We’ve all been there at some point and unfortunately for a lot of people, it’s just their way of going about life.

Feeling sorry for yourself is self-destructive. No, I’m not being dramatic, it really is.

Constantly claiming that you’re the victim detaches you from reality and forces you to live in a bubble that you’ve created yourself. As you float around this self-made bubble of yours, you fill yourself with toxicity that obstructs you from personal development and would eventually lead you down the path of isolation.

Blaming the universe for all that is wrong in our lives is easy – it’s cowardly. You see, when we blame everyone else BUT ourselves, it’s never our fault. We can’t take responsibility for something that isn’t our fault, right?

You may find some solace in playing the victim and avoiding taking responsibility but it’s not going to help you in the long-run. Sure, there are moments in your life where you will be helpless and things may spin out of your control but there are always going to be changes that you can make to better the situation.

At some point, you need to start taking responsibility for your actions and if you want to feel like you’re in charge, you need to quit playing the victim!

Here are a few ways you can stop self-victimizing and change your life around.

1) Accept that you’ve been playing the victim

Acceptance is always the first step. If you want to change the victim-mentality you first need to understand it.

There are many reasons why people play the victim. Firstly, self-victimization is the easiest way of getting attention from others. If you continuously talk about how sad everything in your life is, you’re bound to draw concern from others. Victims feed off other people’s sympathies, it validates their behavior.

As a victim, you justify your lack of action. You find yourself saying “it’s useless”, “it’s not going to work”, “it’s not going to change anything” but how exactly do you know if you haven’t even tried it? You expect things to change around you yet you don’t want to change anything yourself. Again, it stops you from taking responsibility.

Lastly, when you’ve convinced yourself that all those around you are wrong, you make yourself feel right.

You’ll soon realize that playing the victim has brought your life to a halt and you desperately need to swing things around.

2) Take responsibility

Once you accept that you’ve been playing a victim, don’t be surprised if you feel embarrassed and even a little ashamed. You need to be able to see the errors in your ways in order to change your mentality.

Talk to others about the mistakes you have made, it helps to hear it out loud. You can even write out your thoughts, it will help you process them better.

You’ll soon begin to see things from a more objective point-of-view.

3) Take control

You’ve spent way too long complaining about how things are out of your control and yes, often times that IS the case. However, even in the darkest of times, there are always steps that you can take will make you feel better and be more optimistic in your approach.

If you find yourself stuck in a circle of negativity then take steps to pull yourself out of it. You don’t need to do anything drastic, it can be small things like getting up early to jog around the block – reap the benefits of exercising. Exercise has both physical and mental benefits. It releases endorphins in your system which produce positive feelings in your body. You don’t need to join the gym, even a thorough 30minute home workout will improve your mood.

Remember, sitting around moping will never do you any good. You’ll be in good spirits if you keep your body and mind healthy – it’ll provide you with the clarity you need to make better decisions.

4) Be grateful

When things aren’t going as planned, you can get caught up in the web of negativity. You can pull yourself out of it by focusing on the positives.

Try keeping a Gratitude Journal. Every night before going to bed, take a few minutes to write down 5 things in your life that you are grateful for. It provides you with an alternate perspective, lowers stress levels and helps you sleep better at night too. When you get the hang of it, finding the positives in every situation will come more naturally.

5) Build confidence

Playing the victim ultimately excuses you from taking any action and bringing change in your life. At the same time, you seek the attention of others to validate yourself. This need for attention represents your lack of confidence in yourself and your abilities.

If you’re stuck in a job that you hate? Invest in short courses that will teach you something new and allow you to change your career. If you’re intimidated by the big city you just moved into, get yourself out of the house and explore the place. Choosing to remain in your comfort zone prevents you from self-growth.

Take up a hobby, explore new places, meet new people – the more you put yourself out there, the less scary the world becomes and the more open you are to challenges.

Author's Bio: 

“Brooke Whistance is a passionate health and lifestyle blogger who loves to write about prevailing trends. She has been living in Los Angeles, California with her family including, her parents, two siblings and her cats. She is a featured author at various authoritative blogs in the health and fitness industry and you can find her at LinkedIn Twitter Facebook.”