Sometimes the answer we desire is in what we are forgetting. I was at a conference recently where we found our coach in nature. You know, you sit in front of whatever and you ask a question and wait to see what comes. The first time I talked with my coach, she very wisely guided me with an answer to my question, so I went back the next day with a question for which I desperately wanted an answer. I asked, I waited, I asked again. My coach appeared to be very quiet this day, so I decided to go on a long walk. I gathered my water bottle and my backpack and chose a trail I had not explored.

About an hour later, as I sat on a fallen tree to enjoy the view, sip some water, and massage my sore foot. I looked up and saw another person far away. All of the sudden, my eyes fell on his walking stick... something we were calling our "Purpose Sticks" at the conference. 

Oh no, I remembered that my purpose stick was back by my "coach". At the same moment, I began laughing... my coach had tricked me, and yet, had given me my answer. The answer to my question was just that: I forgot my purpose!! I discovered, after jogging back to my coach, that my "purpose stick" had fallen beside the log I had sat upon and was hidden from my view when I left for my walk. What a great coach!

You see, my question was, How can I shift my emotions from "I'm not good enough"... "I don't deserve..." or "I'm invisible" when I'm in a new group?

Emotions predispose us to certain actions and not to others. If I'm feeling those kind of emotins, then my actions actually support me in hiding rather than stepping forward into my authentic self.  My coach told me to remember my purpose, which is to be my authentic self so I can give the gifts I came to give in this life. When I remember my purpose, there isn't room for those other emotions. I am predisposed to feeling the passion about why I'm here and taking actions to live within it.  Others feel it and many are drawn to me rather than being pushed away.


"Don't let what you are being get in the way of what you might become"

- Harry Palmer

Author's Bio: 

Carol Harris-Fike, ACC, NCOC
CHF Coaching and Consulting, LLC

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Carol Harris-Fike is an ICF credentialed coach serving individuals and organizations across the United States. Harris-Fike completed ontological coaching courses with Newfield Network and earned her NCC and NCOC (Newfield Certified Ontological Coach) certifications from Newfield. Carol’s thirty years’ experience in public education as a teacher, principal, and assistant superintendent enriches her work. Her study and practices with energy, including Reiki, Tai Chi, and Chi Gong support her work. She has degrees from Texas Tech University and the University of Texas at Austin. Areas of expertise include an understanding of the latest scientific research in the connections between the brain/body and how our view of the world affects how we think, feel, and move. She has designed a method for learning to shift the energy that flows within us to shift our moods, emotions, and language. She understands how this view affects the choices we make and the results we receive. Carol’s book: 5 Life Energies: The Choice You Have in How Energy Shapes Your Life was published in fall, 2009. JICT Images: Journey with Intuition & Creativity for Transformation, a set of 72 evocative photos with questions for contemplation plus a manual will be published, spring 2010. Carol and three ontological coaching colleagues created this project. She lives in Western Colorado with her husband, Rich. Learn more about Carol on her website:

Learn more about my book: 5 Life Energies: The Choice You Have in How Energy Shapes Your Life©2009,

Learn more about JICT Images: Journey with Intuition & Creativity to Transformation ©2010,