Involving third parties in relationship matters doesn’t solve your problem, it compounds the issue. If you discuss your private affairs in public, it is going to backfire. Managing relationships by committee condemns them to a premature death. The best approach is to allow time, patience and the human conscience a moment to work. Besides, only you and the person that’s involved posses the ability to actually solve your problem. Once you put people in your business, you never get them out. It’s human nature for people to hold on to negative preconceptions about people. This is especially true as it pertains to your friends and family when you immerse them in your relationship.

There is an old saying, “A dog that brings a bone carries one.” In other words, people that have an eager ear to hear your business cant wait to tell it. Using your as the example, don’t you have at least one person you share information with? Other people are just like you! The juicier the gossip, the harder it is for someone to hold it in. There is a ninety percent chance that anything you say will be repeated to someone. Not only are you needlessly exposing your relationship to unnecessary scandal, you’re betraying your mate. Long after the two of you get past the problem, friends, relatives and those in your social circle will still be whispering about you and your significant others past issues. i.e. Don’t get pissed off at your relations when you put them in your business to begin with.

Wise men heed the counsel of many advisors bearing fruit. Rule - Misery loves company so watch whom you seek advice from or vent to.

Here some suggestions if your are going to get advice or seek outside counsel:

Talk to a professional - Relationship Expert, Licensed Counselor. Registered Life Coach
Get advice from a couple that have successful happy relationship that’s lasted a minimum of fifteen years.
Read the word, then pray.
Use wisdom, not emotions, to make relationship decisions. If God is involved things will always fare far better.
Last but not least, take responsibility for your contribution to the situation. Lead by example. A sincere apology goes along way.

by D Ivan Young, Relationship Expert and Best Selling Author.

Author's Bio: 

D Ivan Young is Urban Americas foremost Relationship Expert and is Best Selling Author  With an insightful yet provocative teaching style he has been hailed by millions of fans across the country as remarkable. His simple, direct and uncomplicated approach soothes bruised hearts and sparks new ways of perceiving old jaded ideas about love, romance and relationships. Angelically insightful best describes his approach to teaching, lecturing, counseling and ministry. Utilizing an authentic and engaging rhetorical presentation, his message is packaged to reach the masses; if you have a PHD or GED you won’t miss a beat hearing him speak. D Ivan Young makes complicate relationship issues seem simple and within anyones grasp. He has helped men and women of all ages, races and doctrines develop authentic, healthy, Godly, lasting relationships. He states, “Everybody deserves to be love by God and the right person, even if that person is yourself. You are somebody special. Despite what you’re going through at the moment know that there is a special plan for the rest of your life.”

Over the years D. Ivan Young has been interviewed on or featured in Associated Press Releases, CNN Radio, CBS, ABC, MSN, Yahoo News, Gospel Impact Radio, The Chicago Tribune, New York Times, Chicago Tribune, Your 15 Minutes, 24 Hour Mom, Divine Canada Women's Magazine, Sex With Sue, Your Time With Kim, CBS Television's Great Day Houston just to name a few.  He is a featured expert on, Love, and Commitment 

I highly recommend his new book Break Up, Don’t Break Down for women’s groups and singles ministries. If your getting married, going through a separation, break up or just want to rejuvenate your marriage. Visit the website at or follow him on Facebook, D Ivan Young, Best Selling Author and Air Personality. Young is highly recommended for workshops, seminars, conferences and speaking engagements.  You can contact him at