I am not, today, a religious person, but to move from a low start point to a life I love today, I had to understand what god is to me. It is safe to say, at my lowest hour, I was spiritually bankrupt. I was the centre of my own universe and I tried to control all within it. For a long period it seemed to work; then it flew apart leaving me with a life without centre.

I believe in the psychology of the 12 steps and a concept of a Higher Power as you personally understand that power. G.O.D.- good orderly direction comes from that source, my higher power, and my higher power (we all label, let's label it God for discussion) is my life's centre.

There are a million words written about this topic. I related to the words below. If you are struggling as I did, they may be relevant to you.

God is subtle, but He is not malicious -Albert Einstein

Recovery is an intensely spiritual process that asks us to grow in our understanding of God. Our understanding may have been shaped by early religious experiences or the beliefs of those around us. We may wonder if God is as shaming and frightening as people can be. We may feel as victimized or abandoned by God as we have by people from our past.

Trying to understand God may boggle our mind because of what we have learned and experienced so far in our life.

We can learn to trust God, anyway.

I have grown and changed in my understanding of this Power greater than myself. My understanding has not grown on an intellectual level, but because of what I have experienced since I turned my life and my will over to the care of God, as I understood, or rather didn't understand, God.

God is real. Loving. Good. Caring. God wants to give us all the good we can handle. The more we turn our mind and heart toward a positive understanding of God, the more God validates us.

The more we thank God for who God is, who we are, and the exact nature of our present circumstances, the more God acts in our behalf. In fact, all along, God planned to act in our behalf.

God is Creator, Benefactor, and Source. God has shown me, beyond all else, that how I come to understand God in not nearly as important as knowing that God understands me."

The thought of a power greater than self can be daunting. Why would a loving being allow the horrors we hear of on a daily basis, particularly as related to children, happen? It is a question I have no answer to and today I have faith that the higher power that I have come to experience and know is not to be understood, but listened to from within.

Since having awoken spiritually again, to many positive coincidences have occurred, and I have that irrational thing called faith and know things happen for a reason, and that reasoning does not come from me.

I love spiritual growth and the higher power I know that is at work in my life today. It keeps my spiritual tank full. Ever want to freely kick this around, contact me through khbray@rogers.com. Let's grow together.

Author's Bio: 

Keith Bray is a Certified Addictions and Life Coach coaching client success by phone.