My male best friend from my home country recently, in a state of panic, IMed me, "Where are you? I need to talk. It's really urgent." When we finally talked he was shaking in anguish: he found out his wife was cheating on him with the next-door neighbor and the guy's wife informed him at 3 am a couple of days before.

He was so devastated.

I always knew they had a rocky relationship and he often vented with me how unhappy he was with their relationship and his wife's behavior. But being a married woman myself I knew it wasn't all her. Marriage is just not easy period.

He always sounded like he downplayed his actual feelings for her, like love was really an illusion: it's all in the mind and you can basically control to feel love or not.

"What is love, anyway?" he once said. "I could find a better woman than her."

To my pleasant surprise he changed his tune just the day after. He told me he couldn't muster the courage to tell his wife that she needed to find a place of her own because as he put it "I guess I love her too much." He didn't want her to feel down. It was the first time I ever heard him profess his love to her that way.

Is He Hard To Read? Read This Before It's Too Late

Aha! I always told him that divorce wasn't the answer, especially since they have 3 kids. No divorced men live happily ever after alone. I told him to take his time and not to make a rushed decision that he will regret later. A man's place is really with his wife and kids, even when the marriage isn't always a happy one (no marriage is).

His reaction and confession made me realize even more that guys often denied their feelings as a self-defense mechanism. It's a guy thing. And they would always try to talk themselves into believing the opposite of what they actually believe deep down, that they want connection as much as we do.

What he did wasn't much different than what my ex used to do. It's not macho to admit that you love your woman, that she means the world to you until after your relationship hit the rock bottom or it's too late. I saw in him the male vulnerable side that he didn't often display and it made me feel more compassionate toward him and secure in my own self-worth as a woman.

In the face of a (potential) breakup, guys are often more emotional than women. The emotions are so obviously overwhelmingly mixed-up: between shame, anger and love. They will say the darndest things about their women and yet at the same time feel it in their heart how much love and loss they have for her.

Are You Going Through A Painful Breakup Or On the Brink Of Breaking Up? This is The Remedy

So a woman will only do a disservice to themselves to take what their man says at this time at face value. Don't worry what he says because often times it's not a reflection of what he feels/believes deep down. It's not set in stone and it doesn't mean it can't or won't change. Like moods and feelings, they are very fleeting. Really, when his emotion is hot, it doesn't mean anything.

So many women think the guys in their lives are either princes or jerks, but the truth is more frightening and more complicated than that. Find out why men lie or don't communicate their true feelings by clicking the shocking video below:

What Men Desperately Want You To Know But Could Never Tell You

If you need the ultimate guidance on how to rekindle your broken romance, click here first to implement seven traits of a high-value woman that will make him beg to take you back (reverse the table).

Author's Bio: 

This article is one of the breakup series I write. Please check my author page for more articles on the subejct or join me in my ex-back support group and relationship forum for more tips on how to deal with your breakup and how to get yourself on the path of getting your love and your life back. Please also follow me on facebook: for my daily nuggets of reflections/insights/advice and tips on attracting and maintaining a lasting relationship and fixing a broken one.

Katarina Phang is an author, love/life coach specializing on reuniting couples and curing troubled relationship. She is finishing her 4th book, a self-help book/memoir on her experience of dealing with breakup and how to get on the reconciliation path. She founds a free ex-back support group and relationship forum