The Meeting Behind the Meeting

The Meeting Behind the Meeting

By Ruth Haag

When we were having our buildings restored, we had four separate contractors on the site. One day I arrived, and the carpenters told me why they were working on a different room from their plan for the day; it was because they were making room for the plumbers. I asked how they had come to this agreement, since none of the contractors had worked together before. The carpenter replied, “If you want to get the job done, you find a way to get along.”

When front-line people meet, it is about the work.

WHEN THE STATED AGENDA IS NOT THE REAL AGENDA

While front-line people really just want to get work done, higher-level people often have meetings more for staging and positioning than for actually deciding on work products.

MEETING USED FOR POSITIONING

Many meeting tricks are used by people seeking to assume a superior position:

• Be the person who calls the meeting
• Have the meeting at your office
• Have a really nice conference room
• Start, summarize and end the meeting

If they can accomplish all of these things, then the meeting was really to establish their control, not what was stated on their agenda.

MEETINGS USED TO DESTROY SOMEONE

Some meetings that are called to “get an airing of a problem,” are really to have some poor person state the problem, so all of the other people can attack them.

When a meeting of this type is set up, it has two main features:
• The room is artificially loaded with opponents of the poor victim, and
• The topic is innocently and disingenuously something like “safety” or “cooperation”

As the meeting unfolds, the unwitting victim is set up for public humiliation. Surviving such meetings, when you are the intended victim, calls for experience, tact and grace.

MEETINGS USED FOR LOBBYING

If you have a strong position on something, you can use each meeting you attend to state your thoughts, even if it isn’t on the agenda. Your statements can trigger a trail of messages about your positions and ideas, by others who think like you.

MEETINGS USED FOR DATA GATHERING

I always like to go to meetings with new groups of people simply to gather data. I like to watch how people position themselves, and I like to listen to what people are concerned about. I look for all of the meetings behind the meeting.

You must prepare for the real meeting, not the meeting on the agenda. Try to figure out the real reason for the meeting, and come ready.