The Art of Releasing

Everyday people struggle with not only their own problems, but those of their loved ones as well. You help out through moral support, or financial support. Sometimes it really doesn’t matter how much you help; there are times when it just seems endless. It’s called selfishness. That is defined by someone having the capabilities and the know how to make it on their own, but choose to have other people pay for them, either financially or emotionally. This happens in teenagers, young adults, and adults.

As mothers and as citizens we don’t want anyone to go without. We have a problem with anyone going hungry or being homeless or fighting any type of addiction or mental illness. Our first natural response is to help. It is when the helping in endless. It’s when you see people going in a big circle for years and nothing changes.

That person that is so needy might just be your child, a neighbor, or maybe a relative. It’s that person you end up trying to avoid because you know they want something and are perfectly capable of getting it themselves. So my question to you is not why they don’t help themselves. There are too many variables for that. There could be a great number of factors why some people don’t strive to make their quality of life better. Instead we are focusing on when you have had enough and you tried everything in your power to change someone.

Here’s the bottom line, and I’m talking to the moms out there that feel bad for their children because the father wasn’t around. I’m talking to the person sitting there that is cringing because the neighbor is coming over, and the person who’s phone is ringing from their cousin who is looking for another place to live again.

The art of releasing is something that you have to be ready for. It is when you get to the point when you are not changing your life to fit someone else’s. It is a release from; I need a ride, can you do me a favor, can I borrow, do you have? Once you are so fed up with it, you will change YOUR behavior. After a couple of days of not giving in, then you start to release, you release the anxiety, you release the feeling of when are they going to call, when are they going to show up, etc. After that period is over you will start getting comfortable with yourself. You will have such a sense of freedom. Just think about coming and going as you please. When you schedule an appointment, there will be no interruptions and you will get there and get there on time. It will be a new life for you.

When you enable someone, you are really helping them screw up their life. If they wear out their welcome or they realize that you are not going to help them out, they find someone else. They will use that person until they get tired of it too. It’s so true that someone has to hit bottom before they have an awakening. They will not find their soul until all help is gone. At that point they will become accountable for their own life and their own actions.

It is human nature to feel sorry for someone. It is human nature to just nurture someone. It is our compassion and our empathy for other’s that ends up getting used and taken advantage of.

Once you release everything, take time to spoil yourself. Take that much needed and deserved break; from all the negative people and circumstances that have surrounded you. Go back to the positives and stay there. Because once you are there, in the positive, you will be more aware of your own happiness. Don’t feel bad if you spend money on yourself instead of giving it to someone else. Do not feel bad if you go somewhere and don’t ask them to go with. Don’t feel bad if you can help, but don’t offer to, or say no. Remember, it’s all about them being accountable for themselves. We’re not talking about the people who fall upon hard luck. Everyone at some time in their life or another fall on hard times, this is about the ones who decide to stay there. Remember, God helps those who help themselves. This statement is so true. And remember, you can control your own destiny, not anyone else’s. So, enjoy your new found freedom. Releasing the ability to help others is a hard concept to grasp. But the end result can be so life changing for them once the reality sets in that they will have to change their own life.