Creating time for just the two of you is a vital part of a healthy relationship. Make getting away a regular part of your life. Take a weekend at least once a year; better yet, make it a week, twice a year. Too often couples allow their relationship to fall on the priority list behind the myriad of other balls they are juggling. Time away from daily stress can be just what they need to reconnect with each other.
Have a plan and at the same time be flexible, and open. Choose activities that you both enjoy and take turns doing activities that you each enjoy. Most importantly, if you are joining your partner in an activity that would not be your first choice, SMILE and enjoy yourself. Your partner will be joining you in an activity of your choice as well.
Decide ahead of time to have a great time, no matter what. The chances of something not going perfectly on your trip are high. Decide ahead of time to handle problems with finesse and humor, rather than anger and negativity. If something goes wrong, take a deep breath and think, at least we are together and we will make the best of this. Your overriding goal is to create a great couple's getaway, in spite of any obstacles that you might encounter. Accept the challenge.
Build in some time to talk and connect. In fact, taking 10 – 20 minutes a day to talk in the months and weeks leading up to your couple's getaway is highly recommended. It will build the connections between you that will help make your couple's getaway amazing. Practice hugging every day before and during your getaway.
Remember to enjoy the process and the journey. Look at each other, smile and share. It is the time together, not chosen destination that are important. Create a happy memory that you can treasure and enjoy reminiscing for the rest of your life.
Turn off the distractions. Take a break from work, friends, and family. Shut off the cell phones, email, even television. This is time for just the two of you. Resist the urge to keep stirring all the other pots in your life.
Plan to handle your disagreements in a mature and constructive manner. Each of you decide ahead of time that while you are away, when you disagree that you will each listen respectfully to the other's thoughts and opinions and do your best to understand the other. Plan to settle for only win win solutions. Give up having to be right, so that you can have a happy getaway. This is also good advice to follow when you are at home.
Choose to enjoy your time away and your time together. See this time as an opportunity to put lots of positive energy into your relationship. Shelve any resentments and ongoing problems with which you are presently dealing. Choose to focus instead on what you like about each other and on enjoying your time together.
A great couple's getaway requires maturity, a positive attitude and a sense of humor.
Susan Derry, B.Ed., M.S.Psy., R.P.C., C.P.C.
Professional Counselor & Life Coach
Co-author of Marriage Prep: Beginnings a downloadable marriage preparation course
Co-author of Intimate Sex: Manual for Lovemaking, a sex manual for couples
Offers a free Nurturing Marriage Ezine
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