Some of us seem to attract toxic people like a magnet. Or maybe a better image is of wasps buzzing around a jam pot, and each one packing a nasty, venomous sting they don't mind using.

Skewed Perspective

No surprise then, that so many toxic people magnets end up with a horribly skewed view of their world and the people in it.

Who could blame them, for instance, for believing:

  • All men are toxic - or -
  • All women are toxic
  • Everyone they meet, one way or another, will turn out toxic eventually
  • They will always be natural born losers
  • They will never attract good, non-toxic people and so should hang on to what they have, no matter how bad

Can You Demagnetize a Toxic People Magnet?

Simple answer - yes, you can.

How to Demagnetize Yourself

Perhaps the best place to start is with your own personal self-beliefs. I don't mean moral or religious beliefs, but what you believe about yourself, and what you believe about others.

It's only natural to form negative beliefs about the way things are, when life has had you under the cosh for a while. You may have heard these negative beliefs called self-limiting beliefs. Re-read the bullet points above. They are all good examples of how a self-limiting belief can look.

The Most Damaging Self-Limiting Beliefs

But the most damaging ones of all - because they stop you from even trying to change things for the better - go something like these little beasties:

  • It's my fate/destiny to be this way
  • I am what I am and cannot change

The reason these two are so dangerous is simple - they encourage you to think it's not even worth trying to make things better, because no matter what you try, you'll fail. It's worth checking now whether these apply to you.

How to Tackle Your Self-Limiting Beliefs

Self-limiting beliefs can be stubborn critters - but you can beat them.

You can begin by following these three steps:

  1. Recognise them, and write them down
  2. Formulate a 'positive opposite' statement
  3. Say your 'positive opposite'(out loud) whenever you can

To build on this, as soon as you catch yourself thinking a self-limiting belief - stop yourself and consciously say your positive-opposite statement instead.

Examples of Positive-Opposite Statements

  • I am demagnetizing myself from toxic people
  • I am changing for the better
  • I have a positive future and am beginning to make it happen

If these examples feel right for you then use them - or if you prefer, make up your own. Either way - do take this first step.

What Next?

Here's some excellent news. There are lots of effective ways to demagnetize yourself and live a life free of toxic people. However, there are two common threads running through them all:

  • A growing ability to understand what attracts toxic people to you (and maybe what attracts you to toxic people)
  • The willingness to change how you do things to get better results.

Consistently applying all the points mentioned above will be the first steps to demagnetizing yourself. Remember too, that you don't need to do it all on your own. Get some help if you need it.  That might be by investing in a good book or program - it might be by getting a coach or mentor - or even by searching out other good stuff on the web. The point is that good information and help is there for you.

However you choose to go forward - remember those first steps. Squashing those deadly self-limiting beliefs will help you get there much, much more quickly.

 

Author's Bio: 

Andrew Leigh is author of Dealing with Toxic People and the Dealing with Toxic People website and blog. Through his coaching company, Pathways Life Coaching, he has a decade's experience in one-to-one coaching and personal development.