If someone has just broken up with their partner, they can be in a bad way. They might have been with them for a number of months or years but, no matter how long it was, they won’t just be able to carry on with their life.

Yet, as this person will have been a big part of their life and now they are no longer part of it, this is to be expected. The bond that they had with them will have come to an end.

A Natural outcome

As a result of this bond being broken, a will have caused them to experience a lot of pain. So, while this person won’t have passed on, the experience that they are having will be very similar to how it would be if they had.

What they have received from them, for however long will no longer be there and this will greatly deprive them. There can be moments when they feel deeply sad and helpless and other moments when they can’t feel anything and are very low.

One Scenario

If what has happened is not affecting them, it could show that they are caught up with something else. By working or watching TV, then, they might be able to put what is going on in this area of their life to one side.

They could also have moments when they imagine being with their ex again and doing some of the things that they used to do together. In each of these cases, they will be able to temporarily avoid how they feel.

External Feedback

If they were to talk to a friend about what they are going through, they could say that what they are going through is normal. Additionally, they could say that as time passes, they will gradually feel better.

This could be something that they will agree with and be grateful that they have this friend in their life. Another thing they could be told is that it is important for them to accept and work through how they feel and to keep in mind that they won’t feel this way forever.

Another Route

Alternatively, after talking to a friend about what they are going through, they could be told that they need to start sleeping with other people. This friend could say that this will allow them to move on from what happened.

What this may illustrate is that this friend has done this at least once in order to move on from an ex. This could be something that has already crossed their mind and now that their friend has mentioned it, they could follow through with it.

The Next Step

Regardless of whether they have spoken to a friend about what is going on for them and this friend has suggested that they do this; they could believe that sleeping with another person will help them to move on. After a few days or weeks, this might have taken place.

Consequently, they could find that they do feel better and it might not be long until they sleep with the same person again or someone else. It can soon be as if they have put what happened behind them.

A Saying

By ‘getting under another person’, they will have been able to ‘get over their ex’. After a while, they might decide that they no longer want to behave in this way and want to start another relationship.

The experiences that they have had with these people will have allowed them to create greater space between their ex. They will have been able to break out of the state that they were in and begin again.

Another Outcome

Conversely, they may find that even though going with others has allowed them to feel better and distracted them, it hasn’t completely changed how they feel. When they think about what they have been doing, they could feel guilty and ashamed.

What can play a part in this is that although they will be single, they could believe that they have betrayed their ex. Moreover, it might have made them think about how it was with their ex and caused them to crave their presence.

A Big Difference

It will then be clear that just having sex with someone is not the same as having sex with someone who they have an emotional connection with and love and care about. Therefore, there will be the pain that they are experiencing after having broken up with their ex and the pain that they are experiencing after having casual encounters.

What might occur to them at this point is that they can’t run away from themselves and there are no shortcuts. Facing and working through how they feel and being patient will be essential if they truly want to move on and start again.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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