land! Let's make a list of things to remember. 1. Change is good. 2. Keep a journal. 3. Make a schedule for time when the children are with you AND for when ...
Views: 1238 - Prepare for Divorce (by: Dr. Anne Brown PhD, RN) | DivorceForce - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownDivorce with dignity! Be committed to be on the healing in two years not five year track! Children want to be normal again, not kids of those divorcing parents who are always fighting. Believe in yourself and what the future holds! Lean into the divorce, move through one step at a time, don't ...
Views: 1386 - Dating After Divorce - by Submitted on Mar 25, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownTake the time for a self-journey. Getting on a journey with your self requires courage, consciousness, feedback from a trusted advisor, vulnerability, insight, and the refreshing ability to apologize for starters. Knowing your strengths and challenges, competences and incompetence’s, where you ...
Views: 1015 - Must Read: Dating After Divorce - by Submitted on Mar 20, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownWhether this is your first time in the dating world or you are newly divorced and entering the dating world, there are some steps you can take to help guard against divorce. There are no guarantees and why not do everything you can to live happily ever after with that someone special? Guess ...
Views: 1236(1 vote) - Top Five New Year’s Resolutions To Wake Up America - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2016 from Dr. Anne BrownIt is 2016 and we are seriously off track! 1. Delete Hate Today, beginning today, please, we must all stop saying, writing, cheering, promoting, and engaging in hate. It is such a sign of fear, ignorance, insecurity, prejudice, and an outdated belief. We need different ideas, backgrounds, ...
Views: 1023(1 vote) - How To Beat a Sociopath at His Own Dating Game! - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2015 from Dr. Anne BrownRemember Sociopaths are opportunists and you are at risk for being that opportunity for him. I need five commitments from you if you want to avoid the wake of destruction that comes from dating a Sociopath. 1. Commitment to your Heart: Healing a broken heart takes time in pain and sorrow. ...
Views: 2885 - Robin Williams - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown"There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds." Laurell K Hamilton Mistral's Kiss From the outside looking in, it is easy to say, but he had so much why couldn't he find the help he needed. From the inside looking out, a lot of the ...
Views: 1397(1 vote) - Say No to Killing! - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown"Whenever one person stands up and says, "Wait a minute, this is wrong," it helps other people do the same." Gloria Steinem Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a world where everyone had a strong moral compass? How safe would we all feel if everyone followed the golden rule and treated others, ...
Views: 1289(1 vote) - Breaking Up is Hard to Do!! - by Submitted on Jul 24, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown(A simple way to let go with dignity) "The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread." Mother Teresa If schools had offered a course called "Breaking up is hard to do", I suspect we all would have enrolled. Why aren't we taught these difficult challenges ...
Views: 1358(1 vote) - Say No To The Weight Of Your Past! - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown" Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life." Steve Jobs Someone recently asked me the definition of Codependency, so let's take a look at what we can see to help uncover this complicated phenomenon. The visual I have is someone who is suppose to be driving his own ...
Views: 1286(1 vote) - Denial- Take a Whack at Yours Today! - by Submitted on Jul 08, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown" You will never cross the ocean until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore." Christopher Columbus Denial is a mechanism we use consciously or unconsciously to alter reality, usually to pretend it is better than it is. We don't want to see aspects of life for which we have no ...
Views: 975(1 vote) - Strong Leaders need Strong Minds! - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown(We all need Strong Minds!) "Unless you try to do something beyond what you have mastered you will never grow." Ralph Waldo Emerson The most important asset one can have is a strong mind. Forget all the material things many think are so important and would be lost without; a strong mind is ...
Views: 1497(1 vote) - Strong Minds Accept No Graciously - by Submitted on Jun 10, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown"What we fear doing most is usually what we most need to do." Tim Ferriss How did we become a society that cannot hear the word No? Why are we so sensitive to being told No? There is yes and there is No, there is night and day, dark and light, yin and yang, and on and on. So to be balanced ...
Views: 1442(1 vote) - In America You Are Allowed To Say NO! - by Submitted on Jun 03, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown"Two things define you; your patience when you have nothing, and your attitude when you have everything." In my article on March 2, 2014 and chapter two in my book Backbone Power The Science of Saying No, I speak about the importance of being able to say No when you mean No. After listening ...
Views: 1318(1 vote) - Backbone Power - by Submitted on May 27, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown"If you don't stand for something you will fall for anything." Gordon A Eadie Why do I need a backbone? I just have my simple little life. I don't aspire to be famous. Hmmm! Everyone's simple little life is going to be given an opportunity to take a stand for something, someone, some ...
Views: 1467(2 votes) - ABUSE!! And what would you do?? - by Submitted on May 20, 2014 from Dr. Anne BrownThe Grand Jury file on reports filed against Sandusky in the Penn State Sex abuse scandal illustrates some of the most egregious rationalizing (right up there with the Catholic Church's sexual abuse of children) in our country. There are some people involved who attempted to do the right thing ...
Views: 1345(1 vote) - Bring Back Our Girls - by Submitted on May 13, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown"You must do the things you think you can't do." Eleanor Roosevelt There are women all over the world risking their lives to become educated. We must support them. How can we do that? We must begin to lift the veil of unconsciousness. We can't pretend the emotional/physical abuse that is ...
Views: 1226 - Domestic Abuse - by Submitted on May 08, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown"Never make yourself feel like nothing, to make someone else feel like everything!" Rationalizing has to be prevalent when there is Domestic Abuse because how else could you convince yourself to stay. First you have to recognize that you are being emotionally, physically and or sexually ...
Views: 1316(1 vote) - Rationalizing - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown"You are confined only by the walls you build yourself!" Rationalizing is something we do when we don't want to face the truth. Rationalizing is something we use to make what just happen ok in our eyes. Rationalizing is a tool for survival when things are too bad to ...
Views: 941 - DRAMA - by Submitted on Apr 17, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown“Being honest may not get you a lot of friends and it will get you the right ones.” We all have been there! Maybe you had a friend or you know someone now who is in a big DRAMA! The situation keeps getting worse and you can’t believe the stories… affairs, lying, addictions, bills not paid, ...
Views: 1522(1 vote) - Passion - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2014 from Dr. Anne BrownThere is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.” Aristotle OK we all know this right? And yet how many of us enter into the most intimate relationship with our partners “saying nothing.” For those who still can’t discuss sex, it is time to lift that veil. ...
Views: 1055(1 vote) - Say No to Waffling!!! - by Submitted on Apr 01, 2014 from Dr. Anne Brown“It comes from saying No to 1000 things to make sure we don’t get on the wrong track or try to do to much.” Steve Jobs Are you beginning to see where we need our tools, ability to say No, ability to make requests, ability to speak our truth in order be a good leader, and in order to be able ...
Views: 1363(2 votes) - I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor. ~Henry David Thoreau - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2014 from Dr. Anne BrownKeep making those Requests Making requests may seem like such a simple thing. Of course I do that you say to yourself. Check again it can be the root of many negative emotions especially resentment. I have a friend of many years who as a teenager was experimenting with a rocket that exploded ...
Views: 1559(1 vote)