So the relationship is over and you're wondering how to deal with a break up. Maybe it's the first break up you've had that really upset you. Or maybe it's not your first and you're looking for answers because even after all this time you still don't know how to deal with a break up.

When a relationship ends you can have several reactions. You might be missing your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Or you might be angry as hell and wonder what you ever saw in them in the first place. You'll probably feel a variety of things, and maybe several different emotions in the course of a single day.

Knowing how to deal with a break up is never easy, but there are 3 things you can do that can help you deal with the pain.

First, distract yourself with humor. You won't be able to get away from the sadness and anger you're feeling right at first. And many experts believe you shouldn't try to avoid it. Feel it and just let it happen. But you can't let this go on too long.

Once you've had that good cry or those days spent moping around the house, it's time to distract yourself. Watch funny movies on DVD or go see a funny film. Talk to the friends who make you laugh. Go see a comic if there's a show in your area. Laughing will make you feel better and forget your pain for a little while.

A second thing you can do when learning how to deal with a break up is do something you couldn't have done while in the relationship. Did he dislike a certain kind of food and that kept you from going to that type of restaurant even though you love it? Did you not go to see a certain type of movie because he hated them?

Do things that you love that you couldn't do in the relationship. You'll feel a bit liberated and rediscover something you truly enjoy.

Third, stop think about relationships, period. The tendency for some people is to want to jump right into something new to provide a distraction from the old relationship. Try not to do this. You'll have to time for more relationships later, you have all the time in the world. Focus on you for a change.

Think about your goals, without a boyfriend or girlfriend. What's important to you? Have you always wanted to get more fit by lifting weights? Have you always wanted to have one of your poems published? Write a novel, get promoted at work, or learn to scuba dive? Pick something that you're passionate about, and do it.

Look at this time after your break up as an opportunity instead of a setback. Now you have time to focus on yourself. Do something that makes you happy and work toward a goal. How to deal with a break up is a very individual thing, so be a little selfish for a change and work toward something you really want.

And it's time to grow as a person as well. My breakup really shaped me to be the person that I am today. Though I don't want to go through that again, It's really not an experience wasted. I learned a lot of valuable lessons through the pain and suffering. It taught me what self-love, self-esteem and self-confidence really means to attract the kind of relationship I want. I'd like to share that experience with you:

What Is A High-Value Woman And How To Become One So He Can't Resist Committing To You? 

Now, if you are a woman, get the crucial tips on how to deal with breakup and try to put your relationship back in order here!.

This soften boundary principle is often the best remedy to your situation because your reactiveness has caused this breakup in the first place. A lot of my clients are being helped implementing the advice in that class.

Author's Bio: 

This article is one of the breakup series I write. Please check my author page for more articles on the subejct or join me in my ex-back support group and relationship forum for more tips on how to deal with your breakup and how to get yourself on the path of getting your love and your life back. Please also follow me on facebook: for my daily nuggets of reflections/insights/advice and tips on attracting and maintaining a lasting relationship and fixing a broken one.

Katarina Phang is an author, love/life coach specializing on reuniting couples and curing troubled relationship. She founded a free ex-back support group and relationship forum