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Articles from Janet Pfeiffer | Selfgrowth.com
- How to Stop People From Hurting You - by Submitted on Dec 10, 2014 from Janet PfeifferIf I posed the question, "Who in your life has hurt you?", you might respond with, "Must I limit it to only one?" We've all been on the receiving end of someone's thoughtless behavior - their anger, sarcasm, back stabbing or betrayals. We've been hurt by those we know and love and even some that ...
Views: 1727 - Get Difficult Relationships on the Right TRAC - by Submitted on Dec 03, 2014 from Janet PfeifferFor the most part, I don't associate with people who difficult to get along with. Being a sole entrepreneur, I am not subjected to dealing with obnoxious coworkers, irate customers or demanding bosses (although I am tough to work for but fortunately I get along very well with myself). Socially, ...
Views: 1263 - Intercept Anger Before It Begins - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2014 from Janet PfeifferWe all get angry. It's a normal part of our human experience. Anger is neither wrong nor bad. As with all emotions, it serves a valuable purpose and in this case alerts us to the fact that something is amiss and needs our attention to correct. It is how we choose to express and apply it that ...
Views: 1304 - Family Feuds, Quick Tips to Resolve Them - by Submitted on Nov 19, 2014 from Janet PfeifferFamilies: they can be our greatest source of joy or a never ending cause of stress. Some might like to have a few parts replaced, others may prefer to trade theirs in for a more suitable model. Some are grateful to have a family regardless while others would prefer to travel through life solo. ...
Views: 1371 - The COLTS Method of Instantly Resolving Problems - by Submitted on Nov 12, 2014 from Janet PfeifferWe've all had our share of problems in life, some more than others but problems none-the-less. If you're anything like me, you eventually grow weary dealing with and finding solutions to unpleasant situations. Rather than win the lottery, some might opt to have all of their problems vanish, ...
Views: 1157 - Our Greatest Fear - by Submitted on Nov 05, 2014 from Janet PfeifferAsk anyone: they'll tell you that public speaking is a person's greatest fear. Yet according to a recent article by Steve Nash flying, heights, the dark, intimacy, failure, rejection, spiders, and commitment top the list. Add to that the fear of being alone, losing a loved one (especially a ...
Views: 1245 - Doorbells, Dishtowels, Ducks, and Cake Relieve Anger - by Submitted on Oct 29, 2014 from Janet PfeifferDucks, dishtowels, and doorbells: one wouldn't think they're connected to anger in any way. Cake, on the other hand, is a no-brainer: when upset, eat some. Plain and simple. No one can be angry when stuffing their mouths with a confectionery delight topped with butter cream icing and sugar ...
Views: 1446 - Why Forgiveness is Obsolete - by Submitted on Oct 22, 2014 from Janet PfeifferMy mother has always been an advocate of forgiveness. When I was a child she taught me early on to let go of being angry with people. If a friend hurt me she suggested that perhaps they didn't realize what they had done. If it was a family member, well, families don't hold grudges. And as ...
Views: 1595 - Silent Anger - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2014 from Janet PfeifferIn the late sixties, I married my high school sweetheart. He was a quiet person by nature so when we began having difficulties in our marriage and his response was one of silence I thought it was just his personality. Little did I realize it was a manipulative technique that would eventually ...
Views: 3464 - Finding Joy in Your Darkest Moments - by Submitted on Oct 08, 2014 from Janet PfeifferWhen I was fourteen, my godparents gave birth to a baby boy after twenty years of marriage. The most joyful day of their lives was shattered by the devastating news that their son had Down's Syndrome. Fifty years ago Downs was a death sentence and Robert was no exception. Three weeks later they ...
Views: 1421(1 vote) - How to Stop People From Annoying You - by Submitted on Oct 01, 2014 from Janet PfeifferThey're like mosquitoes on a hot summer night - those irritating and annoying people. They can be found anywhere from our families or coworkers to drivers on the roadways to complete strangers we encounter while on vacation. Their quirky behaviors and annoying habits can ruin our day. Other ...
Views: 1602 - It's Not Fair! - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2014 from Janet PfeifferAt one time or another, we've all complained that life isn't fair. Children do it all the time: Karen, who is older by two years, is allowed to stay up later than her younger siblings. They complain to dad that they're being treated unjustly, not realizing that at the same age her bedtime was ...
Views: 1431 - Who Needs Anger? - by Submitted on Sep 17, 2014 from Janet PfeifferEveryone - we all need anger. The most simple basic definition of anger is that it's an indication that we have unmet needs that have to be addressed, a sign that something is lacking in our lives that we want to satisfy. As with all emotions, anger is normal, useful, healthy, and necessary. ...
Views: 1407 - How Dare You Judge Me! - by Submitted on Sep 10, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI'm reasonably confident in saying that there's not a person on this planet who has not felt unfairly judged at some point. While we may feel justified in imposing verdicts on one another, when we are on the receiving end the feeling can be quite hurtful. It is not uncommon to react with anger, ...
Views: 1841 - You Can Be Angry or You Can Be Grateful But You Can't Be Both - by Submitted on Sep 03, 2014 from Janet PfeifferThere is a over abundance of books, articles, and blogs written on the subject of gratitude but did you know that being grateful is actually an antidote to anger? Gratitude is a conscious state of appreciation, the ability to feel good in the midst of difficulties and disappointments, and ...
Views: 5165 - Depression and Global Consciousness - A Very Unique Perspective - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI recently read an article that described depression as "a psychological reaction to the violent deformities of the modern world." I found that statement deeply provocative and began to ponder it's meaning. "Anger turned inward" doesn't satisfy me anymore. I do not subscribe to the belief that ...
Views: 1479 - Conquering Depression: There is Hope - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2014 from Janet PfeifferRegardless of how many tragedies occur in this country due to mental health issues, for many Americans there is still a stigma attached to those who suffer. Few are willing to openly address the issue. Tragedies such as Adam Lanza's mass murder of over twenty innocent elementary school children ...
Views: 1276 - Healing Anger Natur-ally - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2014 from Janet PfeifferSeveral years ago, I had a client whose nine-year old son had anger issues. His doctor diagnosed him with ADD and suggested medication to quell his angry outbursts. "What do you think?" the mother inquired of me. Not an advocate of prescription medications (with the exception of the most extreme ...
Views: 1414 - PROD Method of Conflict Resolution - by Submitted on Aug 06, 2014 from Janet PfeifferConflict: one of the most feared words in the English language and sadly one of the most misunderstood as well. My mission: to bring deeper awareness to this benign term, to remove all preconceived negativity associated with disagreements, and to reinstate it's position of value in our ...
Views: 1480 - Alternative Healing Modalities for Anger - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2014 from Janet PfeifferWhen I was a child, my mom always utilized natural methods for healing. Fevers were treated with cold compresses to the forehead, sucking on frozen juice pops, and cool baths. Burns were treated with ice, colds with chicken soup. Rarely was medication given to restore health. Even when we ...
Views: 1568 - Debunking Six Common Myths About Anger - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI've been presenting seminars on healing anger for twenty years and it never ceases to amaze me how much misinformation is circulating about one of life's most powerful emotion. I've decided it is time to debunk some of the most common myths. So without further ado, let me begin with... Myth ...
Views: 2231 - Redefining Victimization - A New Approach - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2014 from Janet Pfeiffer"I'm a victim of domestic violence." That's one phrase you'll never hear emanating from my mouth. Even though I spent three years engaged to marry someone who verbally and physically abused me, I never once entertained the thought of myself as a victim. Perhaps it's because I define a victim as ...
Views: 1263 - Forgiveness and Inner Peace - the Connection - by Submitted on Jul 09, 2014 from Janet PfeifferForgiveness: so many misconceptions and misunderstandings; so many who believe forgiveness is reserved for a chosen few or must be preceded with an apology. Still others feel at times that it is impossible or worse, that there are those not deserving of its graces. And so they suffer...all of ...
Views: 1432 - Rumors and Gossip: Damage Control, Part 2 - by Submitted on Jul 02, 2014 from Janet PfeifferThey all complained about the daily gossip that ran rampant among them. Every one participated in it yet ironically no one could understand why they would be targeted. In the fifteen years I worked at the battered women's shelter, both staff and residents criticize those who engaged in rumors ...
Views: 2380 - "Did You Hear About...? A Look at Rumors and Gossip" - by Submitted on Jun 25, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI abhor rumors and gossip. They're petty, destructive, and hateful. Yet, truth-be-told, I have engaged in gossip from time-to-time. I'm not proud of it, just honest. I could try to justify it by saying that I've only done so out of concern for others. Sometimes the sharing of information about ...
Views: 2037 - To Fight or Not to Fight? That is the Question - by Submitted on Jun 18, 2014 from Janet PfeifferDo you enjoy a good fight? I don't but I know some people who do. Regardless of who we are interacting with, differences of opinion, issues , and conflict will arise periodically. Some approach arguments with zest, others with great trepidation, and some avoid them at all costs. There are times ...
Views: 1313(1 vote) - Kids + Divorce + Blended Families = Anger - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2014 from Janet PfeifferDivorce - it's a word that makes me cringe every time I hear it. Mine was thirty-two years ago (not of my choosing) and was one of the most painful periods of my life. Two people brought together in love take a sacred vow to love, honor, and cherish one another for eternity. No one ever says, ...
Views: 2700 - Finding Inner Peace- - by Submitted on Jun 04, 2014 from Janet PfeifferNo matter where you go in life, you'll find that humans share similar goals: we are all seeking happiness, success, good health, wealth, and love. Some are fortunate to acquired some or all of them. And yet as quickly as we obtain them we can lose them or they can disappoint and hurt us. You ...
Views: 1546 - Weak, Meek or Strong: a Biblical Perspective on Anger - by Submitted on May 28, 2014 from Janet PfeifferThe first verse of the Beatitudes in the Bible says, "Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the Earth." Like many others, I always had difficulty with the term meek. To me, it was synonymous with being weak. And yet nothing could be farther from the truth. The word meek comes from the ...
Views: 1812(1 vote) - 13 Quick Questions for Clarifying Anger - by Submitted on May 21, 2014 from Janet PfeifferDo you ever wonder why it's so hard to break a habit? Whether it's biting your fingernails, the way you speak, or your reaction to drivers who cut you off on the highway, old habits die hard. The reason being is that behaviors, when repeated frequently enough, become habitual. We no longer ...
Views: 1661 - Anger in the Workplace - by Submitted on May 14, 2014 from Janet Pfeiffer"One of my coworkers is so annoying! She's always making personal calls when she's supposed to be working. Then when she can't finish her work she asks me for help!" Recently, one of my clients (a mechanic) complained about missing tools. "We are all responsible for our own tools. I keep mine ...
Views: 2152 - Adult Temper Tantrums: the Why's and What's - by Submitted on May 07, 2014 from Janet PfeifferEach one of my children threw one temper tantrum in their lives. As with all toddlers, overwhelming frustration can lead to a meltdown of epic proportions. I was not the kind of mother who would wait patiently until them calmed down. Not me! I walked right up to them, grabbed their shoulders, ...
Views: 2451 - You Can Prevent Bad Things From Happening to You - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2014 from Janet PfeifferIn 1981, the book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People, was released. It chronicled Rabbi Harold Kushner's journey of doubt and fear that arose when his three-year old son was diagnosed with a degenerative disease that would dramatically reduce the length of his life. The following year, my ...
Views: 2064 - Joe Frasier's Got Nothing On Me (Reactive Anger) - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI was an instructor at the Learning Annex in NY City for many years. Classes ended at 9 pm and the ride home was a long one. One evening, after teaching an anger management course for three hours, I pulled into my driveway around 11 pm, exhausted and anxious to crawl into bed. I pulled my car ...
Views: 1404 - How to Always Be Right and Win an Argument Every Time - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2014 from Janet PfeifferDisagreements - those annoying irritations that throw a monkey wrench into our otherwise blissful lives and disrupt any possible chances we have of experiencing serenity and joy. Augh! "Why can't people simply agree with me, even if they don't, and just allow us to coexist peacefully? But, no - ...
Views: 3772 - How to Pray When You're Angry - by Submitted on Apr 08, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI begin each day in prayer. It is a vital part of my life. Mine are not the typical "gimme" prayers. I have matured beyond the childish requests of wanting my every wish granted. (With the exception of - I'm still praying for that pony for Christmas!) I've learned that what I'm seeking may not ...
Views: 1421 - 7 Communication Strategies to Reduce Anger and Conflict - by Submitted on Apr 02, 2014 from Janet PfeifferWhy is it so hard to talk to one another? Unless you're a recluse, it's something we all do every day. Perhaps because I'm a motivational speaker, author, and radio host I can talk ad infinitum. I actually find it enjoyable and relatively easy. Yet there is a significant difference between ...
Views: 1722 - Four Simple Ways to Reduce Stress - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2014 from Janet PfeifferAs I entered the room I could feel the tension of the forty-eight individuals seated at the oblong conference tables. I was about to present a workshop to these teachers on managing stress. Conditions for educators across the nation have become increasingly more demanding as states mandate more ...
Views: 1055 - A No-Win Situation: What to Do When You're Caught in the Middle - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2014 from Janet PfeifferWe've all found ourselves in situations where we feel as though we're caught between a rock and a hard place. Faced with making a necessary decision, our choices are less than favorable and all options have potentially serious consequences. Your best friend confides that she's having an affair ...
Views: 3011 - Three Key Strategies For Reducing Anger - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI see clients ever week who ask me to teach them how to control their tempers. "I'm not the person to help you with that. Controlling anger can be hazardous to your health and to the safety of those around you." Most often, they stare at me in disbelief. "Controlling anger takes an enormous ...
Views: 1291(2 votes) - Sarcasm: Is It Humor or Something Sinister? - by Submitted on Mar 05, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI hate sarcasm. It's rude, hurtful, and offensive. Yet I have met many people who insist that it is humorous. "Sarcasm can be funny, " my friend John told me. "I beg to differ", I replied. "There is nothing funny about saying something hurtful to another person." "Yes, but...", he continued, ...
Views: 2057 - Tough Advice About Anger - by Submitted on Feb 26, 2014 from Janet PfeifferEverybody gets angry, even me. Professionally, I've been helping people understand and reduce their anger for twenty years. And in all honesty, I do practice what I preach. I experience far less anger and frustration than I did when I was younger, perhaps some of which is due to age. People ...
Views: 1271 - The High Price Tag of Anger: What is it Really Costing You? - by Submitted on Feb 19, 2014 from Janet PfeifferThere's no doubt: anger takes its toll on every facet of our lives. From on the job, to our personal relationships, to our health and overall enjoyment of life, destructive anger can wreak havoc in our daily lives. On the job it cost businesses over $4.2 billion, yes -billion, a year. ...
Views: 2096(1 vote) - One Secret That Will Redefine Your Marriage - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI've been assisting couples and former couples professionally for nearly thirty years. Regardless of who comes into my office, there seems to be one common thread - people are seeking to learn how to better get along with one another. Their usual approach is to inform me of everything that's ...
Views: 1141(1 vote) - From Once Upon a Time to Happily Ever After, Relationship Series, Part 1 - by Submitted on Feb 05, 2014 from Janet Pfeiffer(First of 2 part series) Like the old song "Love and Marriage" says, the two simply go together. Yet with the divorce rate over 50%, the notion of happily ever after seems to be reserved for Disney movies. Some couples believe that as long as they love each other they will somehow find a way ...
Views: 1323(1 vote) - More Meaningful Than Happiness - by Submitted on Jan 29, 2014 from Janet PfeifferGo on Amazon. Do a search for books on happiness. You'll find over 15,000 titles. Everyone wants to be happy and some need help finding it. Some even believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. We seek people and things that will fulfill this dream. "I want to marry someone who's going to ...
Views: 1269 - Fatal Mistakes in Conflict Resolution - by Submitted on Jan 22, 2014 from Janet PfeifferFew people I know like to the process of resolving disagreements. In fact, when they hear "conflict" they automatically equate it with fighting. Yet one is not comparable to the other. Conflict is simply two forces in opposition. Fighting is defined with such words as "violent, battle, combat, ...
Views: 2039(1 vote) - Aggression and Anger: the Human/Canine Connection - by Submitted on Jan 15, 2014 from Janet PfeifferI've been blessed in my life. I've had eighteen dogs, all of whom were sweet and loving. I've never had an aggressive dog with the exception of one - Huggy Bear. Huggy was a black Great Dane that came to us when he was just a pup. Big floppy ears, giant paws, and a single white spot on his chest ...
Views: 1400 - The Antidote to Anger: Best New Year's Resolutions Ever! - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2014 from Janet PfeifferAt the beginning of every new year millions of adults make resolutions to improve some aspect of their life: quit smoking, lose weight, save more money, spend time with family and friends. Though well-intentioned, few actually follow through and achieve their desired degree of success. While ...
Views: 2259 - Peace on Earth: Beyond the Season - by Submitted on Dec 11, 2013 from Janet PfeifferAh, the holidays! A wonderful time of the year for many reasons: the birth of Jesus, Christmas decorations, the exchanging of gifts, families coming together to celebrate, and holiday carols that remind us of "peace on Earth, good will towards men". It' s a lovely sentiment that for most seems ...
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