The Importance of making Time for One Another

No matter if you are married, live together, live apart from each other, or you are in a long distance relationship; it is important to make some time for just the two of you. Our days can be filled quickly with the day to day responsibilities of work, family and household duties. Those responsibilities can quickly consume your day and night and before you know it, your free time exists only in your sleep. We can get so tired and worn out from everything else, that by the time you can enjoy each other’s company, all you can do is say goodnight at best. If this scenario gets out of hand, we can lose touch with our loved one and either or both of you will begin to feel neglected, undesired, and even unappreciated. It is at this time our relationship can become susceptible to influences and issues that normally would not have affected you before. At some point it could even get to a serious point of irreparable decline.

One of the most important needs we have as humans is the stimulation we get from other people. Happiness itself is partly derived from the relationships we have with other people. If the person we value the most is unavailable to us, then we can quickly find ourselves slipping into the darkness of unhappiness or even into a gradual depression. The best cure for the blues is to be around someone we enjoy being with, but being around them isn’t all we need, we need their attention. Being in the same room with our partner while they are consumed with work or other things isn’t going to provide us that happiness, it is going to require them to be there in body and mind.

If you have kids, then you have to spend quality time with them so they have their social needs met from their parents. But mom and dad need their own time as well. Both of you should spend time with the children, hopefully together, but then put them to bed at a reasonable time so the two of you can have your time. Make the same devotion to each other as you did in the beginning of the relationship for the benefit of the relationship, yourselves as individuals, and so your children can see what a healthy relationship looks like. We want our children to have the best in life, and be successful, but we can sometimes overlook the fact that they are learning from us not only about life and responsibilities, but also how to have a relationship. When the kids are up and around the two of you, make sure you are nice and loving with each other, so they see how to treat their significant other when they grow up. Let them see you hold hands, and help each other with the household chores. Let them see dad be a gentleman and put mom first. Give them a chance to learn and have a healthy relationship of their own some day. Don’t teach them to yell at their partner and call each other names or stay apart in different rooms.

Some of us have crazy work hours that can keep us from our family and our love. Sometimes we have to work more than one job or long hours at one job, and it can suck the energy right out of us and leave us with little to offer our partner. The bills we have and the responsibility to the family may dictate that we have no choice but to continue this way. While this can be unavoidable sometimes, the two of you still need the stimulation of each other’s company. So no matter how tired you are all the time, or how busy you are, you must make that time for your partner somewhere. This time can be during a lunch, coffee or even a bathroom break to text or call your partner. Even the littlest of efforts can be seen as grand gestures and highly appreciated by the ones we love. Go straight home when you leave work, splash water on your face if you need a little energy and spend even a few minutes with each other talking. Listen to each other so you both feel valued and important. You don’t need to try to solve each other’s issues, in fact most of the time neither of you want or need any input, we just need to be able to talk and have the person we love to care and listen.

If the two of you truly care and value the relationship you have, then both of you can find the time throughout the day and night to dedicate to each other. Phone calls, emails, and text messages should be used whenever that time cannot be spent in direct company of each other. When you can piece together a few minutes or more when you are in each other’s company, then you should grab that opportunity to be together. If your current schedules do not allow for that, then it is time for the two of you to decide what needs to be removed from your schedules to make that time. If you feel that romance and intimacy have left your relationship, then you should start here. The lack of romance or intimacy is a symptom of other issues, and realizing that and working to correct the real issue will allow the two of you to be intimate once again.