Invisible Child: Can Someone Have A Fear Of Being Seen If They Were An ‘Invisible Child’?

Although someone can be used to being physically seen by others, it doesn’t mean that they will feel seen. In general, they can feel as though they are not seen and even question if they exist.

It could seem strange as to how they could be seen by others and at the same time, not feel seen. What this illustrates is that being physically seen is one thing; it is another thing altogether to feel seen.

The Difference

When it comes to the former, it will relate to another person looking at them. Yet, when it comes to the latter, it will relate them not only being physically seen but them sharing their inner world and having what they share acknowledged.

So, for them to be physically seen they will need to spend time around others and for them to feel seen, they will need to spend time with people who have the ability to attune to them. Additionally, they will need to share their inner world.

Stepping Back

Now, if they were to think about how they often feel, as a result of how they experience life, they could find that feeling ignored, helpless, hopeless and worthless is a normal part of their life. They might even have moments when they wonder if there is something inherently wrong with them.

If so, this can be seen as the reason why they are generally not seen by others. And, when they don’t feel this way, they can feel frustrated, angry and resentful.

What’s going on?

Assuming that this is the case, their life will stay this way forever and they will have to tolerate what is going on. If, on the other hand, they believe that what is going on ‘out there’ is the problem, they will have to wait until the external world changes.

However, what if there is nothing inherently wrong with them and what is going on ‘out there’ is not the issue? What if they are unknowingly doing what they can to make sure that they are not seen by others?

A Closer Look

When they are around others, they can have the tendency to hide how they feel and their needs and to be in the background. Therefore, it won’t matter if another person has the ability to attune to what is going on for them as they won’t allow themselves to be seen.

They can then make out that they are fine when they are not and act like they don’t have any needs. In other words, they will hide their true self.

A Strange Scenario

If they were to see that this is what often takes place when they are around others, they could wonder what is going on. It could be as if something else takes over and they are unable to fully show up.

For them to gain a deeper understanding of what is going on, they can imagine that they are with a friend and they stay connected to themselves. This will then be a time when they are connected to their body and reveal how they feel and express their needs.

Shining the Light

What they may find is that they expect to be criticised, humiliated and rejected. Fully showing up and expressing themselves is then not going to be something that is safe.

This will then be why they have the inclination to not show up and hide themselves around others. Part of them will want to be seen and another, stronger part of them won’t want to be.

Looking Deeper

What this can illustrate is that they were rarely seen and heard during their formative years. One or both of their parents might have been very self-absorbed and unable to truly be there for them.

This would have caused them to be deprived of the attention, affection, acceptance, support and encouragement that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. Furthermore, when they did express how they felt and a need or a number of needs, they might have often been criticised and humiliated.

The Message

If their brain was fully developed at this stage and they were not egocentric, they probably would have been able to see that their parent or parents were deeply wounded and unable to love them. But, as they were not in this position, they would have come to believe that there was something wrong with them and they were unlovable.

Along with this, they would have come to believe that their needs and feelings were bad and associated attention as something that was bad and would cause them to suffer. Ultimately, they would have been brought up in an emotional desert, and, to handle what was going on, they had to lose touch with their connected, true self and create a disconnected false self.

A New Reality

The truth is that there is nothing inherently wrong with them and they are lovable and their needs and feelings are not bad. They can also receive attention without suffering.

For them to know this, at the core of their being, they are likely to have beliefs to question and pain to face and work through. This will take courage, patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.