So much of our time is spent fixing problems: problems at work, issues with our loved ones, concerns with our health, our weight, our finances. You name it, 90% of our waking hours (and so many of our sleeping ones as well) are spent in having yet another problem brought to our attention, with its clamoring need; “Fix me, Fix me!”

But what if, just for this Valentine’s Day, you shifted your attention to “What’s right with” – well, everything? What’s right with your work, your loved ones, your body, your finances? And on and on.

There is nothing more loving than aiming a healthy dose of “what’s right” at all those in your life. Think about it. When was the last time you looked at your spouse/significant other with “what’s right” on your mind? Oh sure, you love them, and that’s great, but in the ordinary course of life, how often do you deliberately dwell on what’s right with them? What’s wonderful about them, what thrills you to the very marrow of your bones?

As opposed to noticing the minor irritations we invariably inflict on those we love. You know, the messy bathroom, the forgotten dry-cleaner’s items, the missed dinners/soccer games.

And how about yourself? How often do you stop to appreciate all that is right with you and how you lead your life? Of course there are areas you want to improve, maybe parts of yourself and your life you’d like to radically transform, but there are also lots of parts of you that deserve appreciation, acknowledgment of “rightness.”

For example, the very fact that you want to improve, that you aren’t interested in putting up with those times you fail to be the kind, considerate, understanding human being you know you’re capable of being. That you want to achieve what you know you’re capable of, not the mediocrity you currently wallow in. That’s lots of rightness right there. Not to mention your taken-for-granted abilities, like your sense of humor (yes, that’s an ability), your loyalty to your friends, the skills you’ve learned along the way, and so much more.

Life is meant to be enjoyed, appreciated, and a large part of that is loving those who inhabit our world. This Valentine’s Day, look at your world, your co-workers, your boss, your nears-and-dears, even yourself, with new eyes--eyes that see what’s right with it all, and watch your love-quotient expand exponentially.

Then, be really daring, and see if you can’t, one day at a time, shift your focus to “what’s right” until it becomes a habit, vastly increasing your enjoyment of this fabulous adventure called “Life!”

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Author's Bio: 

Noelle C. Nelson, Ph.D., is a psychologist, relationship expert, popular speaker in the U.S. and abroad, and author of over a dozen best-selling books. Dr. Nelson focuses on how we can all enjoy happy, fulfilling lives while accomplishing great things in love, at home and at work, as we appreciate ourselves, our world and all others. She is the author of “Happy Healthy…Dead: Why What You Think You Know About Aging Is Wrong and How To Get It Right” (MindLab Publishing) You Matter. You Count. You Are Important. Visit,, #MeetTheAmazings, @drnoellenelson