Not a perfect ten? Don’t beat yourself up. Being perfect is an impossible goal. Humans can never be perfect but there's nothing wrong with self improvement. We all have things that we would like to change about ourselves. However, in the quest for perfection we can get blindsided by our faults. We can get so wrapped up in them that we can become obsessed. When we have anxiety about our failures, we are unable to learn from our experiences.

We need to make mistakes so we can grow and learn. To do this, we also have to change our thinking and get out of our comfort zone. In order to evolve, we must understand that everyone’s idea of perfection is not the same. Ex. if your goal is to lose weight, you have to be realistic. All of us have a different perception of their ideal weight. As yourself if your goals are realistic. It is up to us to determine our goals, reward our achievements, as well as keep in mind the improvements you intend to make.

Perfectionists are too demanding on themselves, but if you're hard on yourself, you’ll sabotage your efforts. This is what we call ‘all or nothing thinking’ (either you’ll do everything ‘perfectly’ or do nothing at all). If you’ve struggled to kick any addictive behavior, you're very familiar with perfectionist thinking - – one drink, one piece of cake, can lead to total relapse --then start again tomorrow.

Here are some steps you can take that will allow you to accept your imperfections so you can make the changes you want":

1) Remind yourself that you are only human. Despite our most humble efforts, we occasionally fall short of meeting our goals. If you don’t think that you’re a perfect ten, you tend to be harder on yourself than anyone. This is particularly true of /children from alcoholic families.

2) See the silver lining in certain situations, it is impossible to see the value of the experience. Every negative experience also has a positive. If you want success, you have to stop beating yourself up.

3) Surround yourself with positive people. The road to self-discovery can be difficult. Recruit your most positive friends and family members to rally behind you while you go through the process of accepting your imperfections. Positive people provide you the motivation that you need to remain strong and stop chastising yourself.

4) Change is an ongoing process It takes 30 days for something to become a habit. That’s why it’s important to remember that change isn’t going to happen overnight.

5) Be patient with yourself and remember that “happiness is a journey not a destination.”

6) Model the positive thoughts and behaviors of people that you admire. Reading a book or listening to an inspirational podcast can help you accept your faults in a productive way. Let the individuals behind this material to become your role models. Read their stories and remember that they are just like you. They also have their shortcomings.

Understanding why we feel we must be perfect is helpful, but not really necessary. It's what you do now that matters. Although, it won’t be easy to turn off the part of your brain that wants you to criticize yourself, you must. When you let go the idea that you ‘should’ be a perfect ten, you’ll become a happier person, as well as continue to be motivated and that's how you get to your goal.

Author's Bio: 

I am a Psychotherapist specializing in all addictive behaviors: alcohol, drugs, food, compulsive sex, gambling, compulsive shoplifting, codependency and relationship/family issues. I have a busy private practice, and an active website:

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