As we walk through the various aspects of our lives, do we consciously recognize who we are, and do we know what we want, or do we sit back and wait to see what happens?

Are we leading our lives, or are our lives leading us?

There is no question that life has gotten extremely busy for most people. Between your job, home, family, and friends, where’s the time for your passion; your personal passion?

Of course, you want to be your best at work, and with your family and friends, but what about you?

Are you still sitting back and waiting for someone to come into your life, or are you allowing someone else’s dream to take hold and attach to you? Now, is his dream your dream? It’s easy to do! You enter into a relationship and everyone has to make sacrifices. The question is, how much?

Are we living our dream, or are we living theirs?

People have been doing compromise for ages. That’s how people get along! Hopefully, if you chose well, many of your goals and passions are very similar; still, there has to be time for you. Without your time, your passion being served, your purpose, you can become bitter, depressed, or disappointed. Even if you’re switching up your dreams and passions for someone you love, you deserve a little ‘you’ time…for whatever makes you feel complete.

As for ‘things’…well, you deserve those, too!

This is not to say that you should get every ‘thing’ you want, but allow yourself some niceties. Why? Because. You’re special.

So, do you wait for what you want out of life…until…or when…or if….the right career, person, situation comes into your life, or do you offer yourself the luxuries of life; the ‘bling’ of such things as nice clothes, new furniture, and special moments? Do you give yourself permission before the 401K is fully stocked for the future or until Mr. Right presents himself?

As one single girl speaks to so well, people need to wonder if they should be waiting to capture the finer things in life. This might sound very different from my usual advice, but it’s not. I believe in being thrifty, while also giving myself moments.

I remember feeling these same emotions in the past, when I was single; in fact, in the present, too, but in a different way. The problem with the scenario of waiting is that so far, my single years add up to more than my relationship years. So what was I waiting for?

Here’s my thought on the matter:

I wish I would have spent a little money and time on myself; not bypassing my bills, but by adding myself to the pay list.

I remember, clearly, my best friend telling me (in my mid-thirties) that I deserved more than Walmart, Kmart, and Payless, as I move through my shopping experiences. I needed to up my standards of personal care.

So, what did I do…well…I went shopping!

I spent way too much money one Saturday night buying clothes that I loved. I allowed myself to splurge on better quality clothing, regardless of my future. Giving to myself was unusual for me, so this night was memorable.

And you know what…I felt awesome!

Macy’s may not be considered a ‘high-end store to most, but the moment changed me. I’m not knocking those other stores (which I still shop), but I should have gone to Macy’s, Kohls, or other ‘high-end’ stores to ‘splurge’ on myself every once in a while. I learned that I deserved a pair of pants that have a silky feeling on the leg, or the sheets with a thread count higher than one-hundred and fifty, and I deserved a bra that fit! (cracking myself up)

Sure, I didn’t change completely; however, I do know when I’m splurging on myself for something nice and new versus buying a handful of tedious items just to pacify a need for something new. I know when I’m shopping for the biggest bang for the buck versus the hesitant, exciting new purchase.

Still, habits are what they are. This moment was years ago and I probably just got rid of the last of those clothes. I even had the same living room furniture for eighteen years before I decided to buy new! Why should I…there was nothing wrong with the set I had! Best news is that I gave that living room set to a mother in need. No tedious toss into the landfill!

I have a hard time getting rid of things because I still have work to do on myself.

Yes, there, I said it. I have work to do on myself.

Even with the knowledge that we deserve the best that we can afford, I still hold onto the fact that everything has a life span, and you don’t toss the item out until it can’t be used anymore…by someone. That’s just the way I roll! J

Anyway, don’t wait to splurge on yourself. Give yourself permission to add yourself to the pay list. You never know what the future holds and you can’t take it with you. Take stock in your future and enjoy the present.

All the best,


To read more on dating, relationships, family and friends, check out my book, Loving with Purpose.

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Author's Bio: 

KIMBERLY MITCHELL is the author of Loving with Purpose and writer of articles for such venues as her blog,,, and other websites offering advice. As an entrepreneurial relationship contributor and a student of life, she believes that good or bad, personal experience is the best teacher.

Her history of talents range from producing and presenting instructional material and business solutions for business leaders, including management and leadership courses, personal development, diversity, and technical training, to website creation and graphic design of company newsletters, brochures, websites, and educational material. Her work in human resources, along with her technical ability, provided her opportunities to combine those skills, expanding her efforts to achieve success personally and professionally.

Today, Kim has taken the long road of putting what she knows to paper. She has received so much more from the experience than she ever expected and she's thankful for the opportunity to contribute. All she wants is to see palpable change in the way people treat each living and loving with purpose.

Kim lives in Ohio with her husband, along with other family members and friends. For more information about relationships, please visit