Are you lucky?

Or do you ever think to yourself: that’s just how it is; I live under a dark cloud; it never comes easy; this always happens to me; it’s just been one of those days; life’s hard.

Studies show that 10% of our lives is completely random. The other 90%, according to psychologist and author Richard Wiseman, PhD, is actually defined by the way you think.

“Being in the right place at the right time is actually all about being in the right state of mind,” says Wiseman in his 2003 book The Luck Factor.

How would you describe your state of mind?

A person who is relaxed, at peace and confident is more likely to see the opportunities presented to them and see the bigger picture. It’s not about luck, but about being open to all that life has to offer.

Someone who is frustrated, discontent or stressed tends to stay focused on those feelings and what’s causing them. All interactions are seen through that filter, so that we actually expect to keep having a bad day or even a bad life.

Do you expect to have a wonderful life filled with peace and ease? Or is life full of struggle and strife? What is the hidden belief behind your expectations?

“When our expectations are a primary factor in the way we think, speak, and listen, disappointment becomes a way of life,” says Rhonda Britten, author of Fearless Living and founder of the Fearless Living Institute. “And expectations make everything seem personal, but no one is doing anything to you. You are reacting to your own fear.”

Expectations of bad luck are all about playing the blame game. Instead of taking responsibility for the things we can affect and control, we tuck our tail and blame our bad luck. Plus we begin to fear having more bad luck.

Instead of being an “unlucky” person, what type of person do you want to be? Do you want to be loving, compassionate, fun, joyful, giving? What do you value most in you or other humans?

These qualities or values have nothing to do with luck. They are a state of being. Shifting from luck to a state of being isn’t difficult, but it does take your attention and focus. That focus comes from creating an Intention Statement.

For example, if I want to focus on love -- be a more loving person instead of an unlucky person -- I’d create an Intention Statement of “I am willing to be more loving,” or “I am willing to practice love.”

“Intention is living purposefully. On purpose, with purpose. Proactively, responsibly and intuitively,” says Britten. “Rather than the little details of life dictating your every decision, choices are aligned with your essential nature (as a human being).”

Your Intention Statement becomes your filter of the world.

Of course, you may have years and years of evidence telling you that you’re unlucky. That’s what humans do; we build evidence to prove that we are right. As you begin practicing with your Intention Statement, your mind is still going to want to build bad-luck evidence. It wants to prove that your old filter was right.

“Becoming aware of how your brain interprets events is important if you truly want to change your life,” Britten says.

To begin to change your interpretation and build new evidence, Britten recommends writing five gratitudes and five acknowledgments every day.

Gratitudes are like counting your blessings. However, if you are beginning to live by an Intention Statement dealing with love, you’ll want to create more awareness about love. Plus you’ll want to be very specific to really help your brain change it’s filter.

Gratitudes about love may look like: Today I am grateful to see the young mother smile so lovingly at her daughter; today I am grateful that my server at the restaurant took such good care of me when I asked for more butter; today I am grateful for the woman who helped me find my missing gloves.

Those are all examples of love ... love of family, love of work or service, love of humanity. Gratitudes aren’t about how you are being loving, but about how you are witnessing and receiving love.

For someone with a bad-luck filter, the day may look more like this: my mother never smiled at me like that; any good waitress would’ve brought enough butter to begin with; I’m always losing things.

Which interpretation would you choose? Which filter best serves you?

Think back to a day you wore a brand new outfit or just got your hair cut. When someone gave you a compliment, did you strut a little bit more? Did you hold your head a little higher and smile a little more? Didn’t you feel great? Your whole perspective of the day soared, and maybe you even felt like you could take on the world!

Wouldn’t it be great to live with that filter almost every day of your life? Another way to support that shift is by journaling five acknowledgments each day. Acknowledgments are compliments to you, for you, from you.

Britten says to acknowledge yourself for the small steps on your journey, “Any new thought you think, any new action you take, any new way of being is an opportunity to stop and praise your willingness to change.”

Acknowledging yourself helps build momentum and nurture success. Like the gratitudes, it works well to focus your acknowledgments on your Intention Statement.

Acknowledgments about love may look like this: today I acknowledge myself for smiling at the grocery store cashier; today I acknowledge myself for reading to my son before bed; today I acknowledge myself for thinking about forgiving my sister; today I acknowledge myself for taking a nice long, luxurious shower.

Again, you are building evidence and awareness of love and shifting away from that bad-luck filter. You are complimenting yourself for giving more love to the people around you and giving more love to yourself. You are training your brain to shift bad-luck expectations into something that is more productive in 90 % your life.

That’s 90% of your life! Instead of reacting to bad luck you become the creator of your reality, mindfully building momentum, trust and confidence along the way.

“Stand in the awareness that good things are happening in your life because of you, not despite you,” says Britten.

Practice these tools for at least one week to see if there is even the smallest shift in your perspective. Journal those shifts as you practice being the type of person you want to be instead of blaming bad luck. Intentions, gratitudes and acknowledgments are your tools for training your brain to use your new, empowering filter.

Then, commit to another week or even a month, and note the changes in your relationships and your life. You will be amazed how your luck seems to change, and your journal of gratitudes, acknowledgments and shifts will help you remember your journey in black and white.

“Positive memories make (people) feel happy and lucky and this, in turn, causes them to think about other times when things worked out well for them,” says Wiseman. “Instead of spiraling downward, they find their memories and moods work together to make them feel luckier and luckier.

Author's Bio: 

JJ Frederickson is a Certified Coach and Trainer with the Fearless Living Institute ( She was formerly a newspaper reporter, local on-air personality and small-business owner. In 2005 she hired a Life Coach to balance motherhood and her career. The coaching experience completely transformed her life, and she's now a Life Coach with the mission of helping others bring ease into their homes ( and lives (