Some women get really hurt from just a few month fling? Why? Because they invest too much, too soon in the relationship and have soaring expectations of it. They buy into the fairy tale they concoct themselves that this is it: he's the One and they're "in love" not realizing that the dizzying feeling of being in love is actually a function of chemical cocktails in the brain and can easily be induced upon oneself because it feels great to be in love.

Everyone wants it. However, it's not necessarily so.

Many of us get over-excited about someone before really knowing him. We begin to concoct a narrative in our head about his personhood which is not necessarily the case. We build up expectations in our mind and when things don't work out (or he disappears), we are devastated. So, it's wise not to put the cart before the horse. Let things unfold organically. Don't get ahead of yourself and be duped by your own fantasy.

This is the essence of falling in love with the idea of a person, than the person him/herself. It happens more times than we realize.

Always, don't get too invested too early. Not until he says "yes, we're boyfriend/girlfriend." Even then it's always wise to keep your eyes and ears open.

More often than not, people are in love with the IDEA of being in love. The true "being in love" has passed the test of time and many hurdles/obstacles along the way. You share a sense of history with that person and through thick and thin and a lot of hurts on both sides, you love him/her anyway.

When it doesn't work out, you surely are burned however it's really up to you how you feel. You have that power by shifting your focus.

Realize that life is abundant. You will find those feelings again in others in no time if you allow it. Don't pine for anyone, be open to anything. You are the prize that lucky deserving man will win. Have faith in it. Self-confidence is very attractive to men (read this to know how you kill his attraction for you). Desperation and pining are not.

Self-love is hard to come by sometimes but you can practice doing that by focusing on the right thoughts. Putting men you're attracted to on a pedestal -as we usually do as soon as we are hooked- isn't the way to go. The minute we put a man on a pedestal, he starts looking down on us. Always repeat the mantra that you are a gift to any man.You are the prize.

These things can be learnt, don't wait around and play the guessing game of what works and doesn't work with men. Learn about it the right way

Read These Four Components To Learn What Emotional Hot Button To Push That Will Inspire A Man To Move The Relationship To The Next Level 

If your relationship is somewhat rocky right now. And he goes hot and cold a lot of times, my program will help you in the path of him committing to you forever as many of my readers and clients have done so by applying my powerful tools and principles.

How To Ignite His Attraction and Keep Him Hooked on You

If he has become distant, learn why here so you can take necessary steps to win him back and don't repeat the same mistake later.

Author's Bio: 

This article is one of the breakup series I write. Please check my author page for more articles on the subejct or join me in my ex-back support group and relationship forum for more tips on how to deal with your breakup and how to get yourself on the path of getting your love and your life back. Please also follow me on facebook: for my daily nuggets of reflections/insights/advice and tips on attracting and maintaining a lasting relationship and fixing a broken one.

Katarina Phang is an author, love/life coach specializing on reuniting couples and curing troubled relationship. She founded a free ex-back support group and relationship forum