How To Use Your Personal Power To Change Your Life After Your Divorce

If your life isn't the way you want it to be, it's easy to blame circumstances or get depressed. That is especially true after going through a divorce. The truth is, though, that we have a lot more power in our own lives than we think. Our minds and hearts govern what kind of life each person leads. If we fill our mind with good, positive thoughts, we are more likely to have a good life than if we allow depression, despair and negativity to hijack our brains. Of course, positive thinking isn't the only thing we need to do. We need to look at ourselves honestly, faults and all, and work on those aspects of our character that cause us to dislike ourselves.

If you want to feel happier and more confident, you really need to set realistic expectations for yourself. The more you expect yourself to do the impossible, the more negative you'll feel. Perfectionism is a fault that many people give in to, often without realizing it. The usual pattern is that you expect too much of yourself, you fail to reach your impossibly high standards and then you beat yourself up as punishment for being imperfect. If you want health and happiness, you have to break up this pattern.

Once you give yourself permission to be imperfect, you can look honestly at your faults and determine what changes you want to make. Sometimes you may decide you just want to live with a fault, while other times you may want to work on it. For example, if you realize that you're too clingy or that you seek other people's approval, you might decide to work on these problems, while you might choose just to live with a minor problem such as always running 10 minutes late to social events or having a short temper.

Once you've decided what you want to change, how do you do it? One of the most effective ways to change is to act the way you want to be until it becomes natural. This is easy to do when you're calm, but when you get caught up in an emotional situation, it can be a lot harder.

The key to making positive changes is to practice. You can practice mentally in addition to practicing your new behaviors in familiar situations. When you're waiting in line or are stuck in traffic, don't get impatient; instead, spend that time imagining yourself behaving the way you want to behave in a challenging situation. Soon the behavior will feel natural and you'll find yourself engaging in it when you face situations in real life.

If you want to change your life, you have the power to do it. It might not seem like you have much power, but try acting like the powerful being you are and see what happens. You can change any situation in your life just by thinking clearly about what you want, practicing getting it during free time and changing your behavior in a relaxed manner.

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