Can I have expectations in my life?
Absolutely you can. But for many expectations set are unrealistic and when their expectation is not met it forms resentment.
A friend was sharing recently when she was a child, her mother set expectations for how she should behave. The expectations were not age appropriate nor did the mother provide any guidance on how she should meet this expectation. The mother gathered resentments and my friend felt growing up that she was a huge disappointment for her mother. That is a lose-lose situation.
So, how do you set realistic expectations versus unrealistic expectation?
What I don’t expect is to hit lotto, lose 25 pounds in 6 weeks or my daughter to graduate as Valedictorian at Harvard (she’s only 13 now!). That is setting me up for resentment. How often I see people set an expectation and if it’s partially met; they consider it a failure. My heart goes out to the college graduate who earned their degree but they feel they disappointed their parents by not graduating at the very top of their class because that’s their parent’s expectations.
For me, my expectations are fully centered on right living. If I live each day treating others by the Golden Rule, living a life of purpose and not causing wreckage; my expectation is that day will be a great day. My experience has proven this is true!
If I string along many of these type of days; my expectation is that my life will get better. Over the years, my experience has been that if I live this way; life not only gets better it expands. By expanding, I mean that life will open up for me. New experiences, people and events will come into my life. For me, I have found my life journey change from the path I was headed down to one I believe The Big Guy wants me to head down. Now ladies, That’s exciting!
This is a journey of faith. Faith that I just need to live my life the way I believe The Big Guy wants me to live. This means I do the footwork; I can’t sit in my Lazyboy waiting for it to be handed to me. Nor can I wait for the burning bush to appear advising me on exactly what I need to do. Based on what I know today, I need to make decisions and I need to take action.
And doing that, I've come to believe what Socrates said hundreds of years ago: "A life well lived is a life worth living".
Debbi Dickinson has been a single divorced mother for 9 years. She has a teenage daughter. Debbi is also a recovered alcoholic for 9 years who’s marriage didn’t survive her getting sober.
Newly sober and divorced she struggled with reclaiming her life and writes about her experiences in her blogs. Through her own mistakes, she shares her experience, strength and hope for the bright future which today she now enjoys.
She is intimately familiar with the struggles of single parents endure whether it’s answering our children’s questions about divorce, spending holidays alone or finding love again. She also tackles topics such as dealing with ex-spouse, setting boundaries and steps to reclaiming You!
Debbi is widely published including being regularly featured in Huffington Post.
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