Once again I'm being "bugged" to write about a topic that I have no idea what I'm going to write about (I only know when it has been written!). And the topic is, that age-old cliche advice (that according to someone from a quotation book is the worst advice in history) - just be yourself!

This advice probably (excuse my words here) pissed that someone off because he was having a big case of self-rejection. And don't we all have a case of self-rejection to some extent?

"Be myself? No thanks! I want to be Brad Pitt/Angelina Jolie/_______ (fill in your desired admired person)."

"Be myself? No... I need to be more compassionate/wealthy/ ________ (fill in desired positive trait that you feel that you lack."

You know what is the greatest irony that is contained in almost all of the self-development field today? It perpetuates the illusion that you, as you are right now, is simply not enough.

And now I am imagine that quite a number of you may be looking at the computer screen with befuddled faces and perhaps thinking, "But that's true isn't it?"

Check your responses right now! How would you feel if I were to tell you straight in your face (if you know me personally, you can imagine me doing this to you right now) - "There is no need for you to change in any way. Just be yourself. You are perfect as you are."

Do it. Right now. (Yes there may be a temptation to just treat this as an article to get over and done with and you may just want to scroll down... but why miss out on an opportunity to realise something important for yourself?)


(No I wasn't shouting btw... But I am being quite firm about this.)

Is there a part of you who is rejecting what I'm saying? Perhaps a voice that screams in outrage.... Noooooo.... i'm not i'm not i'm not.....

Well, guess what? Even the screaming is perfect. It shows you that there is still this amount of self-rejection in you. And the moment you acknowledge this, you give yourself the chance to adjust it back to reality, whether it is through EFT, NLP, The Work, or other healing techniques you may have.

Some people are afraid that if we accept ourselves fully and unconditionally, our flaws may never be corrected.

Think about a flower that is half in bloom. Can you imagine the Sun saying to it, "You are not good enough...your petals are not open enough, and for that, I'm going to stop giving you so much sunlight so that you know how bad you are, and maybe that would help you out."


Thank goodness the Sun doesn't do that! The Sun continues to send out its warm loving rays out to this half-bloom flower, and the flower continues to receive this beautiful nourishment. One day, the petals unfold and it becomes the magnificent blossom that it was always meant to become, given the right amount of time.

We are all flowers in the process of blooming. And that's perfect!

Continue shining the rays of acceptance towards yourself and others around you, and remember to receive it from yourself AND others around you.

If you have a little difficulty doing that because you have been so used to judging yourself for this and that (which I can sure understand!), here's a tapping exercise for you to do today:

Tapping on the Karate Chop point, say "Even though I just don't feel good enough, and I feel this so strongly in my _____ (name the body part that this feeling stuck in this e.g. chest, throat, stomach), I choose to show compassion towards this body part, and know that even this feeling about myself is perfect, and if I allow it to be here just for now, this feeling will bring me healing and the truth about myself."

Tap on the remaining EFT points noticing the thoughts and emotions that arise as you do so. Finish off by tapping 2-3 rounds of the EFT points and saying "Seeing the truth about myself" at each point.

Keep blooming and know that you are truly beautiful!

Author's Bio: 

Lena Chen is an experienced EFT practitioner and author of "Emotional Freedom at your fingertips: How to get from PISSED to PEACE in mere minutes with Emotional Freedom Techniques" as well as creator of the EFT Affirmation Cards. Her expertise lies in helping her clients to heal chronic pains, relationship conflicts and depression. With her keen intuition, compassion and the wonderful efficacy of EFT, she has helped hundreds of people to heal themselves, thus improving their self-esteem, health and relationships. To find out more about Lena, please visit her website at www.lenashealinghaven.com or contact her at lena@lenashealinghaven.com.