Single & Dating? Use New Year to Learn 5 Steps to Finding a Partner and Developing a Satisfying Relationship

There is no time like New Year to contemplate your successes and failures regarding intimate relationships. If you find you long to have a partner with whom to develop true intimacy and haven’t succeeded until now, why not use New Year as a time to look inwards and see, once and for all, what stands in your way and what you need to do in order to find love and a true intimacy?

You might perceive yourself to be a successful person; smart and good looking; having a sense of humor; having good education and a good position. Yet, if you haven’t been successful in having a good intimacy, now is the time to check what’s going on and make the necessary changes!

In what follows I list for you 5 important issues to contemplate. Following them will enable you to find out what and how to change and how to proceed in finding and developing the relationship you desire.

5 steps to finding a partner and developing a successful relationship

1. Stop the 24/7 dating marathon!

2. Take time to check, within yourself, what made you fail in your relationships until now.

3. Acknowledge and accept what you do which causes you to fail (for example: are you too arrogant? Too dependent and needy? You suffocate your dates too much? You have unrealistic expectations?

4. Give yourself answers with uttermost honesty. Allow yourself to be open with yourself, straight in your eyes and be 100% true and honest about how you perceive yourself and whether there is anything you really need to change in order to become able to finally find a partner with whom to develop a successful relationship.

5. Decide what you need to change and how to begin. Having a successful intimate relationship is worth taking your time discovering things about yourself you didn’t dare before – and making the changes required to finally have a healthy and successful relationship!

Developing your Self-Awareness is of uttermost importance!

What it all boils down to is simple: if you want to develop a successful relationship you need to develop your Self-Awareness: understand what stood in your way until now; how you might have shot yourself in the foot without even knowing you did; take responsibility for some of the failures you experienced (rather than placing the blame on external factors or on your dates/partners) and become truly motivated to seek ways to make a positive change which will enable you to develop a good relationship.

What does it mean to develop Self-Awareness?

It means embarking on a process of self-discovery, one which enables you to understand the many ways in which you might have sabotaged your relationships until now. It means gaining understanding of a host of factors which caused you to behave in ways which harmed your relationships (this could be your opinions, your world-view, your attitudes towards partners and relationships, fantasises you hold on to, your needs and deprivations and so on – all of which have controlled your reactions and behaviors and led you to sabotage your relationships without you even being aware of it).

How to begin developing your Self-Awareness

The most important decision you need to make is to begin developing your Self-Awareness. Deciding to do so is a prime condition for succeeding in learning things about yourself you haven’t known before.

After making this primary decision, there are a few avenues you can take to pursue it: attend self-awareness workshops, read articles and book on the subject, talk with counselors.

Whichever route you take, the most useful way is for you to observe yourself and pay attention to the ways you behave on dates and with partners. You can then realize those reactions and behaviors of yours which repeat themselves throughout all your interactions and sabotage your attempts (for example, you always “love too much”; always “are too submissive”; always “are too controlling”; always “are too needy and suffocating”; always believe “you know it all”, and so on).

When you pay attention to your habitual ways of interacting with dates and partners, you begin to realize how these harmed your attempts at building a successful relationship. You are then a step closer to knowing what and how to change in order to develop the relationship that you desire.

The challenge of Self-Awareness

The approach I advocate here might be different from many tips you have received and tried so far. But if you haven’t been successful in developing a healthy and satisfying relationship until now, you have nothing to lose by developing your Self-Awareness, but only to gain.

Doesn't it worth trying in order to have a satisfying intimacy?