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Articles from Roni Weisberg-Ross | Selfgrowth.com
- “REAL RAPE” - by Submitted on Jan 19, 2016 from Roni Weisberg-RossThis past weekend I read an article in the New York Times Sunday Magazine entitled “To Catch A Rapist”. It highlighted the work of a dedicated inspector and some of her colleagues in the Special Victims Unit of Law Enforcement in New Haven, Conn. and the repeated roadblocks they come up against ...
Views: 1541 - Selfishness is OK - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2015 from Roni Weisberg-RossSelfishness has a negative connotation in our culture; but it’s not selfishness, it’s a lack of empathy that hurts others. While I am no Ayn Rand acolyte, I do agree with her argument in “The Virtue of Selfishness”. Taking care of oneself is not only reasonable; it is necessary – necessary for ...
Views: 1536 - Families With Abuse - by Submitted on Nov 06, 2015 from Roni Weisberg-RossAbusive situations in families do not happen in isolation. It is neither bad luck, nor is it the fault of the victim of abuse. Abuse happens within a culture of abuse. That is, there is something that is handed down over the generations that encourages those who abuse and allow those around the ...
Views: 1488 - The Disassociation of a Rapist - by Submitted on Jan 23, 2015 from Roni Weisberg-RossWhile I have reposted a couple of articles on the subject, I wasn’t going to write about Bill Cosby or the subject of serial rape; there are enough articles and editorials on this subject. What has now made me decide to join the fray is a recent statement by a friend of his that “this isn’t ...
Views: 1059 - Ritualized Sexual Abuse - by Submitted on Jul 02, 2014 from Roni Weisberg-RossThere is ritual sexual abuse and there is ritualized sexual abuse. The terms are sometimes interchanged, but for the purpose of this article I am delineating between the two as Ritual Sexual Abuse being cult or cult-like abuse in which “the abuse has a spiritual or social goal” (David Finkelhor, ...
Views: 1497 - PARENTS WITH PERSONALITY DISORDERS Aka: Growing Up With Crazy - by Submitted on Feb 28, 2014 from Roni Weisberg-RossHow would you know if you were the only sane person in an insane asylum? Now imagine yourself as a child with no prior knowledge of what is sane or normal. How would a child know if they were a sane person in a family with disturbed parents? A significant part of the trauma of growing up ...
Views: 4387(1 vote) - Facets of Personality and Dissociation - by Submitted on Dec 18, 2013 from Roni Weisberg-RossWhen we feel different than the person we are projecting to others, it can cause stress and sometimes shame. Most of us have felt that way at times, and the ability to integrate again is usually fluid. But when we feel fragmented and fake most of the time, it can be extremely painful and ...
Views: 2238(1 vote) - Childhood Abuse and Adult Survivors: Notes from a Seminar - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2013 from Roni Weisberg-RossLet's begin with the statistics - and they are daunting: Approx. 1 in 4 girls & 1 in 8 boys are sexually abused before the age of 18. Even the most conservative estimates put it at 1 in 6 girls & 1 in 10 boys. It is estimated that as many as 40 million Americans - one in six people - ...
Views: 1514(1 vote) - Child Molester or Pedophile - Is there a difference and what drives them? - by Submitted on Feb 15, 2013 from Roni Weisberg-RossSexual abuse of children is not a new problem, nor have the statistics changed. “1 in 4 girls is sexually abused before the age of 14; 1 in 6 boys is sexually abused before the age of 16.” (Hopper, J. (1998). Child Sexual Abuse: Statistics, Research, & Resources. Boston, MA Boston University ...
Views: 3267(2 votes) - GENDER AND IDENTITY - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossInspired by the life of Lana Wachowski: Gender is defined as a set of characteristics – masculine, feminine or neuter, while Gender Identity is a person’s sense of and private experience of their own gender. Transgender suggests that the state of one’s gender identity does not match one’s ...
Views: 2071 - Attachment Issues In Couples therapy - by Submitted on Sep 14, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossI have always enjoyed therapy with couples. It is stimulating, interactive work and can create dramatic change quickly. By strengthening a couples' communication pattern, you not only help them to improve their relationship, but help them to learn more about themselves and what drives their ...
Views: 2095 - Helping Adults Abused As Children - by Submitted on Jun 06, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossWhen I began working in this field many years ago, I was told that if I hadn’t already picked a specialization, it would pick me. And that is exactly what happened. I worked in a non-profit clinic where we had big caseloads, having to see many more people each week than one would ordinarily ...
Views: 2334 - Couples Therapy With Trauma and Abuse Survivors - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossWe all come into relationships with past issues. Trust, ability to be intimate, anger management, mental and physical health limitations and childhood trauma are among the most common. Each issue colors, although in a different way, how we deal with current stressors and disagreements. This ...
Views: 1582(1 vote) - Somatization: The Secrets Our Bodies Hold - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossOur bodies cry out in two ways - either through emotion or illness. When we understand our body's pain we articulate it. When we can't understand it, we are overwhelmed by emotional and/or physical sensations. And we feel powerless. While we need to understand what is happening to us, we may ...
Views: 1866(1 vote) - When the Abused Becomes the Abuser - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossIt doesn't always happen. But it happens to a large enough degree that it can be referred to as commonplace. A number of studies indicate that between 30 - 70% of young abusers (physical or sexual) have been sexually abused themselves. Statistics on adult abusers who were sexually abused as ...
Views: 14546(1 vote) - Treating Abuse and Trauma - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-Ross"Therapists who work with adults abused as children have one overriding goal, that is to repair the client's self-image. Once the client's self image is repaired, he or she is on the road to full recovery." Eliana Gil - Treatment of Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse If you think it ...
Views: 1572(1 vote) - Group Therapy for Adults Abused As Children - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossGroup therapy can be the most nurturing and also the most challenging form of therapy. It is highly effective. While it doesn’t replace individual therapy, it can be a great adjunct and a final step in the healing process. Group therapy is very relevant for survivors of childhood abuse and ...
Views: 1869(1 vote) - SEXUAL TRAUMA - Loving Your Abuser - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossRecognizing you are being abused is difficult when you love the person who is abusing you. This is true for both children and adults. The mind will go to great lengths to protect a person who cannot emotionally accept that they are being abused. The greater the abuse, the more elaborate the ...
Views: 3845(3 votes) - Elder Abuse, Alzheimers and Our Aging Population - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossWhile taken seriously enough to be a legally reportable offense categorized alongside child abuse as either a misdemeanor or a felony - elder abuse does not seem to be taken as seriously by the public. Perhaps elders do not appear to be as helpless as children, but many times they are. And if ...
Views: 1558(1 vote) - The Emotional Life of Adolescent Abuse: A Daughter’s Poetry - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossThe following words and poetry were written by Kallel Hunter. She has graciously allowed me to share them with you. My name is Kallel and I am 13 years old. I live in the U.K. and have Irish, Jamaican and Barbadian in me. I also have two sisters and 3 brothers. I am the eldest. We ...
Views: 2268 - HOW TRAUMA SHAPES SEXUALITY - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossWhy would a woman who was sexually abused as a child have rape and submission fantasies that sexually excite her as an adult? Why would another woman who suffered physical abuse as a child now enjoy role-playing dominant/submissive sex games? Why would a man raped or taunted by classmates as ...
Views: 8343 - SELF ABUSE - I Hurt Therefore I Am - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossHow can I hurt myself? Let me count the ways. But first let me distinguish between hurting myself and abusing myself. Hurting myself - self-harm is a term commonly used for physically abusing oneself by cutting, self inflicting blows, pulling out hair (Trichotillomania) skin or nails, ...
Views: 3141(1 vote) - Adult Bullies - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-Ross“All cruelty springs from weakness” (Seneca, 4BC-AD65) There are those who say that bullying is behind all forms of violence, conflict, persecution, abuse, harassment, discrimination and prejudice. The recent death of Phoebe Prince, the 15-year-old Massachusetts girl who hanged herself ...
Views: 8307 - Women Battering Men - The Other Side of DOMESTIC ABUSE - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossLet’s begin by talking about Domestic Abuse in general - how it is regarded and dealt with in our culture. As a psych intern I was taught that we must report Child Abuse, Elder Abuse, a credible threat by one individual to physically harm another or a credible threat by an individual to ...
Views: 2872 - SIBLING ABUSE – Children Abusing Other Children - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossEven though there can be life long debilitating psychological effects, sibling abuse may be the most ignored - if not accepted - form of domestic (i.e. sexual, physical, emotional) abuse. Why is this kind of abuse ignored or minimized? There is a lot that is swept under the rug in the guise of ...
Views: 4604(3 votes) - THE ENABLING PARENT - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossA while back, I jotted down some thoughts about a person I called “The Other Parent”. Since then, I’ve been collecting information and have concluded that there is a dearth of material on this subject. But I have expanded upon my initial ideas and hopefully this will be lead to more research ...
Views: 2419(2 votes) - Female Sexual Abusers – Who are they? Part III - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossThere weren’t a lot of statistics, because no one thought it was a problem. But then in 1990, Ramsay–Klawsnick found that adult females were abusers of male adolescents 37% of the time and of female adolescents 19% of the time; and in six studies reviewed by Russell and FInkelhor, female ...
Views: 2112 - MOTHER LOVE / Female Abusers Part II - the psychological impact on daughters who have been sexually abused by their mothers - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-Ross“There is no other closeness in human life like the closeness between a mother and her child. Chronologically, physically and spiritually, they are just a few heartbeats away from being the same person” * This is the darkest secret of them all. It challenges societal expectations and myths ...
Views: 12992(2 votes) - Mother Love / FEMALE ABUSERS - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-Ross“A Social Problem Does Not Exist For A Society Until It Is Recognized By That Society To Exist” – H. Blumer The following is the first of a three-part series of articles: It was in a high school literature class that I was first introduced to the Oedipus Complex, defined as “a boy’s ...
Views: 14004(2 votes) - EMOTIONAL ABUSE : What it is and why it is so important to recognize - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossSticks and stones may break my bones but … bullying and name-calling can emotionally scar me forever. Not the original ending to the classic verse, but probably the more accurate one. It seems that broken bones will heal far more quickly than a battered soul. Does this sound overly ...
Views: 2023 - The Other Parent - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossThe following is not an article but some preliminary thoughts on what may be expanded into one later on: I’ve been experiencing a lot of counter-transference lately with my clients over “the other parent”, especially when the other parent is the mother. You may be wondering who I’m referring ...
Views: 1281(1 vote) - Adult Depression and Childhood Abuse - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossOver the years I’ve discovered that a significant proportion of adult clients who present with depression have a history of childhood abuse. The abuse may have been sexual, physical and/or emotional. At first I attributed this to the fact that I specialize in abuse and many clients who come ...
Views: 2175(4 votes) - Power and Sexual Arousal in the Abusive Relationship - by Submitted on May 25, 2012 from Roni Weisberg-RossWhen we think of children who have been sexually abused, we think of fear, anger and violence. Most sexual abuse survivors talk of the terror and disassociation surrounding the abuse. Many still feel that way as adults and don’t enjoy sex now, even in a loving relationship. But there are ...
Views: 1895 - The Secret... Really Is - by Submitted on Oct 03, 2009 from Roni Weisberg-RossIt took me quite a long time to sit down and watch “The Secret”, which if I recall correctly was all the rage a few years ago. And I probably would have never watched it if a client of mine (I’m a psychotherapist) had not kept urging me. So I viewed it with a jaundiced eye. The first few minutes ...
Views: 1713(5 votes)