When it comes to living a fulfilling life, one thing that is often mentioned is having an open heart. Or, perhaps to be more accurate, this is what is often mentioned in the world of self-development and spirituality.

What this typically relates to is someone being connected to how they feel and allowing their feelings to guide them. Therefore, instead of being directed by their mind and their thoughts, they will be directed by their heart and their feelings.

Another Element

Along with this, being this way will allow them to not only be loving but to also let love in. They are then going to have a positive impact on the world and the world will be able to have a positive impact on them.

There will be how they behave around their friends, family and partner, that is, of course, if they have one, and how they behave when they are around strangers. And, when these people are loving towards them, they will be able to receive their love.

Two Benefits

If someone is not open-hearted, then, there are going to be at least two reasons for them to change this. First, their life will improve, and, second, they will make the world a better place.

Taking this into account, if someone can see that their heart is not open and they want to open it, they can look for a way to do this. Thanks to the internet, they are likely to come across a number of ways.

A Few Steps

So, one thing that they could learn is that they need to start bringing their awareness out of their head and into their heart. Doing this will allow them to gradually develop a stronger connection with this part of them.

Additionally, they could learn about how important it is for them to forgive themselves and others. The purpose of this is that it will make it easier for them to be loving toward themselves and others.

A New Experience

Taking these steps as well as others may allow them to gradually live from their heart. If so, they could soon be amazed by how different their life is and be filled with gratitude.

Furthermore, some of the people in their life could notice how different they are and be full of praise. They may also find that some of their relationships improve, while others fall away.

A Different Energy

Now that they are becoming a more connected human being, they won’t be the same person as they were before. Naturally, this will have an impact on their relationships.

It might seem as though people would only respond positively to this shift but there is a reason why this won’t be the case. What this comes down to is that although they will be more loving, this can bring up issues in other people.


For example, if another person only feels comfortable being treated badly and experiencing conflict, they are likely to be repelled by the opposite. This might not take place straight away but it can as time passes.

At a conscious level, they will probably want to experience love and harmony, but, at a deeper level, most likely due to their unresolved early wounds, they won’t be able to accept this. Without this understanding, though, they can believe that they are simply unlucky or are being punished, for instance.

Another scenario

Anyway, they may find that even though they are doing a number of things to become more connected to their heart, they are still unable to live from this place. They can find that it’s often hard for them to connect with this part of them and feel their feelings.

Instead, they can continue to live in their head and be directed by their thoughts and fears. If so, they can be deeply frustrated and believe that they are not trying hard enough.

Being Curious

During this time, it will be important for them to keep in mind that they are doing the best that they can and to be kind and compassionate to themselves. As this approach is not working, there is a strong chance that they need to try another approach.

What this can show is that they don’t feel safe enough to be connected to their heart and their feelings. With this in mind, as opposed to them trying to ‘open’ their heart, it will be important for them to look into why their heart is ‘closed’.

Going Deeper

This can show that at one stage of their life, they were deeply traumatised, and this then caused them to disconnect from their body and live in their head. Consequently, they would have lost touch with their feelings and instincts, with them shutting down and closing up to protect themselves.

Perhaps they were wounded and deeply deprived during their formative years, which would have stopped them from developing a felt sense of safety, amongst other things. Without this, they wouldn’t have felt safe enough to exist, let alone to be connected to their heart and feel their feelings.

A Different Angle

Therefore, it is not that they merely need to open their heart, as wonderful as this can sound; it is that they need to explore why their heart if not open. In other words, being closed-hearted is an effect and, unless the cause of this is resolved, they won’t be able to make much progress.

To use an analogy, trying to open their heart without having strong foundations will be similar to someone opening a window of a house that is under siege. After seeing what’s going on, they will soon close the window and go back inside.

The Bigger Picture

Taking all this into account, the view that someone just needs to open their heart if it is closed is, in general, a trauma-uninformed outlook. It is closed for a reason and it will take time for it to not only be opened but for it to stay open.

They are likely to have a lot of pain to face and work through and arousal to release. This is something that will take courage, patience, and persistence.


If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

Author's Bio: 

Author, transformational writer, teacher and consultant, Oliver JR Cooper, hails from England. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation, including love, partnership, self-love, self-worth, enmeshment, inner child, true self and inner awareness. With over three thousand, two hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behaviour, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice.

To find out more go to - http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

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