LYING TO FEEL ACCEPTED

LYING TO FEEL ACCEPTED
I blog frequently for several reasons.
I have “journalled” or blogged for years as a part of my life recovery. Simply, it lets me get things that are on the inside to the outside. I was taught that this was healthy behaviour and guess what? It helps. Honest sharing is good for all.
Over the years, as I’ve shared some of my writings, I have been told that they have helped others. I am not unique, and others can relate to some of the thoughts that go through the “Disney World” that sometimes serves as my mind. Sometimes in sharing I connect with new people and build a personal relationship, once in a blue moon I attract someone who wants my professional help
Often in sharing, I get great feedback, ideas to improve the things I do, new perspectives and some things that set off a bell.
Today, I heard from an online “friend” John, as he responded on an article “10 Reasons We Fail”, about something I certainly did, but have not thought about in this context for a long time.
Let me share some of John’s thoughts: “Just a personnel part of my walk was breaking the chains of "LYING TO FEEL ACCEPTED". I feel I lied so much I hated to admit my problem with lying. Being comfortable in my own skin was a major break through. I am so happy and have made amends to myself for all the inaccurate portrayals of where I worked, who I've met, family, lifestyle, and many other issues that were totally false. I hope and pray that anyone I have mislead, could see through the lies, and said a prayer for me. I think manipulation is a part of fuelling addictions. We "feel" obligated to live a lie. NO MORE! NOT FOR ME! Progress is a good thing, don't give up! Godspeed, John”
A great thing to reflect on, the need to resort to lying to feel accepted! Thanks John for sharing with me and others.
I admit my guilt in this. I have embellished on my resume, concocted stories to embellish accomplishments and contacts and like John, on other “lifestyle” issues.
Why?
Because I thought who I was, what I had done and what I had become were not good enough for you to accept me, and being accepted was terribly important to me.
Why? For many reasons, but to distil it down to its simplest; because who I became was not someone that was good enough for me to accept, and I was sure that if you really knew me, you would not accept me as just Keith.
I have a feeling there are going to be many people who read this, and get a funny feeling inside like I did. Thanks John for sharing with me and allowing me to quote you. I certainly could feel and relate to your words.
Accepting me was a process. It took hard work and a lot of help. As I know John would tell you, it was well worth it. You clearly see it in his words.
Would you like to deal with issues that cause you to lie to be accepted? If I can help put you on the path, contact me through www.hopeserenity.ca.