This article could easily be called 50 turn offs for men because there are that many, but I’ll stop at ten, I promise (fingers crossed).

1. Marriage Hungry

Epic stories have been written throughout the ages about the vast difference between men and women, their attitudes, their thought processes, their sexuality. And for the most part, the differences do exist.

Consequently, women can meet a guy and within 30 minutes think of wedding bells, marriage gowns, china patterns and the sounds of little junior gurgling and cooing. Men on the other hand, meet women and within fifteen minutes figure out whether or not they want to have sex with her.

Men are very cognizant of a woman’s desire to marry and most of them know going into a relationship that marriage will be broached if they date long enough. They are reluctant, though, to be pressured about it, nor have numerous hints thrown at them. If you date them long enough, they will indeed, think of marriage, though not necessarily in a good way.

Men size women up as they date, consciously and unconsciously comparing them to mom, determining how well they’ll fit in with the rest of the family and their ability to deal over the long term with the following traits and habits the woman may exhibit. Traits and habits such as:

2. Drama

At the slightest whiff of drama, a lot of men run for the hills. Constant bickering, chaos and drama in any form is toxic to a relationship. Most partnerships encounter difficulties at some point, but that’s where core communication skills come in. Overly melodramatic women, tears, screaming and object-throwing are usually anathema to men, and men find themselves out-maneuvered during a display of drama.

3. Clingy – No confidence

Men are intrigued by confident women, women who know what they want out of life and who not only have high self-esteem, but their own lives and aren’t dependant upon someone else’s life. Being natural hunters, a number of men love the thrill and excitement of the hunt – convincing a woman that’s he’s the right guy for her. Clingy women on the other hand, are considered drags on a relationship. They require too much assurance, too much attention and entirely too much time. The average guy isn’t comfortable having to explain his every move to a clingy woman with no confidence, who is under the impression she must monitor his every move. Men tend to view these women as potential stalkers.

4. Nagging:

Blah, blah, blah, blah. That, my dears, was the sound of nagging. Blah, blah, blah. And that’s what men hear when women constantly nag. Blah, blah, blah. When women constantly remind them of this, that or the other in that whiny voice. BAM! That, was the sound of the door slamming on the guy’s way out.

5. Non-listeners

Men aren’t the greatest listeners on the face of the earth. No offense to any guy reading this, but ScienceDaily (11/29/00) states that “Men listen with only one side of their brains, while women use both, according to information on brain imaging presented Tuesday, Nov. 28, at the 86th Scientific Assembly and Annual Meeting of the Radiological Society of North America (RSNA).” Having said that, men expect women to listen whenever they speak and they also expect women to be mind-readers from time to time and understand their non-verbal communications. While that doesn’t sound fair, men have no problem dismissing women who don’t listen closely nor try to understand “guy-speak.”

6. Bitter

If you’re dating Bob but still incredibly angry over the way your last several partners treated you, please cease dating Bob. Bitterness isn’t just one of the biggest turn offs for guys, it’s a turn off for most people. Yes, things were ugly during your last relationship; yes, you were treated unfairly; yes, he was a pig. But all that says is that you have issues to deal with before beginning any new relationships. Date yourself for awhile and figure out all those hidden little boogers your need to dispel before embarking on any new adventures in romance. No guy wants to hear what a rat your last boyfriend was, nor try to constantly figure out what’s wrong with you. Believe me, anything on the inside is bound to show up on the outside at some point.

7. Unkempt

A woman with a ton of layered make-up, ratty hair and food-stained clothes probably won’t keep a guy for long, unless he’s just as unkempt as she is. But if you’re aiming higher, please take time to be presentable.

8. Attempts to Change Him

While there are very few people completely satisfied with themselves, women and men, no man likes feeling inadequate and being constantly told that he’d somehow be “better” if he changed. Constant attempts to change him, to make him into something he isn’t are bound to fail and breed resentment.

9. Promiscuous

The average guy likes a woman who is bold and adventurous in bed, a woman with little inhibition and some knowledge during the sexual act. However, most men don’t want to feel they’re dating the neighborhood hooker. Generally when men feel they’re dating someone less than “sterling” in character, they move the woman from “marriage material” to the “hook-up” category. Bringing her home to meet mom is no longer viable.

10. Lying

Lying shows such a lack of integrity and undermines the foundation of a relationship. Since relationships are built on trust, lying tears apart the fabric of that trust and raises the specter of suspicions. Little white lies, such as saying you like your guy’s poem are understandable –you don’t want to hurt his feelings and it was soooooo sweet he took the time to write it for you. But on the whole, lies are detrimental, and once caught in one, it’s hard to take it back.

Keep these ten turn offs in mind when you enter into your next relationship or, check your present one to ascertain if you’ve already made any missteps.

Originally published at

Author's Bio: 

Mari Lyles is a certified Life and Relationship Coach, having graduated IPEC (Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching) and RCI (Relationship Coaching Institute). Her articles can be found at and