Thanks to a platform that offers a ‘virtual girlfriend experience’, a man can receive far more than he did in the past. Before this platform was available, he would have been able to view pictures and videos of a woman but that would have been about it.

Now, by paying a certain fee to a woman, he will be able to see her body and talk to her. And, although he won’t have met her in the real world and is unlikely to ever meet her, it can be as though he is in a relationship with her.

How it looks

This will then be a relationship where messages are shared but they won’t share time together in the real world. Therefore, there won’t be the challenges that real a relationship has, the opportunities to grow and become more integrated, and there certainly won’t be any physical affection or real sex.

It could then be said that it will be a relationship where there are only good moments. However, it would be inaccurate to even say that it will be a relationship as it will be nothing more than a fantasy bond.

The Real Meaning

Of course, in order for a man to have a real girlfriend, he will have not only needed to have met the woman but he will need to spend time with her. If this hasn’t taken place, he can believe that a woman is his girlfriend but this will have no basis in reality.

With this in mind, and to use an analogy, when a man has a virtual girlfriend experience, he is essentially going to be eating food that has no nutritional value. His imagination will be being fed and this will keep this part of him busy but it won’t do much else.

Two Parts

The woman, or women, that he talks to is then going to give him ingredients, but he will be the one who is making the cake, so to speak. Thus, if it wasn’t for his imagination, talking to a woman online would do very little for him.

By being in contact with her, he can feel respected, valued and loved, and this is going to have a positive impact on his wellbeing. Yet, as he is only feeding his imagination and is not truly receiving what he needs, the effect of what he is doing is likely to wear off sooner or later.

One Step Back

As to why he has gone down this route, it can be due to a number of different reasons. For example, it could be because he was lonely and wanted attention from an attractive woman.

Then again, he could be in a relationship that is not going well. Regardless of what it was, he would have been in pain and needed a way to release tension and feel better.

No Different

On one level, having a virtual girlfriend won’t be the same as drinking alcohol, for instance, but, at a deeper level, there won’t be much difference. That’s not to say that having a fantasy relationship won’t be cheaper than drinking or more discreet.

When it comes to a virtual relationship, it won’t be a liquid that is giving his brain permission to release certain chemicals; it will be words, images, voice notes and videos, for instance. If he was to end this fantasy relationship, he is likely to soon come into contact with both the pain that is inside him and to face reality.

A Closer Look

So, at one point or another, whether it’s due to the effects of the ‘girlfriend experience’ wearing off or this experience coming to an end, he is likely to come into contact with how he feels and to face reality. Now, assuming that he has gone down this path because he felt lonely and wanted to connect with a woman, his life won’t have changed.

He will have covered up how he feels and he will be directing his money, time and resources toward someone who, quite frankly, doesn’t care about him. This is not to say that this woman is totally heartless, it is just that she is playing a role and he is merely another man who is giving her money.

Going Deeper

The big question is: why hasn’t he looked into what he can do to actually change his life as opposed to avoiding what is going on for him? What this may show is that he doesn’t feel that he is enough, valuable or lovable.

As a result of this, he wouldn’t have believed that there was anything that he could do and this is why went down this path. Additionally, he might not have any close friends who care about him and can support him.

Back In Time

This may show that his early years were not very nurturing, with this being a time his mother and father were not emotionally available. If this is the case, he wouldn’t have received the love that he needed in order to develop a felt sense of being enough, worthy or lovable, or developed his personal power.

Ultimately, how he was treated would have been a reflection of what was going on for his parents, not a reflection of his worth or lovability. But, as he was egocentric, he would have personalised what took place.


Irrespective of what his early years were like or what sent him down this path, it will be important for him to no longer abandon himself. The truth is that his life is important but he is the one who needs to take the first step and reach out for the support that he needs.

If he does this and keeps going, his life will gradually change. Yet, if he doesn’t take the first step, and continues to turn his back on himself, his life is likely to get even worse.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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