If you’re a guy and you’ve been hanging around a girl you like quite a lot, but nothing sexual happened between you, chances are you’re in the friend zone. Here’s how to escape it.
The friend zone is an emerging concept in to world of dating and male-female encounters. This term is used to describe a psychological dynamic where a man is seen by a woman as a friend, and it’s hard for her to see him in a different, sexual way.
Ending up in the friend zone typically happens when as a guy, you spend a lot of time interacting with a girl, but you show no sexual or romantic intentions. In fact you behave as another one of her girlfriends.
And when you behave this way, the girl ends up feeling towards you the way she would feel towards ‘just a friend’. Thus, if at one point you decide to express romantic feelings towards the girl, she will not be able to relate to them because she only sees you as a friend.
The good news is that you can learn how to escape the friend zone, and actually do this. It’s a matter of applying some straightforward behavioral changes in your interactions with her.
Help Her See You as a Different Person
The first relevant step is to help her change her perception about who you are as a guy. You want to make small but significant changes that in way, make her not recognize you anymore and feel like she’s interacting with a new person.
You can start with your outward appearance: begin dressing in a different way, wear colors you usually don’t wear and accessorize with style. Another change you can add is to start going out with the girl to new places and doing new things together.
Last but not least, make changes in your behavior around her. For example, talk more about topics you usually don’t talk about, be more outgoing and decisive, or use a louder and firmer voice. As the girl picks up these changes, she’ll start breaking away from her old perceptions and feeling towards you.
Listen Less, Tease More
A common pattern for guys who are in the friend zone is that they tend to listen to the girl a lot, always let her talk about her problems and try to support her. Thus, the girl often uses them as an emotional cushion and a trashcan to sump her negative feelings.
If this is the case, stop it immediately! Stop showing so much support when a girl whines to you and begin changing the subject instead. You may take it one step further and tell the girl that you’re not in a mood to listen to her problems.
Now, if the listening to her whining is removed from your conversations, what will replace it? My advice is to replace it with fun, positive, relaxed conversation, and with teasing. Teasing is an excellent way to demonstrate masculine confidence and to help a woman to see you in a more masculine way.
Flirt With Her
If you begin teasing a girl, you’re stepping into flirting territory. Don’t stop at the border of this territory; go all the way in. Flirt with the girl verbally, give her sexual compliments, touch her a lot during your interactions and talk more about more sexual topics.
Probably the most important thing you can do in is to verbally and charmingly express the fact that you like her, and to show her your sexual intentions. All these flirting behaviors create positive tension between you two and have the best chances of helping the girl develop sexual feelings towards you.
Put these pieces of advice into practice, and you’ll see the girl you’re interested in acting in new, more sexual ways towards you. By being a confident, sexual and expressive man, you’re creating for yourself the opportunity to attract a girl instead of becoming her girlfriend.
Eduard Ezeanu helps people achieve social success. If this article was helpful, also find out how to start a conversation and learn how to be charismatic from two first-class articles on his social skills coaching blog.
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