As a parent raising a teenager, it would be safe to say that you want what’s best for your teen. But as we evolve as beings having a human experience, our approach and understanding of “how” we raise our teenagers needs to change drastically. As the saying goes, “proof is in the pudding” and as we look around and see the general consensus of “how” parents are communicating with their teenagers, it’s just not working. In general, most parents still carry over their same approach to parenting their teen in the same way they did when they were kids (infancy to eleven). But once a child reaches the age of twelve, it is imperative that parents understand their role has drastically changed.

So what has changed for a parent in raising a teenager ?

The first thing a parent must realize is that they no longer need to hover over their teen constantly and more so, they need to see themselves as a guide more then a parent. As a guide, a parent understands and honors their child’s space to start making their own decisions. More importantly, a parent must see the value in allowing their teen to not only make their own choices, but to fall down if they made a poor one. As a guide, the parent must paint a picture for their child about the situation at hand and play out all the different scenarios for their teen in an honest, fair, loving, and playful way. As scary as it may be for many parents to see their teen fall down and make a mistake, this experience will empower their teen to start becoming more self-reliant and feel the effects of their choices so they can not blame their parents for the situation they may find themselves in. What most parents don’t realize is that most teen rebellion comes from the fact that their parents do not provide them the space to be their true selves which is why so many adults are running around trying to discover their authentic self.

The second key factor in a parent’s role is to understand that their teen is going to teach them as much as they will guide their teen. Parents must see that the relationship with their child is equal and reciprocal and that there is a dance going on between the two. The parent is dancing with their teen as a guide and the teen is dancing with the parent as a mirror reflecting back and forth to their parent who they are and how they are doing not only as a parent, but also as a human being. It’s a shame that so many parents do not realize that their teen has so much to teach and offer them. Children are so pure and honest and they will reflect to their parents exactly who they are, both positive and negative.

So if you are raising a teenager , remember that how you approach your teen with your parenting will play a huge role in the parent-teen dynamic.

Author's Bio: 

Sergio DiazGranados, an ex-troubled teen and the director of the Teen Support Institute of Los Angeles has been working directly with troubled teens for twenty years. In the 90's and early 2000's he used to produce rave parties and publish a music magazine working directly with many troubled youth in Los Angeles. While connecting with these teens he was considered the "responsible one" and many came to him for advice. The magazines goal was to spoon feed spiritual, environmental, and health issues to this young audience. In exploring this role further he became a Teen Life Coach in 2003 and has been working directly with teens on supporting them transition into adulthood while helping parents build stronger relationships with their teens. Sergio also worked in the personal growth, spiritual, health, and green media industry with Dragonfly Media, Conscious Enlightment, and Gaiam for seven years where he helped manage sites such as,, and His mission is to bring conscious parenting to the masses as he believes parenting is in the "how" and that teens need to be empowered to make their own choices and discover their authentic self.