In general, someone could simply go through the motions in life and perhaps often wonder why they are even alive. During the week, then, they could wake up, get ready for work and then head to work.

Once they are there, they could perform one or a number of tasks, with it being as though they are a machine that has been programmed to perform a role. After this, they could head home and end up eating something that is fairly bland and zone out watching TV.

The Same Old Story

At the weekend, they could also watch a lot of TV, go shopping for the basics and perhaps see a few friends. If they do see friends, this could be a time when they will talk about ‘old times’ and current affairs.

These people could live lives that are just as mundane as theirs and they may, directly or indirectly, talk about how bleak their life is. They might drink a lot or engage in other pursuits to allow them to escape, if only for a short while.

The Last Straw

Anyway, after a while, they could get to the stage where they can no longer tolerate living in this way. As a result of this, they could look into how they can change their life so that it is meaningful.

Part of them can want to live a life where they practically jump out of bed each day and make the most of the day that they have been given. Going through the motions and living like a machine is no longer going to cut it.

The Next Step

After spending time looking into what they can do to change their life, they can believe that there are a number of steps that they need to take. First, they need to find things that they enjoy doing.

Second, they need to focus on contributing something or a number of things to the world. Third, they need to have relationships that are enriching and life-affirming.

The Next Part

At this point, though, they could struggle to think of things that they enjoy doing. And, if they can think of things that they enjoy doing, they might not feel the urge to do them.

As for what they can contribute that will make a difference, they might not believe that they have anything to offer. They also might not have the urge to reach out to others and create bonds that are nurturing and uplifting.

The other Side

Alternatively, they could take these steps and be able to tick each of these boxes before long. Hoverer, although they are doing things that they enjoy, are making a contribution and have good friends, they could still have the sense that something is missing.

Once again, it could be as if they are simply going through the motions, with the difference being that they are now doing some of the ‘right’ things. What could enter their mind at this point is that there must be something wrong with them.

What’s going on?

There is a chance that the reason what they have done hasn’t worked is because they are living on the surface of themselves. Due to this, they won’t be connected to their body and be in touch with their feelings.

Without this connection to their body and their feelings, they won’t have access to what will allow them to live a life that is meaningful. Therefore, in the same way that the flavour found in food is what largely makes it enjoyable; their feelings are what largely make life meaningful.

The First Part

So, when one doesn’t have access to their feelings, they will naturally look toward the external world to provide them with meaning. But, as it has to come from within, it won’t matter what they do.

This is why they can model those who live a meaningful life and do what they do or follow the advice of experts and ancient wisdom and still feel empty and indifferent. Now, as their feelings are so important, why wouldn’t they be connected to them?

A Closer Look

What this may show is that their early years were a time when it was too painful for them to be in their body and connected to their feelings. Consequently, they had to leave this part of them and live in their head.

Not only would this have separated them from their feelings, it would have also separated them from their intuition and their body’s wisdom. This would have set them up to become dependent on their intellect, with them looking toward this small part of them to direct their life.

What Happened?

As to why it was too painful for them to be in their body at this stage of their life, it could show that they were deeply deprived. Their mother and/or father might have been emotionally unavailable.

In addition to rarely being seen and heard, they may have been left and perhaps physically harmed and verbally put down. Irrespective of what happened, this would have deprived them of what they needed to grow and develop in the right way and this would have deeply wounded them.

A Process

Reconnecting to their body and their feelings is likely to take time. A big part of what will allow them to do this will be for them to face and work through the pain and experience the unmet developmental needs that they had to repress all those years ago.

This will take courage, patience, and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

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