First of all, let me say that I am no expert in quantum physics, so for those of you who are not inclined towards reading a whole bunch of scientific technical terms, you may now breathe a sigh of relief, because I'm not capable of writing them either!

In fact, in order to write this article, I had to do a bit of research on quantum physics, and just so that I don't write the wrong things and make a fool of myself (haha!), I'm just going to share an extract from this article that I read online:

"...the observation or manipulation of Particle A consequently affects the behavior of Particle B, even though Particles A and B appear to be completely independent of one another. The amount of space separating the particles is irrelevant; an inherent connection remains between the two. One is affected by and linked to the other, distance being inconsequential."

If you have read about Ho'o'ponopono, this might not be new to you. That simply by healing yourself, you are able to heal others. It doesn't matter if the person is in the same room as you or a continent away, and it doesn't matter if the person is your loved one or a total stranger. Even just by having a different thought in your mind, you are exerting an invisible force around you and creating a change in your world.

You may be thinking, but thoughts are just thoughts right? Well, in the EFT workshops that I used to conduct in the past, I would conduct experiments like this. 3 total strangers are standing a distance away from one another in a triangle. Stranger A sends loving thoughts to Stranger C, while Stranger B sends bad thoughts to Stranger C (and this was always a challenge for the volunteer being Stranger B!). Except for Stranger A and B, nobody else knows what they are doing and to the audience, it just looks like 3 persons standing there.

After a few minutes of this, I would ask Stranger C how she feels. In all of the experiments conducted, Stranger C would invariably report that she felt more comfortable towards Stranger A than Stranger B, despite not having known them before the workshop.

In the next part of the experiment, Stranger A and Stranger B do the same thing, but this time, I ask Stranger C to think of loving thoughts. And after a few minutes when I ask feedback from all 3 persons, I would often get Stranger B reporting that it seems harder to send bad thoughts to Stranger C. One person even commented, "It seems as if there is a shield around her." Talk about the power of love!

Isn't this bizarre? That in just a short amount of time of less than 10 minutes, 3 total strangers can have a tangible effect on one another's thoughts and feelings? Imagine having an excessive amount of hatred towards a person for a long period of time. Aside from the pain you will be causing yourself, what effect would this have on your relationship with that person? Conversely, imagine having abundant love towards a person for a long period of time. How different would that relationship be?

Last Sunday, my 6 year old son was throwing a tantrum because I switched off the TV and told him to do his homework. I'm not one to be swayed by tears (yes I can be quite cold-hearted!) and in fact, I was so annoyed by this that I immediately started to do EFT on myself. The tears stopped within a few minutes, and with my husband's intervention, we reached a compromise on TV and homework. Perhaps this was more to my husband's credit, but what I noticed was that for the rest of the day, my son was practically by my side all the time and we were sharing many laughs together. Usually after such an incident, he may decide to be closer to his father and give me the cold shoulder (talk about emotional blackmail!), but that day, it was the opposite and we had a wonderful time together for the rest of the Sunday. Even my husband noticed this and was wondering what spell I had put on him. :)

Well, EFT is the spell! Let me clarify though that I was not doing surrogate tapping for my so but only for my own annoyance with him. I believe the tapping had done such a good job that my energetic connection towards my son became clear and positive, and on some energetic level, my son felt it and responded accordingly. If I had remained angry with him, I'm sure that our Sunday wouldn't have ended as well as it did.

Maybe some of you might not be convinced by this, but how about giving it a go? Think of somebody that you don't have a good relationship with and do the following exercise.

Tapping on the Karate Chop point, say "Even though I feel this way towards ______ (the person's name) and I can't help the way I feel because _______ (the reason), I choose to love and forgive myself anyway and I am willing to heal myself in a way that would lead to a better relationship with ______ (the person's name)

Tap on the remaining EFT points noticing the thoughts and emotions that arise as you do so. Finish off by tapping 2-3 rounds of the EFT points and saying "I am willing to send love to ________ (the person's name)" at each point.

You may need to do this up to a week or even longer if the relationship involves long-standing issues but if you persevere, I am sure you will notice changes in the relationship in one form or another. If you do give this a try (and I highly recommend that you do!), be sure to let me know how it goes!

Author's Bio: 

Lena Chen is an experienced EFT practitioner and author of "Emotional Freedom at your fingertips: How to get from PISSED to PEACE in mere minutes with Emotional Freedom Techniques" as well as creator of the EFT Affirmation Cards. Her expertise lies in helping her clients to heal chronic pains, relationship conflicts and depression. With her keen intuition, compassion and the wonderful efficacy of EFT, she has helped hundreds of people to heal themselves, thus improving their self-esteem, health and relationships. To find out more about Lena, please visit her website at or contact her at